Summer Edition - The FU Blues Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"Kick you, Motherkicker"  

The Week Six "Another one kickin' inside. And I ain't gonna fuck it up this time." Bruce Springsteen


Table of Contents: 
I: Big Fucking Deal

II: The Most Versitile Word in the English Language

III: Safety Base

IV: Recaps
V: Schedule and Standings
VI: Announcements
VII: Fuck and Run

PART I: "I still wish you the best, with a..."FUCK YOU!" - Cee Lo Green

MIDSEASON PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT

7-10pm OPEN BAR UNTIL IT RUNS OUT at the HONG KONG IN HARVARD SQUARE

The Theme is White Hot, so wear white and look hot. 

FREE FOR YOU. $5 FOR NON-KICKBALL GUESTS.

BE THERE

PART II: "I don't give a fuck. They done push me to the limit I'm all in. I might blow up any minute, did it again. Now I'm in the back of the paddy wagon." - TuPac

This week's social media challenge, of posting our pictures with random famous people got me musing about the nature of celebrity. Now as an award winning kickball blogger, I'm well aware of the avalanche of attention that celebrity brings, so I can empathize with the giddiness you non-famous people feel when your dull and dreary lives are touched by our presence. Knowing that just a smile or nod from one of us chosen ones, will give you a memory that will overshadow all the real successes and accomplishments of your lives, validates our own sense of self-importance and narcissism. And in some communities, making the unwashed unfamous smile counts as community service for those times we have been inconvenienced by non-celebrity law.  

Since in my life I have to wade constantly through the avalanche of starfuckers in order to get through my day, (or have my people do it for me) all this adulation and attention is both validating and a pain in the ass. As often as we want to say "Thank you" we want to say "Fuck You". It's the Kardashian in us all. 


Which leads me to this week's newsletter. The f-word is a useful word, as it can be used in almost any tense in the English language to express any emotion. Since I am a famous award winning kickball blogger, words are my weapons and to borrow from the late great Christopher Hitchens, my goal in life to is build an arsenal with which to smite my enemies. Oh and to eat chicken wings.

So since I'm feeling generous to you who toil in absolute obscurity, I will bestow a word using the Word A Day random generator from Wordsmith.org for each one of your teams, to use as your rallying point, to make your life just a bit better. It's the least I can do as an award winning kickball blogger celebrity. 

Zugzwang - Don't Come on My Base
A noun, it is position where one is forced to make an undesirable move. I think we all get why this word is appropriate for you, both in terms of playing the game of kickball, and the sexual entendre on which your team name is based. 


Debouch - Slim Kickins
Debouch is to march from a confined area into the open. You are slim. Your run production is low. You need to break out and join the larger kickball universe by scoring some runs and winning some games! 

Hebetudinous  - Saved By the Balls
Hebetudinous is a dullness or lethargy of the mind, which as well know is often a consequence of high school, especially in the American education system geared more for doing well on multiple choice exams, instead of instilling into our youth critical thinking, reasoning, and other skills that contribute to the wealth and power of this nation. Anyone who has watched Season 4 of The Wire knows what I'm talking about it. 

Limpet - Legion of Doom
A limpet is a fish. In the documentary "The Incredible Mr. Limpet" Don Knotts, falls into the ocean, becomes a fish, and helps the US Navy find German submarines during World War II. And since the Legion of Doom is about as frightening and costumed as the characters of Knotts Berry Farm, (BOYSENBERRY MOTHERFUCKERS) I figured this was perfect. Or not. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing white out.


Leitmotif - Melon Farming Ninjas
For many years the Ninjas have existed, a secret society of brightly colored kickball players, full of awards, wackiness and the occasional can of spam. These are all part of the teams leitmotif, our theme of the team that blinds you with wackiness and luxury. Wait til next summer's Ninja Highlanders edition when we wear kilts, play the bagpipes and throw home made haggis at you. (And for the playoffs full sequined ball gowns, with the idea of blinding our enemies with luxury.) 

Doolally - Pecan Sandies
Doolally, which is an adjective meaning irrational, deranged or insane, applies to the fractured Sandies. Each sides hurls this epitaph at the other when when battle in the the great "Pecan/Pekhan" pronunciation debate. 

Pissoir - Menace 2 Sobriety
The pissoir is a public urnial located on the street in some cities. This is handy for those of you who are menaces to sobriety, and imbibing lots of potent potables. 

Anabiosis - Boca Cabana
This phenomenon is a return to life after an apparent death. I know the Cabana holds out hope that the closing of The Boca Bar ends with the anabiosis of that business. Or not. 

Word. 


PART III:" I want to fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to god." Nine Inch Nails


The gif I link to below disturb you, so please be advised. It was from last night's Mets Braves game. It is a horrific ankle injury suffered by Tim Hudson of the Braves, covering first base. His ankle is crushed by the foot of the runner as the runner goes to step on first.

Ankle Injury Here

I bring this up, because in kickball we have a safety base in foul territory to try and prevent collisions and plays like this. Runners going to first base, you are allowed to touch the safety base. Fielders should not touch this base, but should make the play to the base that is in fair territory. Thank you

PART III:" And then you say hey I bought you flowers. And then you say wait a minute sally. I think I got somethin in my teeth, could you get it out for me? That's fucking teamwork!" - Tenacious D. 

The Pecan Sandies 13 over Slim Kickins 1 
Lost a lot to a little. Steve (aka Machine Gun Melville) was the only one to score a run this week.  If only Brian ran to first when he kicked the ball into outfield, we may have scored 2..  Also, had a couple of nice grabs from Craig in left field. - Megan S. 

Melon Farming Ninjas 3 over Don't Come on My Base 2

In an epic rematch of last season's semi-finals, the tension in the air was thick as the London Fog. At one point, the ref had to hold back a base runner and the third base coach from coming to blows over a Dodge Stratus. Jon C channeled the catching ability of Willie Mays circa the 1954 World Series, only to have Zif rob the league commissioner of a deep ball a la Ken Griffey Sr. A few smart squeeze plays brought in Alison and Erik to tie the game at 2 all. However, time was not on our side as the setting sun cut the game short after 4 innings with the Ninjas winning what looks like a paving a path for a purview of a prominent potential playoff picture.- Erik S.

Last season the Ninjas had an undefeated regular season, only to run into the eventual Champions of Don't Come on My Base. While it's only the regular season, the Ninjas were focused on playing well and exacting some revenge. They jumped out to a 2 run lead, only to see DCOMB battle back like the Champions they were. This prompted some last inning heroics from Mike G, who drove in the winning run as the game expired into the night. - David M. 

Boca Cabana 0 tied  Legion of Doom 0 
It was a close fought battle.. No one seemed to have reach base(on a kick) until the final inning where the legion of doom was able to load the bases with no outs when spring league all star Matt C completed an unassisted triple play to keep the shutout. Some good defense kept things square for the legion and the game ended in a tie. - Andrew B.

Runs were at a premium this week and both teams left their wallets at home.  Legion of Doom played to hard fought 0-0 tie against a strong Boca Cabana team.  Standout performances on defense included Tim (Solomon Grundy) H at first base and Phil (Gorilla Grodd) at Catcher and center-field.  Claudio (Cheetah) Stuffed Crust B came off the bench in the later innings to provide some much needed speed as he bunted on base and filled in with lock down defense behind the plate.  Boca Cabana turned in the play of the day however when an unassisted triple play ended a scoring threat in the 4th.  Tune in next week as the LOD takes on Menace 2 Sobriety. - Jon N. 

Menace 2 Sobriety 5 tied Saved By the Balls 5
Menace 2 Sobriety was looking to make it 2 wins in a row. We jumped out to an early 2-0 lead as Brian K kicked a 2-run homer scoring himself and Justin. Saved by the Balls came right back to tie it up and eventually take a 5-2 lead as we had a few fielding miscues. We were able to mount a comeback in the top of the 5th. Andrew scored on a double by Sam. A single by Justin and a sac fly by Brian K made it a 5-4 game. Melissa and Mike each got on to make it a tie game. Marcus pitched solid in relief of Andrew in the bottom of the 5th ending the game in a 5-5 tie. Defensively Keara made a great catch at shortstop and Melissa played well at third.- Sam B. 

PART V: "Fuck you is the magic word. We're all living in America. America is wunderbar." - Rammstein

Standings:

View full standings here: 

Schedule:

6:30PM

Diamond:
Menace 2 Sobriety v.Legion of Doom  - Ref Pecan Sandies 

Grass:
Slim Kickins v. Saved By The Balls - Ref Boca Cabana

7:15PM

Diamond 
Pecan Sandies v. Don't Come on My Base- Ref Legion of Doom

Grass
Melon Farming Ninjas v. Boca Cabana - Ref Slim Kickins

PART VI: "Yeah, yeah, my shit's fucked upIt has to happen to the best of us. The rich folks suffer like the rest of usIt'll happen to you." - Warren Zevon

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

SHOPPER'S CAFE: COME TO OUR LEAGUE BAR, SHOPPERS CAFE. EAT ALL THE FOODS. DRINK ALL THE BEERS. SHOOT ALL THE BUCKHUNTERS. 

PHOTOS: Since Tim is playing this year, we need photos of the games that don't occur when Legion of Doom is playing. Please submit anything you got here.  Thanks as always to Tim for his continued contributions.

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow the league on Twitter and Facebook. 

PART VII: "And I can feel it in my bones. I'm gonna spend my whole life alone. It's fuck and run, fuck and run, Even when I was seventeen." - Liz Phair

Don't forget this guy won an Oscar. 

Good luck and happy kicking,
- David, GMOT Editor

Summer Edition - Escape is Never the Safest Bet Blues

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"Back later. Gone Kickin"  

The Week Five: "He's been working so hard, I've been working too babe. Every day baby. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. We gotta get out of this place, if its the last thing we ever do.We gotta get out of this place. Girl, there's a better life for me and you." - The Animals

Table of Contents: 
I: The McQueen of Cool 
II: Recaps
III: Schedule and Standings
IV: Announcements
V: Born to Run

PART I: "An' here I go again on my own. Goin' down the only road I've ever known, Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone." - Whitesnake

Human beings are endowed with a great desire to roam. From our humble evolutionary beginnings, the desire to seek new lands, adventures, resources, terrible Charlie Sheen movies,(which one? I know, I know) or simply the desire to ride on motorcycles and jump chain link fences to escape Nazis, Getting away (Getaway. Getaway. Stay away, Getaway) even just for a little while has coursed through our blood with the potency and frequency of rum drinks in a Caribbean island resort. Even as we are fully engaged in our current kickball season, fighting in the trenches with ball and bounce, striving constantly towards Immortal Kickball Glory, we fell the great pull of summer time and vacation beckoning at us like a siren song on when the waitress brings out the free wings at Shoppers. 

So to aid our wanderlust, I've contacted my travel agent to suggest various destinations for the teams of the MA Commonwealth league. While only one team will arrive at the true destination of Immortal Kickball Glory, for those that make it, these suggestions maybe just the place for teams to drown their disappointment and sorrows. Here are the suggestions my agent sent me via email today. 

Slim Kickins = "For the Slimmers, might I suggest The Gambia. One of the slimmest nations in the world, The Gambia at it's widest point is only 30 miles across. It is surrounded completely by Senegal to the East, North and South, and the Atlantic Ocean on the West. If you set up a country that was 15 miles north and south of the Charles River, you'd have The Gambia. Only with more hipsters."


Boca Cabana = " Now the obvious destination for Boca Cabana would be the world famous Copacabana beach in Rio De Janerio, Brazil. However that's a bit too on the nose, and frankly no one wants to see anyone on team Boca Cabana in speedo thongs, doing the lambada, and being whisked away in Brazil's convenient "kidnapping cabs". So my travel agent also suggested the city of Banjul, in The Gambia. Located in the mouth of The Gambia river, (and Boca means mouth in Spanish) this would be a perfect place for a team that likes puns about the word mouth and tropical destinations."

Saved by The Balls = "If they are in the mood for getting in touch with their highschool past, my agent suggests a return to Bayside. However, since no one really likes high school reunions, or dredging up the horrific memories from that time you were watching that version of Romeo and Juliet that all the teachers make you watch, only they fast forward through the brief nudity during the most famous "Oh Romeo, Oh Romeo" scene, yet because you were a raging adolescent teen male, you had to walk around with your book bag in front of your nether regions, for fear of embarrassment and/or unwanted admiration, just for seeing half a second of what could have been a nipple behind those lines on the TV that occurred when you fast forward a VHS tape. So instead of going to Bayside Highschool in California, my agent suggests a different Bayside, the bayside of Serrukunda, the largest city of The Gambia."  (Wait a second...)


Pecan Sandies = For a team so fond of, yet divided by the proper way to pronounce pecans, no country in the world embodies the North South divide in that Dr. Seuss Butter side up, butter side down war, as The Gambia. It's a narrow country literally split in the middle by a river and the great philosophical question of our time. Is it pe-cans or pe-khans? Did you know that The Gambia is famous for it's peanut production? It's like Georgia (the moonshine swilling one, not the vodka swilling one) only in The Gambia we speak English and care about professional sports teams."

Ladies and gentlemen, an editorial note, I've fired my travel agent, who turns out was simply the Minister for Tourism for The Gambia. I know. I'm as shocked as you guys. Anyway, so I've hired a new travel agent who will offer suggests for the rest of the league.

Menace 2 Sobriety = "Burn Fat and Grow Your Peni$ size while you Slep" . Oops, cut and pasted the wrong email. "Dear Sir, here is a suggested vacation nation for your friend Menace 2. Sobriety. Mr. Sobriety sounds like an interesting character. His fear of women AND the kickball is quite stunning. Reminds me of a guy I know from your area named Frank. Do you know him? Probably not. I'm sure there are a lot of Franks in your area. Probably to go with all the beans you people eat. Get it, Franks and Beans. HA! Anyway, moving on, based on the profile you filled out, the best place for Mr. Sobriety would be a Rush concert. The band that is not menacing (what Canadians are menacing?), don't play kickball, 99% of attendees of a Rush concert are men, the odds of running into a woman you will have an awkward moment or a kickball are very very low. If you can tolerate the mindless spouting of libertarian dogma and not knowing if the lead singer is a chick with a soul patch or a dude, Mr. Sobriety should have a blast. P.S. If Rush isn't touring, might I suggest The Gambia? I hear it's a great place. At least that's what this guy who is emailing me about cheap Viagr-uh, Viaducts is telling me."


Melon Farming Ninjas: = "For your friend Melon F. Ninja, might I suggest Istanbul, not Constantinople. I cannot stress this enough. If you tell someone to meet you in Constantinople, she will be waiting in Istanbul. The reasons why I think Mr. Ninja would enjoy Istanbul, besides straddling two continents, and the rich cultural traditions of one of the great crossroads of the world, Turkey is also one of the leading watermelon producing nations in the world. Melons a plenty in Istanbul. Plus you can walk around making Turkey jokes and singing They Might Be Giant songs, because yeah, the locals HAVE NEVER HEARD NORTH AMERICANS MAKING THOSE JOKES BEFORE."


Legion of Doom = "For Mrs. Doom, I suggest she visit Mayapore, India. I've booked her several nights at the lovely and exotic Pankot Palace. This quirkly castle features many secret hidden passages filled with an array of natural wildlife and comical hired thugs, comfortable, though slippery beds, and possibly a mine filled with child laborers beneath the palace's foundations. But that is just local superstition. Entertainment includes a wild ride in tracked mining carts, an authentic rock wall for climbing, complete with man eating crocodiles in the river below, and  a rickety suspension bridge that provides hours of entertainment for the entire family or the aforementioned river with the man eating crocodiles. Every night you will feast on the bounty of the land, fresh monkey brains, eyeball soup, and of course the Michelin rated delicacy of live baby snakes. Mrs. Doom will definitely leave her heart at Dr. Ma Kali's health spa (if she doesn't have it ripped out of her chest.) where their innovative magma immersion technique will just melt away the fat (and most of your skin and flesh as well.)

Dont Come on My Base = "For the members of Don't Come on My Base, might I suggest a lovely two day excursion to Climax, Saskatchewan, because frankly, if you want to have a sexual entendre, there is no better place to do it than Climax. Well, maybe Knockemstiff, Ohio, Intercourse, Pennsylvania, Pussay, France, and Cleveland, Ohio. And I'll stop here before I get hit with a sexual harassment suit. Thank you, come again!"PART II:" Every step of the way we walk the line. Your days are numbered, so are mine. Time is pilin’ up, we struggle and we scrape. We’re all boxed in, nowhere to escape." - Bob Dylan

Menace 2 Sobriety 5 over Slim Kickins 0 (forfeit)

Menace 2 Sobriety picked up their first win of the season in impressive fashion, via forfeit. The new logo we made must have scared the Slim Kickins away. We hope other teams will forfeit against as well so that we can pick up a few more wins! Without a team to play we were forced to hold a scrimmage and work on our skills. - Sam B.

Melon Farming Ninjas 5 over Legion of Doom 0 (forfeit)

In the Social Media logo contest, the Ninjas called The Legion of Doom, the Legion of Whom?. The LOD took that too seriously, as they failed to field the four females necessary for a full game facillitating a forfeit. So what was a much anticipated matchup between some former members of the MA Minuteman League's Ex-Presidents II: Frontier Justice, turned out to be a rather spirited and well fought scrimmage. Watched by the second generation of Ninjas, their parent Ninjas jumped out to an early 2-0 lead, with runs scored by Andrew and Jen, and big kicks by Paul and Mike. Nick, Paul and Big Nick pitched, and the defense was lead by Paige playing a new position in center field. The Medallion of Strength went to Kyla, who powered home the winning run and the Sword of Honor went to Paige for her outfieldian prowess. - David M.
The Pecan Sandies 5 over Saved by The Balls 1


Boca Cabana 10 over Slim Kickins1

This past spring, these two teams played as one behemoth known as Sacks n Racks. So this clash of springtime teammates, dubbed as the "mid-season world series", was just as exciting as we all thought it would be. The game started out in heated fashion as catcher Brett M of Boca kicked Andrea J of DCOMB in the knee and was forced to end her night. The match-up started out with limited runs as the pitching and defense ran hot. Boca Cabana eventually took a lead in the third inning going up 2-1, but that didn't last long as DCOMB took it right back scoring two in the bottom of the third. Boca cabana managed to tie the game late in the fourth when hit-man Brett M sent a sacrifice fly deep to right center. It seemed only fitting that this grudge match be decided in the fifth inning. Caitlin C had a huge hit sending runners to first and second sparking a four run fifth inning for the Cabana which would just be a  little too much for DCOMB to overcome. It was a game for the ages and I'm sure we will see this matchup again somewhere down the line. - Andrew B. 

PART IV: "I'm goin' down the river, down to New Orleans. They tell me everything is gonna be all right. But I don't know what all right even means" - Bob Dylan

Standings:

View full standings here: 

Schedule:

6:30PM

Diamond:
Slim Kickins v.Pecan Sandies  - Ref Menace 2 Sobriety

Grass:
Melon Farming Ninjas v. Don't Come on My Base - Ref Legion of Doom

7:15PM

Diamond 
Menace 2 Sobriety v. Saved By The Balls - Ref Slim Kickins

Grass
Legion of Doom v. Boca Cabana - Ref Melon Farming Ninjas

PART V: "That you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain,  and the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne. If you'd like making love at midnight, in the dunes off the Cape, you're the lady I've looked for, come with me and escape." - Rupert Holmes
Announcements, Announcements Announcements

SHOPPER'S CAFE: COME TO OUR LEAGUE BAR, SHOPPERS CAFE. EAT ALL THE FOODS. DRINK ALL THE BEERS. SHOOT ALL THE BUCKHUNTERS. 

PHOTOS: Since Tim is playing this year, we need photos of the games that don't occur when Legion of Doom is playing. Please submit anything you got here.  Thanks as always to Tim for his continued contributions.

FORFEITS: Ti Per WAKA rules, teams with three or more forfeits will be inelligible for the post season. Obviously it is summer and the sweet dulcet tones of being anywhere but here will lull many of you to other places during kickball season. Still, for a game to be legal, each team needs a minimum four males and four female players. Teams who have earned forfeits, please be cognizant of that going forward. 

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow the league on Twitter and Facebook. 

PART VI: "Drifting, drifting, drifting away. I feel like going back there, but never for long. I sometimes wonder if they know that I'm gone. I'm just drifting, drifting along." - Pearl Jam

Frankie says, "Relax...cause the highway's jammed with broken heroes, on a last chance power drive. Everybody is out on the run tonight, and there's nowhere left to hide. Seriously"

Good luck and happy kicking,
- David, GMOT Editor

Summer Edition - Bourbon Street Blues

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"Kickballs and Beignets"  

The Week Four: "Long before the Superdome, where the Saints of football play. Lived a city that the damned called home. Hear their hellish roundelay!" - The Simpsons



Table of Contents: 
I: A Huey Long Fucking Post
II: Recaps
III: Schedule and Standings
IV: Announcements
V: That Voodoo You Do

PART I:  "New Orleans! Home of pirates, drunks and whores. New Orleans, tacky, overpriced souvenir stores. If you want to go to hell, you should make the trip. To that Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississip!" - The Simpsons

For those of you who Fourthed here in New England, you are well aware of this really brutal weather pattern that we've been stuck in. Brutally hot, hot, heat followed by dank humidity that has rendered all attempts at hairstyling pointless.  I've only felt this oppressed by humidity in my life twice before; on a trip to Thailand and every time I descend into the Mississippi Delta to visit family and/or New Orleans. I blanch (du Bois) at the thought of existence before air conditioning.

However, we must move on as we continue our journey scaling the precipice of Immortal Kickball Glory. 

While we are only two weeks into the season, I've notice some good things, some bad things, and some things that are even better than the real thing that so far capture the essence (BAM!) of our teams and their progress towards glory. So here, we go.

Pecan Sandies

Good: They are delicious. 

Bad: Had to forfeit a game, due to a civil war within the team on whether the word is pronounced "Pea-cans" or "Pea-khans". (KHAN!) 

Even Better Than the Real Thing: In the social media challenge this week, their opponent referenced Wilford Brimley saying "Diabeetus". Always sublime. 

Menace 2 Sobriety

Good: Collectively their blood alcohol level is still below the legal limit. 

Bad: Unfortunately so is their run production

Even Better than the Real Thing: If they win the championship this season, instead of a duck boat tour, they get a 12 step program and keychains!

Slim Kickins

Good: I imagine they are named after one of the great background characters of American literature, Slim, from "Of Mice and Men"

Bad: Sadly their results this season have been as unpredictable and crazy as Randy Quaid, who played Lenny in the 1981 made for TV adaptation of the Steinbeck classic.

Even Better Than the Real Thing: They get to tend the rabbits at the end of the season.

Saved By The Balls:

Good: Have decided to drop Hayley Mills their pitcher and have decided to focus on the infielders as the stars of the team.

Bad: Are so empowered by their success, believe they can be believable stars in a WAKA version of "Showgirls". 

Even Better Than the Real Thing: Despite being winless, still aren't as desperate as Dustin Diamond. 

Legion of Doom:

Good: Have provided the topic of the Furry Fandom Fetish for league discussion.

Bad: Have not yet dressed up like Road Warrior Hawk and Animal, the real Legion of Doom.

Even Better Than the Real Thing: Next season are planning to explore Dendrophilia as part of their team concept. Let's just say if you are invited to a Legion of Doom garden party, wear your best ankle-grabbing shoes. 

Melon Farming Ninjas:

Good: It's Melon season

Bad: Keep forgetting to bring melons to share with the league.

Even Better Than the Real Thing: Melons is a common euphemism for breasts. Hee Hee Boobs! 

Boca Cabana:

Good: The can merenge and do the cha-cha. 

Bad: They can't smile without you, or hang out at an overly crowded now defunct Costa Rica bar.

Even Better Than the Real Thing: Music and fashion are always their passion.

Don't Come on My Base:

Good: Their neonish green shirts have caused this writer to fondly reminisce about watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles, and appreciate that the turtles were named after titans of the Renaissance.

Bad: Michael Bay is making a TMNT movie. May God Have Mercy on Us All. 

Even Better Than the Real Thing: Next year they are trying to make Cowabunga the next fetch. 

PART II:" Jolie Bonde, jolie fille, tu m'a quitte pour t'en aller. T'en aller, jolie blonde avec un autre comment tu crois que je vais faire a present." - Traditional

Don't Come on My Base 2 over Menace 2 Sobriety 1

'Twas the day of kickball and all through the park,

the "neon" green team was there ready to make their mark.
With knee high socks pulled on with care,
flag tattoos on their arms, and bows in their hair.

The kickballers were huddled dressed in blue, white and red,
with visions of winning the cup dancing in their heads.
Menace 2 Sobriety took the lead with the first run

But DCOMB was definitely not to be outdone.

Andrea had the most perfect kick,
which allowed Dan G. to get a run in real quick.
Nicole then ran like a bullet out of a gun,
and Andrea was able to score our second run!

The rest of the game went right as planned,
with Matt as our pitcher and his awesome hand.
Danny S. made some great catches, and Zif did the same,
It was definitely a team effort to win us the game!

But then out on the field there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from the sidelines to see what was the matter.
More rapid than eagles Menace 2 Sobriety, they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called us some names!

A call was being contested to the ref with the scorebook
And everyone yelled, and screamed "hey now, just look"
This continued until each team slowly drove out of sight,
And ended up at the bar to turn it into a good-night!

While the call ended in DCOMB's favor,
and a win is something our team always savor,
We all agree that making enemies is not our aim,
So we are happy to challenge them to buck hunter, or to a friendly "drinking" game!

-Illana

Menace 2 Sobriety knew they would be in for a tough game against the returning champs DCOMB. The wet field conditions really made it a pitchers duel as very few balls got out of the infield. In the end we came up just short losing 2-1. We played very solid defensively which kept us in the game right up to the end. Mike and Melissa made some good plays at catcher having to field numerous bunts. Brian K and Frank each made great catches in outfield. Brad played well at third and Andrew had another solid day on the mound.- Sam B

Melon Farming Ninjas 8 over Saved By the Balls 1
8 is great according the Ninjas, who for a second week in a row was able to put up an eight spot, this time against Saved By The Balls. Big plays all around, for a total team effort, team victory and melons. Sweet delicious melons. - David M.

Legion of Doom 5 over The Pecan Sandies 0
The Legion of Doom showed up in our red, white and blue ready to play but the Pecan Sandies were nowhere to be found.  Left to entertain ourselves, the LOD continued our patriotic ways and started a water balloon fight with other teams that were woefully under armed.  The Legion then celebrated our victory with a good old-fashioned American cookout. - Jon N

In an interestingly strategic move, The Pecan Sandies forfeited Thursdays game. Let's see how this works out for them.- Chris T

Boca Cabana 10 over Slim Kickins1
Thursday's game between Boca Cabana and Slim Kickins started out very close with both teams scoring in the first inning. It was slippery and sloppy mess, the fun kind of mess. A stew of good kicks and some unlucky bounces for the kickins led to a big third by the Boca Cabana opening their lead up by a few runs. New comers Jenn F, Dave M and Caitlin D made a big impact in the team's game plan with timely kicks and runs. There were appearances by Stephen Colbert, Randy Johnson and a water balloon launcher to spark some National Pride. Matt C was able to show up just in time to unnecessarily whip kickballs at opposing players, showcasing his dominance over the faint-hearted. - Andrew B.

PART IV: "I'm goin' down the river, down to New Orleans. They tell me everything is gonna be all right. But I don't know what all right even means" - Bob Dylan

Standings:

View full standings here: 

Schedule:

6:30PM

Diamond:
Legion of Doom v. Melon Farming Ninjas - Ref Boca Cabana

Grass:
Pecan Sandies v. Saved By The Balls - Ref Menace 2 Sobriety

7:15PM

Diamond 
Don't Come on My Base v. Boca Cabana - Ref Legion of Doom

Grass
Slim Kickins v. Menace 2 Sobriety - Ref Saved By The Balls 

PART V:"There is a house in New Orleans, they call the rising sun. It's been the ruin of many poor boy, and Lord God knows I'm one." - The Animals

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

SHOPPER'S CAFE: COME TO OUR LEAGUE BAR. IT'S AWESOME

PHOTOS: Please submit photos to make my droll prose look better. Pictures can be submitted here. Thanks as always to Tim for his continued contributions.

SUNLIGHT: Since we have passed the summer solstice, as we move deeper into July and August we will lose light. Please get to the field on time. 

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow the league on Twitter and Facebook. 

PART VI: "You'll never know, what heaven means until you've been down to New Orleans. You ain't been livin' till you cuddle and coo, With some black-eyed baby by de old bayou" - Elvis

The Master. (Now I need a margarita. Er, I mean a Hurricane)

Good luck and happy kicking,
- David, GMOT Editor