Ghost Man on Third: The Paint it Black Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"I'm just a kickball player, I suppose" - Avon Barksdale 

WEEK 7: Starry, starry night. Paint your palette blue and gray. Look out on a summer's day. With eyes that know the darkness in my soul. - Don McLean

Table of Contents: 

I: The colors children. The colors!
II: Paint the Town Red

III: Recaps

IV: Schedule and Standings

V: Announcements

VI: Color me bad

PART I: "We expected something, something better than before. We expected something more. Do you really think you can just put it in a safe behind a painting lock it up and leave? Do you really think you can just put it in a safe behind a painting lock it up and leave? Walk away now and you're gonna start a war." - The National

RIVALRY CHALLENGE WEEK DRAWING TWO TONIGHT (edit: FAIL)

After tonight's games, the drawing for rivalry challenge week will occur. This weighted lottery will determine the week 8 schedule. Be at the Boca Bar tonight to witness the greatest lottery ever (in the history of the MA Commonwealth division, that is). 

This is how it will work. In a weighted lottery, teams will have the number of beans in a jar that corresponds with their position in the standings (standings after tonight's games). 8th place team will have 8, 7th place team, 7 etc. A bean will be picked and that team will get to pick their opponent for week 8. The captain of the challenged team will select the time and field. We'll continue until all the match ups are filled. Umpires will be selected based on how the lottery works out. Then we will drink and the trash talking (and hopefully bean eating) will begin.  

PART II: I just got my paycheck.I'm gonna paint the whole town grey. Whether it's a night in Paris or a Fresno matinee." - Warren Zevon


END OF SEASON PARTY

When: Saturday, August 27th

Where: Hong Kong - Harvard Square

Time: 7-10pm 

Free for Registered WAKA Members. $5 for Guests!

For more information, check here. 

PART III:" Ya know I'd like to shave your head, and all my friends could paint it red. 'Cause love to me is a two way street, and all I really want is peace." - Guns N Roses

6:30 PM Games

Looking to Score 7 over WAKA Flocka Flame 2

LTS, no doubt inspired by their new Puma kicks, got off to a strong start versus WFF. Chris led off the game with a single and came around to score the first run on a Kramer triple. Kramer came in on a Jay P single to make it 2-0 after one inning. Jay K kicked a solo shot in the 2nd to make it 3-0.

The game’s biggest rally started in the 3rd due to Game MVP Leland and her one out triple. Chris singled her in and then Kramer brought him in on a double. Jay P’s second hit and second RBI of the day brought in Kramer to make it 6-0 after 3. Christian’s sac fly scored Mike C and made it 7-0. Lauren and Richard also had good days, both going 2 for 2 at the dish. 

BDO’s bid for a shutout was spoiled by a fourth inning moonshot by WFF. One more run in the last frame made the final 7-2. 

In the biggest turn around in kickball player history (there's gotta be a source for this somewhere), WAKA Flocka Flames' lovable player Clark, who has unfortunately been benched for most of the season due to an injury, scored a game-changing home run. Okay, perhaps it wasn't game changing, but it was pretty excellent to watch him circle all of the bases as fast as he possibly could given his injury, while Looking To Score continued to fumble with the ball. Because of this act of awesomeness, this weeks MVP goes to Clark. Another home run was scored by our MVP of last week - Johnny!
Jason of Last Team Standing and Ilana of Waka Flocka Flame contributed this report.

 

Ball Busters 4 over 99 Problems 3


In the battle of unbeatens, this was expected to be a defensive battle. Well, that thought went out the window when both teams scored three runs in the first. On our side it was Richie first. Tom scored on a sac fly next. Max plated the third run of the first by giving up the body and dry grass head first sliding into home. Let me tell you, from experience, that hurts!...so well done Maximus!

Patrick scored the Ball Busters fourth run (incidentally the winning run) in the third or fourth inning on Dan's sacrifice fly. In that same inning in the bottle half there was a strange play at third. It appears that Josh slide SO HARD into third that he was temporarily stuck on the base even though he was called out. It was truly strange. The umpire repeatedly told him that he was out, but he was just stuck, he couldn't get up, no matter how he tried, he just sat there. Finally, he was able to pry himself up and rejoin his team on the sidelines.

After the first inning, the Ball Busters clamped down and showed why they've been winning all season and started making defensive plays. Richie caught a fly out to right and then pegged one of 99s players in the dome as he was trying to dive back into first. Sliding means you can hit in the head and Richie could smell blood in the water.
In the bottom of the fifth Max threw in a relay to Tom and they were able to get one of 99s players out on a very close play at home plate to preserve the lead. Marty caught the final play of the game and now finally 99 Problems (Carescout) knows the agony of defeat!


Tom of Ball Busters contributed to this report.


7:15 Games

Ninja Awesomenauts 6 over Pitch Please! 3

NASA took to the skies in their beachwear with a galactic 6-3 victory over the gangsta'ed out Pitch Please squad. Nearly all of the Ninjanauts reached base, but it was Kenny Powers stunt double Rick who lead the charge with not one but two home runs. Andrew won our hearts with an amazing sliding catch, which lead his wife Kyla to say "Yeah, he does that all the time, you know, around the house." Hadley came off a one week hiatus with two big kicks and a run scored to earn the coveted spacesuit MVP award, which she proudly wore, despite the weather being hotter than the surface of Mercury. Also, as a special side note, this marked the first time in her kickball career that Jen did not slide or get injured. Huzzah!

Paul of NASA wrote this report


One Kick Wonders 5 over The Boston Kreamers 0 (Forfeit)

Unfortunately the Kreamers had a sad turn out. We only had 8 players. Props to the 2 girls that showed, Lauren D and Meghan S. We ultimately had to forfeit but played anyways. Even though the Kreamers were lacking in numbers, they were still boasting with talent. The Kreamers overcame the green team 7-0.

Meghan of The Boston Kreamers contributed this report.

PART IV:"I'll subtract pain by ounces.Yeah, I will start painting houses.If things come alive" - Interpol

Standings:

Schedule Week 7: Thursday, July 28

6:30 PM

Mud Dirt:The Boston Kreamers v. 99 Problems

Referees: Pitch Please!

Grass:  Ninja Awesomenauts v.Looking to Score 

Referees: WAKA Flocka Flame

7:15 PM

Mud  Dirt: Pitch Please! v. One Kick Wonders

Referees: 99 Problems 

Grass:  Ball Busters v.  WAKA Flocka Flame

Referees:Ninja Awesomenauts

Equipment:Ball Busters

PART V:"Brick Squad Waka Flocka Flame its fuckin on! I go hard in the muhfuckin paint " - Waka Flocka Flame (The Real One)  

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

SUNLIGHT: As we move deeper into July and August, the sun will start to become an issue at Lowell Playground. Teams and umpires participating in the 6:30 games please start on time or enforce the 15 minute rule (If a team doesn't have the requisite players, a forfeit will be called 15 minutes after the scheduled start.)  This is critical so the second games can be played in the best and safest lighting conditions.  


PHOTOS:  If you have anything to contribute to the GMOT, storys, poems, crude drawnings (emphasis on crude) pictures, please send them along to this address. We are always looking for any ideas. Sadly, no  Victorian softcore pornography allowed, even under the guise of vampire fiction.

TWITTER: Follow the league twitter account for all you twatters out there. Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division (including stuff about rivalry week) from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

BOCA BAR: With only a few more weeks left in our season, lets blow out the BOCA as thanks for their support throughout the year.  

WEATHER: Aw crap. I don't know.  

PART VI: "I see a red door and I want it painted black. No colors anymore I want them to turn black. I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes" - The Rolling Stones

Despite the resplendent colors of summer, the darkness of fall is coming. With that means many things. Kids go back to school. Football and eventually hockey. Old people return to Florida and young people return from vacation. 


For us, the gloaming of the playoffs are upon us. After tonight and next week's Rivalry Challenge week, the playoffs are upon us. The road to Immortal Kickball Glory is about to begin. For one team it will be painted gold. For the rest it will be stained with the tears of bitter defeat. One team will walk through the red door, for the rest it will be painted black.  

Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor

Ghost Man on Third: The Mailed In Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"You play in dirt. You get dirty" - Det. Jimmy McNulty 

WEEK 6: "I miss your kissin' and I miss your head. And a letter in your writing doesn't mean you're not dead. Run outside in the desert heat. Make your dress all wet and send it to me." - Pixies

Table of Contents: 

I: Cliff Claven's Favorite Edition
II: Postmaster General? More like Partymaster General

III: Recaps

IV: Schedule and Standings

V: Announcements

VI: Lick it and stick it. 

PART I: "I got a letter this morning, how do you reckon it read? "Oh, hurry, hurry, gal, you love is dead" - Son House

Here at the GMOT Fortress of Kickballitude, we get many, many inquires, both from the league and the public at large. So as a public service (with kickball) we dedicate one edition of the GMOT to answering the mail in the "HIGHLY ORIGINAL THIS HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE IN A BLOG OR NEWSLETTER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND AT LEAST ACCORDING TO ME" mailbag.

"We have 99 problems, but our pitch ain't one. What are some of our problems?" - Vickie B

In no apparent order here are some of your problems: Paul Lurie's mustache. Fear of Milk. Fear of Glaciers. Fear of Rubber Balls. You wish you were taller. You wish you were a baller. You wish you had a girl (or guy) and if you did you'd call'em. Getting ignored by the GMOT  in our twitter gag a few weeks ago. Dame Edna. Missing Matt Kelly. The debt crisis. The designated hitter. The idea of Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone. Paul Lurie's mustache's mustache. Not knowing what a chicken is.  Rooms with too much space. Claustrophobia. Rabid monkeys. Rabid rabbits. Robin Roberts host of ABC's Good Morning America. Elvis Presley being dead. Elvis Costello being alive. Elvis Grbac being retired. The Pope's hat (ecumenical). The Pope's hat (pornographic). The Third Amendment (Really?). Paul Lurie's mustache's mustache's goatee. Flip cup. Not colliding with teammates on routine pop ups. Having problems.

"Every year in the mailbag, you make fun of our name and it's reference to busting of balls. Will you stop?" - Tom C. 

No. You must be nuts. 

"Now that the NASA has launched the last STS mission, will they still make astronaut ice cream?" - Paul L 

Yes. According to the US Census, freeze dried food including the very delicious yet stryofoamy at first but then melts in your mouth yumness that is astronaut ice cream is a $5 billion US industry, which should not be hampered by temporary ending the STS program by NASA. However there is a surplus of TANG and promotional items from the documentary Deep Impact which was narrated by Tea Leoni and Morgan Freeman (man that guy can narrate anything) that the government has available.

"Our team name is the Boston Kreamers. Let's see you try to make some infantile crude joke out of that?" - Meghan S. - Boston Kreamers

I don't know. There don't seems to be any puns exploding forth from my potent mind. Perhaps I blew my load on the 99 problems question. 

Come on!

"Pitch Please!?" - Alison C-S.

These nuts are making me thirsty. 

"While we are new to the Waltham League, we've heard about this legendary award-winning newsletter, and that you our esteemed and only slightly not ugly editor is a fan of aptonyms, that is someone's name that describes their profession, thus being 'apt' (See Seinfeld's library cop named 'bookman' as the quintessential aptonym. Is WAKA Flocka Flame an aptonym?" - Ilana M-M. 

Why thank you for your flattery. However no amount of kind words will make WAKA Flocka Flame an aptonym. However it is a delightful, yet highly esoteric pun. Of course me being a cranky misanthropic old man, who doesn't recognize music past 1992 and is constantly keeping kids off my lawn, I had no idea of the pun until I did a Google search. (Lougle for those members of the league from the Hot Tub Time Machine dimension). However upon searching the interwebs, the real Waka Flocka Flame seems like a competent hip-pop artist, with just that hint of conformist rebellion that somewhere has Easy E snorting his own ashes. 

"So who mails it in more. You or Dan Shaughnessy?" - Jason K

The Curly Haired Boyfriend.I only mail it in once a season, and leap years. This guy hasn't written a real column since he published his first book. Thank Bog that this blog exists. Don't get me started on his appearance in the Bruins Stanley Cup Championship DVD. (Anger rising, rising, rising)The man sullied the reputation of Red Sox fans more than any drunk, pink hat or Yankee fan could ever imagine. It's really amazing how the USPS could be in debt with this guy around. (edit note: Geez, tell us how you really think)

"We are the One Kick Wonders. Where do we rank in terms of the World's Wonders?" - Jess H. 

It's interesting. There are three lists of "World Wonders" that I subscribe to. The 7 Ancient Wonders. The 7 Natural Wonders. And the 7 New Wonders. Honestly you guys don't make it anywhere close to that level. (Except maybe the Christ the Redeemer Statue in Brazil. I don't get why that's a 'Wonder' It's a big-ass statue, and while yes of an important figure in world history (regardless of any religious beliefs you may or may not have) it's just a big freakin' statue in a picturesque place. How is that an achievement of modern man, when we've been building statutes for millenia! Somewhere the Colossas of Rhodes and the Statue of Liberty are pissed off.)  That being said, I do think you guys are more awesome than the wonder bra, wonder bread, and noted magician and sandwich artist Tony Wonder. 

PART II: "The bus ride, I went to write this, 4:00 a.m. This letter. Fields of poppies, little pearls, all the boys and all the girls sweet-toothed each and every one a little scary. I said your name. I wore it like a badge of teenage film stars, hash bars, cherry mash and tinfoil tiaras, dreaming of Maria Callas. Whoever she is." - R.E.M.  

END OF SEASON PARTY

When: Saturday, August 27th

Where: Hong Kong - Harvard Square

Time: 7-10pm 

Free for Registered WAKA Members. $5 for Guests!

For more information, check here. 

PART III:"The hand that wrote this letter. Sweeps the pillow clean. So rest your head and read a treasured dream." - David Bowie

6:30 PM Games

Ball Busters 2 over Pitch Please! 1

In the second straight week, Ball Busters won a nail biter 2-1.  Unfortunately nothing very exciting happened during this instant classic.  Defense was the name of the game on this day.  Tom got on with a base hit in the first.  Max blooped one into right and Tom scored.  Max then scored somehow (I wasn't looking).  That was all the offense on our side.  We're very much like the Bruins, we get a lead and then like to cling to said lead by leaning on our defense. 

Tom C of Ball Busters contributed to this report.

Looking to Score 9 over One Kick Wonders 0

LTS broke out of a dry spell when its first five kickers all scored in the first.  Chris was driven in by Kramer and then BDO helped his own cause with a 3 run homer which scored Alina and Kramer.   Mike C got on base and scored on a base hit by Nick. Nick also turned a double play in the field in the first inning helping BDO preserve his shutout.

LTS made it 6-0 in the 2nd when Mike M came around to score.  In the fourth, Mike M scored again as did two others courtesy of RBIs from Courtney and Richard.  Unfortunately, Richard couldn't avoid his second collision of the year on a bang bang play at first base, as apparently he sees Buster Posey blocking home plate when he comes barreling down the line.

Special shout out to Julia who went 2 for 2 in her long awaited season debut. 

Jason of Looking to Score contributed the recap. Jess of One Kick Wonders contributed the photos. 

7:15 Games

Boston Kreamers 5 over WAKA Flocka Flame 0


Boston Kreamer MVP of the week goes to Ryan “Mr. Gloves” L for kicking a 3-run homerun bringing in Sean “The Boss” D and Patrick “Lurch” N.  We also had a few solid defensive plays from Craig “Mr. Papagiorigio” M and Laura S.  Also big shout out to Amy and Colleen for tearing up the dance floor during our flip cup match.

As for WAKA Flocka Flame, while WFF has still not won their first game, they are still hoping to bring the heat in the next few weeks (so watch out!). Johnny is this week's MVP for getting two of the opposing team's players out in one play. Go Johnny!

Meghan of Boston Kreamers and Ilana of WAKA Flocka Flame contributed tot his report. 

99 Pitches 3 over Ninja Awesomenauts 2

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  More the latter.  The most intense regular season game this league has seen, 99 Problems edged NASA 3-2 with a walk off bottom of the 5th run.  In a far cry from their previous blowout match ups in 2010, this was a defensive struggle, with each of the first four runs coming on sacrifice flies.  NASA Jen left it all on the field, including most of the skin on her right leg, which earned her the MVP spacesuit, mostly to cover up her grizzly looking wound.  Despite the loss, every one of the Awesomenauts lined up for high fives and nearly half of them remain optimistic for the future.    


Paul of NASA contributed to this report. 

PART IV: "Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane. Ain't got time to take a fast train. Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home, 'Cause my baby just a-wrote me a letter." - The Box Tops

Standings:

Schedule Week 6: Thursday, July 21

6:30 PM

Mud Dirt: Looking to Score v. WAKA Flocka Flame

Referees: Ninja Awesomenauts

Grass:  Ball Busters v.99 Problems 

Referees: The Boston Kreamers

7:15 PM

Mud  Dirt: Pitch Please! v. Ninja Awesomenauts

Referees: Looking to Score 

Grass:  One Kick Wonders v.  The Boston Kreamers

Referees:Ball Busters

Equipment:The Boston Kreamers

PART V: "Like a fool I went and stayed too long. Now I'm wondering if your love's still strong. Ooh, baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!" - Stevie Wonder

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

PHOTOS: Special Thanks to Jess of One Kick Wonder for last week's photos. If you have anything to contribute to the GMOT, storys, poems, crude drawnings, vampire fiction, pictures, please send them along to this address. We are always looking for new ideas. 


TWITTER: Follow the league twitter account for all you twatters out there. Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division (including stuff about rivalry week) from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

BOCA BAR: Last week's Boca Bar was awesome, with one of the longest flip cup games I've ever witnessed. Lets keep showing up and thanking Boca for our support for our league the past four years. 

WEATHER: Shhhhhhhhhh.Clear skies!  

PART VI: "Right now I can’t read too good. Don’t send me no more letters, no. Not unless you mail them from Desolation Row." - Bob Dylan

This mailman is on vacation. Put a stamp on it and see you next GMOT. 

Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor