Ghost Man on Third: Championship Week

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE MA COMMONWEALTH DIVISION

“Take your stinking paws off my kickball, you damned dirty ape!"

CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK “Here we come, walkin'.down the street. We get the funniest looks from Ev'ry one we meet. Hey, hey, we're the Monkees and people say we monkey around.” - The Monkees

Table of Contents:

I: The First Party Animal

II: Do the Evolution

III: Bedtime for Bonzo

IV:Orang-you-tan? Orang -ME!-tan

V: Schedule

V: Announcements

VI: I hate every Ape I see from Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z

PART I: “Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey. Brass Monkey - junkie.That funky Monkey. Got this dance that's more than real.Drink Brass Monkey - here's how you feel. Put your left leg down - your right leg up.Tilt your head back - let's finish the cup.” - The Beastie Boys

Two notes of (monkey) business.

First, tonight is Championship Night. All league members, friends, and hangers on are encouraged to attend to see who is crowned league champ. There will be trophies!

 Umpires are needed for all three games, so please anyone interested in hanging out and helping out please email me, or just show up.

With the playoffs wrapping up, in this the penultimate GMOT of the season, now is a perfect opportunity to plant the seed and whet your whistle for the End of Season Party. The date and time are still to be announced. Social Chair Jennie Levangie is working the phones looking for the best deal with working air conditioning for the end of season blowout. The budget for this party is quite large (hey, Tom can’t embezzle all of the entrance fee money, though he tries).

Hopefully we’ll have the 411 in the GMOT: LEAGUE WRAP UP EDITION... if not, Tom will be sending out a general email to the league. Stay tuned. You don’t want to miss it. It will be more fun that a barrel of monkeys.

PART II: “Well did God make man in a breath of holy fire. Or did he crawl on up out of the muck and mire. Well the man on the street believes what the bible tells him so. Well you can ask me, mister, because I know. Tell them soul-suckin' preachers to come on down and see, Part man, part monkey, baby that's me. “ - Bruce

In the on going quest for knowledge and truth, human beings must constantly deal with the word “bias.” nfortunately in the “shout at the top of your lungs, saying ridiculous things” news media age we live in, bias has become a dirty word. And not the fun kind of dirty, either. A basic truth in life is that every individual is biased, as our conclusions about life are based on previous influences, influences beyond our control, and influences that may be wrong, especially in the light of such things as facts. A friend of mine recently sent me a you tube clip of a kids being taught about evolution from a fundamentalist view point. Now, I fully support someone’s right to believe whatever they want, especially when it comes to matters of faith, God, etc. However, I draw the line when fact is willfully denied to prop up dogma. It’s dishonest, and no “faith” in the true sense of the word, should be based on dishonesty. (It’s such a lonely word.)

But what really angered me about the clip was they started to pick on monkeys. Monkeys are awesome. Probably the coolest animal on the planet after the rhinoceros and panda in my eyes. Not only that, any rock and roll band worth its salt has a song that is dedicated to, about, or mentions monkeys. I have no problem with modern apes being my evolutionary cousins, and having descended from a common ancestor. In fact, I’d probably prefer some chimps and baboons over some of my other, more human relatives.

Oh. And monkeys love kickball. Deny that! Now enough monkeying around and onto business.

PART III - ”Come on it’s such a joy. Come on, let's take it easy. Come on, let's take it easy.Take it easy, take it easy. Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.” - The Beatles

6:30pm Games:

Allen Club 4 over Ball Busters 4 (via tiebreaker)

Editor’s Note:

In bringing to you this weekly newsletter, I have strived to highlight the relevant rules and procedures that may come up. An oversight and failure on my part in explaining the over time rules, was to ignore the ending of a tie game with Rock Paper Scissors. To both teams, I apologize. (Division Tournament Rules can be found here).

I empathize, as not winning a game on a field of battle, but due to chance, feels wrong, and is wrong and objectionable in many levels. But it is in the rules, and without rules, Caddigan could be roaming the field pantsless. And I’m sure no one wants that. (Can I get a hell yeah, ladies?)

As for the game itself, it was quite a battle. Ball Busters jumped out to a 3-0 leading, only to see Allen Club

tie it on a two-out bases loaded double that landed square on the right field fair/foul cone. Truly a precise shot. Extra innings featured each team scoring a run, but alas time expired an the game was decided as Tom threw rock, and Joshua threw paper. Just like Michael and GOB Bluth, it didn’t make sense to them either.

As for the Ball Busters, “I was told by my mom that if you "don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"...I feel that pertinent since I'm employed by WAKA and cannot say what I'd like to.” said

Team Captain Tom C. “Since when does a piece of paper beat a rock? Let me throw a rock at said piece of paper and see who comes out on top!” His justifiable anger diffused by some beer and a horse tranquilizer, he went onto say “Good luck to Allen Club, I hope they win the whole darn thing!”

Regardless of the ending, it was a great season for Ball Busters. Congrats to Toni, Max, Erica, Elisabeth, Greg, Ilana, Jamie, Jennifer, John, Jennie, James, Kristy, David, Lindsay, Lisa, Mel, Mike, Richie, Amy, Tara, Tom and Yasmin for a helluva season.

Tom C. contributed to this report.

Looking to Score 12 over Wakademia Nuts 3

After barely surviving the 15 minute time limit due to lack of girls, looking to score came out looking to score early and often. In the top of the 1st inning chris led off with a triple and alina followed with an rbi single. Kramer, Forge, and BDO all followed with doubles plating 3 more runs, and Nick capped off the 5 run 1st inning with a rbi sacrifice fly. Looking to score added to the lead in the 2nd inning thanks to some very crafty and heads up base running by jeff who circled the bases thanks to successfully dodging the ball at every base and increasing the lead to 6-0. Looking to score really put the game out of reach by plating 6 in the top of the 5th thanks to vera's bunt single to lead off the inning, richards hustle with 2 outs to keep the inning going, and forge, who in his last at bat for looking to score, kicked a 3 run home run capped by a head first slide into home on the dirt. An all around great defensive effort helped looking to score solidify a place in the semifinals with a 12-3 victory.

As for the Wakademia Nuts, the record did not reflect the heart and teamwork they displayed throughout the season. They approached each game with total effort, and it was only execution which failed them, something of which they should not be ashamed. Congratulations to Andrew, Andrew, Anney, Carolyn, Caitlin, Cathy, Christina, David, Adam, Jon, Jon, Jonathan, Justin, Karen, Emil, Lauren, Maureen, Nick, Nicole, Millia Andrew, Teddy and Vikul for a season well played.

Ben K contributed to this report

PART IV: “If Man is 5...If Man is 5.If Man is 5. Then the Devil is 6.Then the Devil is 6. Then the Devil is 6.And if the Devil is 6.Then God is 7.Then God is 7.Then God is 7.This monkey's gone to heaven.” - Pixies

7:15 Games

Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 5 over Shenanigans 0

The Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas opened the playoffs by defeating the Shenanigans by a count of 5-0. Runs were scored by Paul (who took a two foot divot out of the ground on his slide into home), Anne Marie, Brandon, Ed and Jen. Shenanigan Jeff was pegged out steps from home plate, completing a Ninja inside joke from five weeks ago. No awards were given out as both recepients had left them at home, so let's just say the MVP went to team scorekeeper, equipment manager

and overall dad, Jason. Last weeks award winners Rob and Susan have both been stricken from the records book, a la Reggie Bush. Kudos to the Shenanigans, you all definitely came a long way since the first match up with the Ninjas. Looking forward to seeing you in 2011.

Captain Kelly’s crew fought valiantly, but alas came up short. Still, it was a remarkable season for the Shenanigans. Hearty congratulations go out to Alex, Ally, Laurie, Cat, Dan, Gabe, Jen, Juan, Kelly, Ryan, Matt, Olivia, O’Toole, Pat, David, Jad, Becca, Ryan, and Jeff.

Paul contributed to this report.

CareScout 5 over Kicked to the Curb 1

CareScout won their first playoff game 5-1. Great Pitching, Great Defense and a strong start on offense

helped them move to a second round of the playoffs. Deciding to bat1st, CareScout jumped out of the gate with 3 runs in the first, this would prove to be more than enough. The highlight of the game: 2 great catches by Dave P, one followed by an “Antoine walker” like shimmy!. Going the extra Mile, Matt K pitched a great game and scored 2 runs…most impressive was his tag up from second base on a long fly ball to right field. Finally Andrew B ended the game with an assassin kill shot at 3rd base.

After going down 3 runs in the first inning, KTTC managed to pick up a run in the top of the second. In the bottom of the second the Care Scouts were looking to pile on the runs with no outs and runners at 1st and

2nd. Then a routine infield fly to pitcher Matt B opened the door to the first triple play of the season, tagging the runner at between first and second and throwing for the force out at 2nd.

KTTC finally adopted the bunting strategy that it lacked for most of the season, but pitching from the Care Scouts seemed almost unhitable at times as each pitch bounced, spun, and turned while reaching the plate. Overall it was a dominant performance by Care Scouts even though KTTC put together a solid showing. Congratulations to Ben, Andrew, Anubha, Matt, Adam, Matt, Elias, Elaine, Daric, Jaclyn, Sarah, Andrew, Kelly, Ledum, Kristin, Philippe, Rehab and Jonathan.

Dave and Matt contributed to this report.

PART V:"Well, I hope we're not too messianic.Or a trifle too satanic. We love to play the blues. Well I am just a monkey man . I'm glad you are a monkey woman.” - The Rolling Stones

Schedule for Championship Week:

Thursday, July 29, 2010

6:30 pm - Semifinals

Diamond:

#1 CareScout v. #5 Allen Club

Grass:

#2 Looking to Score v. #3 Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas

Umpires for both games to be determined.

7:15 pm - Finals- Diamond

Diamond Game winner v. Grass Game winner.

PART VI: “Blonde haired, good lookin' tryin' to get me hooked. Wants me to marry, settle down and get a home and and write a book. Uh-uh, too much monkey business, too much monkey business.Too much monkey business for me to be involved in.Oh-ho-ho” - Elvis

Announcements, Announcements, Announcements:

BOCA BAR: Come say thank you to our league sponsors at the Boca Bar. Let’s blow it out tonight!

WEATHER: Despite the gloom of the morning, it looks like the weather will be okay for tonight. Show up to play. Like we always do.

SUNLIGHT: As we move closer to August, the amount of light we get will be less and less the closer we get to8pm. There is a 15 minute grace period. Any game that does not start within 15 minutes of the schedule start time will be a forfeit.

PART VII: - “Monkey driven. Call this living? Ha! Ah, too much thought it's overwrought a hole. Yeah, minding yours what's mine not yours.Will finish us off.” - Pearl Jam

The time for monkeyshines has come to pass. The banana has been peeled and now it’s time to eat. One team will be feasting. Three teams will join the rest of the league in flinging poo. It’s gonna be awesome. Don’t miss it and good luck to everyone!

- David, GMOT Editor, Team Shenanigans

Championship Week Schedule

Thursday, July 29, 2010

6:30 pm - Semifinals

Diamond:

#1 CareScout v. #5 Allen Club

Grass:

#2 Looking to Score v. #3 Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas

Umpires for both games to be determined.

7:15 pm - Finals

Diamond Game winner v. Grass Game winner.

Ghost Man on Third: Quarterfinals Week

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE MA COMMONWEALTH DIVISION

"Home of Sweaty Rubber Balls"

QUARTERFINALS WEEK: “Ooh, see the fire is sweepin' my very street today.Burns like a red coal carpet. Mad bull lost its way. War, children, it's just a shot away.It's just a shot away” - The Rolling Stones.

Table of Contents:

I: Kelvin and Hobbes

II: Seared into Your Melted Brain

III: Mercury Rising
IV: It’s a Dry Heat My Ass

V: Schedule and Standings

VI: Announcements

VII: I Got it Cheap Because Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit died (presumably of heat stroke) in it.

PART I:“White light, White light goin' messin' up my mind. White light, and don't you know its gonna make me go blind. White heat, aww white heat it tickle me down to my toes. White light, Ooo have mercy while I'll have it goodness knows” - Velvet Underground

It’s fitting that Mother Nature has decided to turn up the heat on us, so too has the thermostat on our league been turned up to 11. The playoffs are here, so as a primer let’s take a look at the first round matchups.

6:30pm Diamond

#2 Looking to Score v. #7 Wakademia Nuts

Looking to Score is not only looking to score, but are looking to defend their league title. The quest begins tonight against the tenacious Wakademia Nuts. Now while the Nuts are perhaps more known for their flip cup prowess, they have like many new teams, taken awhile to congeal, and pick up the finer points of all things kickballia. The last two weeks have shown promise, with a tie and a close loss to Shenanigans that featured a last at-bat rally that came up one run short. While Looking to Score are expecting of themselves to make it to Championship Week, Jason K’s group of seasoned warriors know not to look beyond the Nuts.

6:30pm Grass

#4 Ball Busters v. #5 Allen Club

This game is a rematch from last year’s playoffs, when Ball Busters upset a higher seeded Allen Club squad in a riveting back and forth game. The Ball Busters season has been like Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh of Bull Durham fame, “sorta all over the place” with big wins, small wins, small losses and big losses. This team has been there before, and if firing on all cylinders could easily win the league. They also could be upset by a defense first Allen Club, which has recently seem to have found it’s offensive game. Can Allen Club deliver an upset, like a piping hot pizza, or will they be the slice you find stuck in the couch cushions when you move from your college dorm?

7:15pm Diamond

#1 CareScout v. #8 Kicked to the Curb

The gray clad warriors of Kicked to to the Curb have had the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitie plate of a season, with one win, three losses, one tie and two forfeits. Despite being underdogs by records, they have shown flashes of coming together as a team. Standing in their way is the formidable Care Scout. Not only do they help the elderly, but the played start to finish with timely hitting, and Bastogne like pitching and defense. They can be beat, as their hiccup against the Allen Club demonstrated, but any victory against Care Scout will be earned.

#3 Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas v. #6 Shenanigans

Don’t let the odd formations, costumes and accessories fool you. The Ninjas know how to play kickball, and

with experienced leadership, can win this league. However their first round game will not be a cakewalk, as they face Shenanigans. Despite a Heckle and Jyde season, Shenanigans has been strong defensively throughout, and offensively has been coming on of late. In the head to head matchup, the Ninjas managed a hard fought 3-1 victory. If both teams bring their A games, you could see another tight battle.

PART II "Just a little heat, Now on this cold day, You know it would take my, Worry away, worry away, ahh, It's in my head, I can't let go, No matter what you said, 'Cause I...already know, Leavin' this place, 'Cause you, you've got it written, All over your face” - The Black Keys

Since it is the playoffs, here are some important things to keep in mind.

- Since extra innings are a possibility, it is imperative that games start on time in order to ensure sunlight. Game times are 6:30 and 7:15. The 15 minute grace period will be strictly enforced. Failure to start games by 6:45 and 7:30 at the latest will result in one or two forfeits and thus elimination from the playoffs.

- If teams move into extra innings, teams are limited to 8 defenders on the field (4 males, 4 females.) Also the kicking team will have the last kicker from the previous inning as a runner on second base. As an example, Ball Busters faces Shenanigans. The score is tied 5-5 after the bottom of the 5th. Ball Busters kicks first, so Tom, who was the last kicker in the

top of the 5th goes to second base. Shenanigans sends out a defense of 4 males, 4 females. And we proceed from there.

- Teams with the higher seed get to choose whether they are the home or away team. There is no paper rock scissors.

- Only paid league members are allowed to play in the playoff games. Rosters will be brought and ID checks maybe made to ensure the integrity of the playoffs. If there is any question of someone’s eligibility, captains must bring it up with the Head Umpire for each game or Tom.

- Everyone is reminded to play with courtesy and sportsmanship. Please only Captains or Co-Captains are allowed to discuss decisions with the umpire. All decisions are final and there are no appeals.

- There is a mercy rule. Any team leading by 12 runs after the third inning, or completetion of any whole inning thereafter wins.

- Metal cleats are strictly forbidden. Plastic cleats only.

Thank you and Good Luck!

PART III “Jack Knife cries 'cause baby's in a bundle.She goes running nightly, lightly through the jungle. And them tin cans are explodin' out in the ninety-degree heat. Cat somehow lost his baby down on Bleecker Street. It's sad but it sure is true.Cat shrugs his shoulders, sits back and sighs. OOh, what can I do, ooh, what can I do?” - Bruce Springsteen

6:30 PM Games

Allen Club 9 over CareScout 1

Under a no forfeit gentlemen’s agreement, an undermanned Allen Club took it to a Care Scout team that had already clinched the regular season title.

Looking To Score 9 over BallBusters 5

LTS got on the board early in their final regular season tuneup plating two runs in the top of the first thanks to Kramer driving in Chris T and Nick booting Kramer home with a single. The bottom of the first saw some Adventures in Outfielding take place and our esteemed commissioner took advantage with a 3-run bomb to give BallBusters an early 3-2 lead.

Some aggressive baserunning by BDO tied the score in the Top of the 2nd when he came around to score from second base on Richard's bunt. The 3rd inning saw LTS get some separation when Chris T kicked a 2 run double scoring Jay K and Forge. 2 kickers later, Kramer continued his hot streak at the dish with a 2 run home run. Two more insurance runs were pushed across in the fifth after Jay K doubled in Jen and Forge doubled in Jay K.

Jason contributed to this report.

PART IV “The temperature is rising. The fever white hot. Mister, I ain't got nothing. But it's more than you got.” - U2

Shenanigans 3 over Wakademia Nuts 2

With both teams jockeying for playoff positioning, and looking to enter the second season on a strong note,Shenanigans and Wakademia Nuts battled in what turned out to be a very interesting game. Based on great base by Kelly, Jeff and O’Toole, a timely RBI by Jad, and strong defense by Scott, Lambert and Gabe, with good outfielding by Aly, the Shenanigans built a 3-0 lead headning into the top of the 5th.

The Nuts, who had been frustrated by the Shenanigans defense, started a rally with a valiant effort by all, and runs by C. Murphy and K. Lubov, cut the Shenanigans lead to 1. Yet, the rally came up just short, but was definitely a positive going into the playoffs.

Jon and Kelly contributed to this report.

Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 5 over Kicked to the Curb 1

There was a game, music was played, and stuff happened. Ninjas scored runs on various kicks and sacrifices. The Ninjas gave up one run on a mis-executed secret play which lead to our right fielder Dave pegging our own second baseman, Ed in the back. Good times. Rob earned the medallion of strength for getting a kicker to strike out looking and also scoring his first run of the season. Susan came away with the sword of honor, for running out the kick despite being beaned in her upper neck and shoulder, aka her face.

Despite the bad blood from the “beaning” incident, Kicked to the Curb battled hard, getting the juices fired up for the playoffs and more good times.

Speaking of good times, did anyone see that gigantic game of flip cup in the bar? Jeez. I've never seen one side of the table lose 24 times in a row before. (edit note. I was on the winning side.)

PART V: “And I'm a heatseeker charging up the sky. And I'm a heatseeker, and I, I don't need no life preserver. I don't need no one to hose me down. To hose me down. Getting ready to break. Getting ready to go. Get your shoes off and shake. Get your head down and blow.” - AC/DC

Regular Season Final Standings: 

(W, L, T, F Winning Percentage, Runs Allowed, Runs Scored)

Care Scout	7	1	0	0	.88%	21	42
Looking to Score	6	2	0	0	.75%	20	38
Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas	6	2	0	0	.75%	22	37
Ball Busters	4	4	0	0	.50%	29	52
Allen Club	3	2	2	1	.41%	30	31
Shenanigans	3	5	0	0	.38%	30	21
Wakademia Nuts	0	7	1	0	.06%	55	22
Kicked to the Curb	1	3	1	2	.00%	59	22

6:30pm

Diamond:

#2 Looking to Score v. #7 Wakademia Nuts

Umps. Kicked to the Curb

Grass:

# 4 Ball Busters v. #5 Allen Club

Umps: Shenanigans

7:15pm

Diamond

#1 Care Scout v. #8 Kicked to the Curb

Umps: Allen Club

Grass:

#3 Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas v. #6 Shenanigans

Umps: Wakademia Nuts

PART VI:“I use public toilets and piss on the seat,I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?" - Denis Leary

Announcements, Announcements, Announcements:

BOCA BAR: If your season comes to an end tonight, don’t worry the Boca Bar is here to comfort you. If your season continues, what better place to celebrate than the Boca Bar. Be there.

END OF SEASON PARTY: Information coming soon. We have a huge budget, so it will be awesome.

WEATHER: Let’s Get it On. (In that platonic kickball way)

SUNLIGHT: As we move closer to August, the amount of light we get will be less and less the closer we get to 8pm. There is a 15 minute grace period. Any game that does not start within 15 minutes of the schedule start time will be a forfeit.

PART VII: “Lord almighty.I feel my temperature rising.Higher, higher.It's burning through to my soul. Girl, girl, girl.You gonna set me on fire.My brain is flaming. I don't know which way to go, yeah. Your kisses lift me higher. Like the sweet song of a choir. And you light my morning sky with burning love.” - Elvis

Now while we do not know what the fate of our immortals souls will be when we shuffle off this mortal coil, whether it is some idyllic Elysian Kickball field, or broiling inferno lacking where Air Supply is blasted 24/7, the fate of our summer kickball season will be determined in the next few weeks. As the heat and humid descends upon us in the Northeast (safety tip, never stand in a NYC subway station when it’s 90 degrees and 40% humidity, unless you being braised alive and smelling of your own au jus for a week.) one team will be freed from the oppression and bathe themselves in the cool refreshing waters of victory. The others will be soaked in the sweat of defeat, left to nurse their wounds and beers for another season.

Whatever happens, let us all have fun, be friends, and celebrate the winners and losers. Though we'll  celebrate the winners a little more.

Good luck to everyone!

- David, GMOT Editor, Team Shenanigans

Playoffs: Quarterfinal Week Schedule

Quarterfinals Week

6:30pm

Diamond: 

#2 Looking to Score v. #7 Wakademia Nuts

Umps. Kicked to the Curb

Grass:
# 4 Ball Busters v. #5 Allen Club

Umps: Shenanigans

7:15pm

Diamond 

#1 Care Scout v. #8 Kicked to the Curb

Umps: Allen Club

Grass: 

#3 Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas v. #6 Shenanigans

Umps: Wakademia Nuts

Ghost Man on Third: Regular Season Finale

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE MA COMMONWEALTH DIVISION
"It's Kickball Time"

 

THE REGULAR SEASON FINALE WEEK: "Rancourt's ready, it's time to take to the ice So tie down the jersey 'cause it could get ugly tonight, top corner, five hole, off the post and in, on a quest for the cup, and we're ready to win." - Dropkick Murphy's
 

Table of Contents:

I: Tempus Fugit...Mmmm Sweet Gooey Fugit
II: Tick
III: Tock
IV: Schedule and Standings
V: Announcements
VI: It’s On Your Side. Yes It Is

PART I: "I buy you champagne and roses and diamonds on your finger Still you hang out all night what am I to do? My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time." - Eddie Murphy

By all accounts, the 3/4th season party was a success. Stay tuned to the GMOT for information about our end of season party, which I guarantee will happen around the end of the season.

Below are one person’s renderings of what transpired.

Dancing

Flip Cup

Self-Explanatory

Part II: "The next time you say forever, I will punch you in your face, just because you don't believe it, doesn't mean I didn't mean it . You never know when I'll show you the never." - Neko Case 

6:30pm Games:

Ball Busters 19 over Kicked to the Curb 0

Ouch. What can be said about a rout? Apparently a lot. In what is the biggest margin of victory in MA Commonwealth league history, Ball Busters thumped a minimally manned, yet valiant Kicked to the Curb. For the Busters, everything went according to plan. Jamie, Jimmy and Max launched bombs. Adam, Tara (2),Tom (2),Jamie (2),Erica, Max (2), Lizzay, Richie, Lindsay, Jimmy(2), Ilana (2),Kristy, and Greg all scored. Yet the play of the game was not on offense, but made by Jennie on defense. Faced with a fly ball in her direction, she tossed her sunglasses aside, with blatant disregard for their UV ray protection AND style, in order to make an outstanding catch. Why? "They were new, and I didn’t want to break them." she said with the air of supreme confidence.

As for Kicked to the Curb, their pride was rightfully wounded."Ball Busters lived up to their name and reputation." said captain Matt B. "Perhaps they are trying to compensate for something..." If only a rematch could be set up, as it could get very interesting.

Tom and Matt contributed to this report.

Wakademia Nuts ties Allen Club 6-6

The journey of one thousand miles begins with a single step. For the Nuts, the tiniest of baby steps has been made, as finally a week passes and they do not hang another peg in the loss column. With runs scored by husband and wife team N. Joseph & A. Joseph, also A. Kiehling, N. Cuomo, J. Burns and M. George, they finally got a point. Now they set their sights on Shenanigans and the epic story of rising from the winless ashes to claim the league title. And this cluster of nuts, just may be able to pull it off.

Jon B contributed to this report.


PART IV: "A lotta people won’t get no supper tonight. A lotta people won’t get no justice tonight. The battle is getting harder. In this iration, Armagieon time" - The Clash
7:15 Games

Looking to Score 6 over Shenanigans 3

At the start of Thursday's clash it looked like LTS was going to be rolling with a bare bones lineup 

but shortly after the Top of the 1st began, BDO and his entourage arrived. LTS pushed one across in the top of the 1st when Nick came through with a clutch two out boot that scored Kramer. Shenanigans came right out of the gate and pressured LTS's defense in the bottom of the inning as they plated 3 runs, and could have had more, as they left them loaded but still enjoyed a 3-1 lead into the 2nd inning. LTS got one back in the 2nd when Chris T's double brought BDO around to score. The Little General entered as a defensive supersub in the 3rd and made

not one but two catches in left field off ricochets all while battling a wicked sun. Beth, in a breakout game for her, came up with a big catch in rightfield as well. Richard also chipped in on the defensive effort for LTS too playing an unconventional style where he'd catch and peg instead of simply standing on the damn bag.

These defensive contributions kept the game within reach and in the top of the 4th Kramer's two run double with two outs brought in Beth and the General, giving LTS a 4-3 lead heading into the last inning. BDO bought himself some insurance runs with a big two-run double in the Top of the 5th that scored Burns and Jeff who had each singled earlier in the inning.

Jason K contributed to this report

CareScout 9 over Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 1
 

In a billed to be thrilling match up that barely delivered, Carescout took down the Ninjas 9-1 and secured the regular season championship. The Scouters reacted to every single run like they won the championship, despite not actually ever knowing how many outs there were in the inning. (There were two...). The Ninjas will look back fondly on the first half of the first inning when they were leading 1-0 and selectively forget the rest, aside from the two amazing peg outs at home plate, preventing an even bigger rout. For those plays, Captain Paul took home his second Medallion MVP. For an awesome lead off bunt double which lead to the Ninjas only run, Nick took home the sword of honor. Thanks to the members of Last Team Standing who cheered us on to the bitter end.

Memo to the entire league: The last time the Ninjas lost, they won the next five games in a row. Assuming this trend continues, the Ninjas will win the championship and the first two games next season, so suck it everyone else. Captain Paul contributed to this pre-emptive 2010-11 smack talk.

Paul contributed to this report.


PART V: "Clock is still ticking. Why don`t you listen?. Ain`t got the time that you had yesterday. Can`t be so blind, way out of line. Thinking the world wants to hear what you say?" - Motorhead (Damn, I can't find the umlauts)

Standings after 7 Weeks:

(Win, Loss, Tie, Forfeit, Winning Percentage, Runs Allowed, Runs Scored)

Care Scout 7 0 0 0 1.00% 12 41
Looking to Score 5 2 0 0 0.71% 15 29 

Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 5 2 0 0 0.71% 21 33 

Ball Busters 4 3 0 0 0.57% 20 47 

Allen Club 2 2 2 1 0.32% 29 22 

Shenanigans 2 5 0 0 0.29% 28 19 

Wakademia Nuts 0 6 1 0 0.07% 52 20 

Kicked to the Curb 1 3 1 2 0.00% 54 21

Week 8 Schedule:

6:30pm

Diamond:
Care Scout v. Allen Club
Umps - Wakademia Nuts
 

Grass:
Ball Busters v. Looking to Score
Umps - Wicked Awesome Helicopther Ninjas

7:15pm

Diamond:
Wakademia Nuts v. Shenanigans
Umps - Allen Club

Grass:
Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas v. Kicked to the Curb
Umps - Ball Busters


PART VI: "Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this test, and don't ask why. It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time." - Green Day

Announcements, Announcements, Announcements:


PLAYOFFS: A Playoff Guide is available in last week's GMOT. Information about next week's schedule will be emailed and posted here on Friday, 7/16. 

BOCA BAR: Last Regular Season Week at the Boca Bar. Let’s Blow It Out. (Safely and Legally of course).

END OF SEASON PARTY: Stay tuned for information about the end of season party. It will be cool(er) and as face melty at the same time.

WEATHER: Looks okay. Yes? No? Maybe? Awww fuck it. Show up like we always do.

SUNLIGHT: As we move closer to August, the amount of light we get will be less and less the closer we get to 8pm. There is a 15 minute grace period. Any game that does not start within 15 minutes of the schedule start time will be a forfeit.



PART VII: "Haven't seen you for quite a while. I was down the hole just killing time. Last time we met was a low-lit room. We were as close together as a bride and groom. We ate the food, we drank the wine. Everybody having a good time. Except you. You were talking about the end of the world." - U2

While generally I am a card-carying Procrastinatarian, there is one fact that I always keeps my Procrastinatarianism from becoming barricade manning militant, (If you know, when we get to starting the revolution...crap Top Chef is on, I'll be back.) the unavoidable fact that time is a finite commodity. From the moment our life begins, our years, days, minutes, seconds are numbered, whether by fate, external forces, or the simple fallibility of our human bodies, time is off the essence and eventually all time will pass, much like gas.

The clock stops on the regular season tonight. Playoff seeding will be set, and the real season will begin. Even though CareScout has clinched the regular season title, there is still some crucial games for the final standings. And this is anybody’s league considered the regular season champ the past two seasons has lost in the playoffs. Though for the teams in the bottom half of the league who wish to upset the top half overlords need to come together quickly. The end of the artificial kickball world is at hand, (and I feel fine).

- David, GMOT Editor, Team Shenanigans