Ghost Man on Third: The Newspaper Edition, Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"The pond is shrinking, the fish are nervous.Win a kickball game and maybe find a bigger pond." - Gus Haynes

WEEK 3: "Good Morning, here's the news, and all of it is good. Good evening here's the news,and all the news is good. And the weather's good." - Carbon/Silicon 

Table of Contents:
I: Stop the Presses!
II: The Thirst Amendment 

III:Schedule and Standings

IV: Announcements

V: Citation Needed

PART I: "Read about the things that happen throughout the world. Don't be believe in everything you see or hear. The neighbours talk day in day out about the goings on They tell us what they want - they don't give an inch." - The Jam

In the age of Twitter, which is a very useful and revolutionary service, (and you should all sign up for this league's Twitter feed, @macommonwealth) there is a tendency to value speed of news, over the veracity of what is tweeted. In some cases that is fine, like when a celebrity is tweeting that he just took his morning poo, then we don't really need verification. (Eww). But with chaotic events like popular uprisings in oppressive regimes, or mad crazy kickball games, rumors and wild speculation flung about in shameless attempts to be "FIRST" in reporting something, obscures the truth from which we can all learn. 

The kickball world is just the same as the real world. Truth is often obscured by speculation and rumor. Since this is a newsletter and not a twitter feed, here are some of the "rumors" that have been floating around the twitterverse and the truths behind them.

Rumor: The Ninja Aeronautical Space Awesomenauts are all former astronauts or extras from the movie "Space Cowboys" with one team member being a stand in for Donald Sutherland's butt.

Truth: One team member did win a 'Space Policy Advocate of the Year Award' but none have actually been in space or naked with Donald Sutherland. (Insert your own juvenile "Uranus" joke here).

Rumor: The WAKA Flocka Flame team is actually a team of clones of Juaquin Malphurs all genetically altered to as to appear as different people. But when the time is right according to an ancient prophesy, they will  all come together to form a giant version of the American rapper to rule us all. 

Truth: I have no idea. I just wikipedia'd the guy two seconds ago. (citation needed). I thought the team name was some kind of strange homage to Fozzie Bear if he were some sort of gay icon.

Rumor: One Kick Wonders were all members of the Rockettes. 

Truth: No. But they were all injured while auditioning for Spider Man: Turn Off the Suck Dark.

Rumor: The Boston Kreamers are former owners of the now defunct Massachusetts Krispy Kreme donut franchises.

Truth: No one on this team makes decent coffee, and they are all covered in some sort of sticky glaze, so this could actually be true. Pending. 

Rumor: Looking to Score once scored.
Truth: Nope they are all still looking.

Rumor: Pitch Please! has a strange fetish for exclamation points and other weird punctuation like hash tags, amerpsands and Megan Fox.

Truth: Their name is actually just a pun on the popular phrase, "Bitch, Please!" and the exclamation point is pointing this out. Now make me a sandwich. 

Rumor: The Ball Busters are actually a travelling group of rodeo clowns, only for little people rodeos, where the contestants ride sheep, in the popular sport known as Mutton Bustin. 

Truth: This is 100% true. Have you seen Tom Caddigan? Man was born to bust mutton. 

PART II: "I heard the news today, oh boy." - The Beatles

Holy crap! It's gonna be nice today and we'll actually play games.

Holy holy crap crap! It's time for the Mid Season Party. 

This annual bacchanalia of Kickabrigian awesomeness will take place on 

Saturday June 9th 7:30 PM-10:30pm
Union Street Restaurant 
170R Union Street
Newton, MA


All are welcome! Awesomeness will be had.

PART III: "Hey, Mr. Reporter,Don't you twist my words around.I'll kill you, I won't let you,Distort my simple sound." - The Kinks

Standings:

Schedule Week 3: Thursday, June 30

6:30 PM

Mud Dirt: Ninja Awesomenauts v. Ball Busters

Referees: The Boston Kreamers

Grass:  One Kick Wonders v. WAKA Flocka Flame

Referees: Pitch Please!

7:15 PM

Mud  Dirt: Looking to Score v. The Boston Kreamers
Referees: Ball Busters

Grass:  99 Problems v. Pitch Please!

Referees:One Kick Wonders

Equipment:Pitch Please!

PART IV: "You be rippin' off the kids. While they be payin' their hard earned money to read about the bands. They want to know about. Printin' lies startin' controversy. You wanta antagonize me. Antagonize me m##########. Get in the ring m##########!" - Guns N Roses 

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

IN THE NEWS: Wicked Local Waltham featured our very own humble kickball league in last week's edition. Read all about it here. The Main Stream Media Hearts the MA Commonwealth Division. 


RIVALRY WEEK: Read here for the latest on "Rivalry Week' this year's attempt to make that awkward week where you play a team you already played fun and exciting. And do you know where I found out about this?...

TWITTER: Yup. Follow the league twitter account for all you twatters out there. Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division (including stuff about rivalry week) from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

BOCA BAR: Wet your whistle at our league sponsor. And try the plaintains! And remember always drink responsibly and unless you can afford it, keep the tab under $156K

WEATHER: All systems GO! 


PART IV: "Did you see my photograph.It was on page ten. I swore to everyone. I'm not to blame. I turned around and saw him hit the ground. A little earlier it was a game. I'm so disposable. You can throw me away. I don't like to read the news.D'you know anything I'm going through" - Talk Talk

The newspaper industry is struggling as the democratization of news dissemination has offered stiff competition. One tactic many papers have used is to try and win awards, often glossing up coverage, focusing on the Dickensian aspect of issues, and ignoring reality just to whore themselves out for a Pulitzer. 


Well now is the time in the kickball season to do the same. Immortal Kickball Glory is only a few weeks away, and as we dust off the must, mud and mold from our rain outs, every team must come together and make copy before the deadline of the season hits. The kickball pond is shrinking. The fish are getting nervous. It is time to sink or swim!

Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor

Ghost Man on Third: The Hup Two Three Four Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iccccccccccccccccckkkkkk" - Sen. Clay Davis

WEEK 3: He said, "Will you defeat them. Your demons and all the non-believers. 

The plans that they have made? Because one day, I'll leave you A phantom to lead you in the summer to join the Black Parade" - My Chemical Romance

Table of Contents:
I: All the Little Brads Go March-and
II: No Rusty Trombones Here 

III:Schedule and Standings

IV: Announcements

V: One Time in Band Camp


PART I: "We're marching from the shipyards. We're marching from the hospitals. We'll take it to the town hall. We'll take it to the capitol." - Pretty Girls Make Graves

Since I'm still in Stanley Cup Hangover mode (did that really happen?) I don't have an opening tirade, since I have nothing to tirade about (or about which to tirade, for your grammar-fascists) This does a lot to help one's disposition. 

PART II: "The Soft Parade has now begun. Listen to the engines hum. People out to have some fun. A cobra on my left. Leopard on my right, yeah." - The Doors

6:30 Games:

99 Problems 10 over One Kick Wonders 2

Mark M. had a solo HR, Drew B had a 2 run HR and a triple. Elyssa B. had 2 runs and 2 RBIS. Josh C, Dave P, Erin M, Mike L, Stacy L, also scored. Mark M and Alex were great on defense. And yet again, strong pitching efforts by Dave P. 

Vickie contributed to this report

The Boston Kreamers 5 over Pitch Please! 2

Pitch Please took an early lead scoring a run in the first inning. Once the pressure was on, the Boston Kreamers rallied back scoring 3 runs in the bottom of the 3rd. Craig M (Mr. Papagiorgio) held a tight defense as the starting and closing pitcher, and the Kreamers enjoyed their first victory. 

Meghan contributed to this report

7:15 Games:

Ninja Awesomenauts 14 over Waka Flocka Flames 6

Marking the second week working together, the Ninjapollo crew wrapped up a week of various maintenance tasks, science experiments and drills during the June 16 mission against Waka Flocka Flame. To prepare for the new league rival, the currently docked NASA' large kicking engines were used to reboost the station's productivity. The move increases the number of thrusting opportunities in the first inning, bringing a new high of 8 Awesomenauts to home base in the very first inning of play.
It seems the entire team put forth a good effort, getting runs on the board in mass numbers, but the Flames battled back, pushing the NASA core shields to the brink before running out of steam. Kudos to you, maroon warriors, we shall see you another time. Kyla rocked the MVP space suit for her mutliple base hits, crafty manuevering on the basepath and heated comments on the sideline. The sword of honor went to Rick, who was able to turn back to back at bats into a soft bunt single followed by a shooting star of a home run.

As for Waka Flocka Flame, they  brought the heat this week scoring 6 runs against NASA. Although they didn't win the game, they did have some killer body paint including a very realistic fire breathing dragon (so realistic, in fact, that it is rumored that small children ran and hid in fear). This week's MVP goes to Jenny who managed to kick the ball into "outer space" getting her a home run and sending the Astronauts running (or flying?). The Flames also now holds the title of having “the biggest fake-out in kickball history” (as long as you don’t ask for a source quoting that). We would give you more details, but where’s the strategy in that? Overall, WAKA Flocka Flame continues to heat up both the field and bar with their ridiculously good looking players and extraordinary beer drinking skills.

Paul and Ilana contributed to this report

Ball Busters 4 over Looking to Score 2

It was a pitchers duel for most of the day. Through four innings we were only able to push one across (that being Jordan) and trailed 2-1 going into the fifth. With Richie on first Tom kicked a homerun. Max tacked on an insurance run for the busters and we shut them down in the fifth thanks to a nice defensive play by Lindsey.

Tom contributed to this report

PART III: "Evrywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy. Cause summers here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy." - The Rolling Stones

Standings:

Schedule Week 3: Thursday, June 23

6:30 PM

Mud: Ninja Awesomenauts v. Ball Busters

Referees: The Boston Kreamers

Grass:  One Kick Wonders v. WAKA Flocka Flame

Referees: Pitch Please!

7:15 PM

Mud: Looking to Score v. The Boston Kreamers
Referees: Ball Busters

Grass:  99 Problems v. Pitch Please!

Referees:One Kick Wonders

Equipment:Pitch Please!

PART IV: "And all the little ants are marching. Red and black antennas waving.They all do it the same. They all do it the same way" - Dave Matthews Band 
Announcements, Announcements Announcements

RIVALRY WEEK: Read here for the latest on "Rivalry Week' this year's attempt to make that awkward week where you play a team you already played fun and exciting. And do you know where I found out about this?...

TWITTER: Yup. Follow the league twitter account for all you twatters out there. Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division (including stuff about rivalry week) from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

BOCA BAR: Wet your whistle at our league sponsor. And try the plaintains! And remember always drink responsibly and unless you can afford it, keep the tab under $156K

WEATHER: Maybe rain. Maybe nice. Stay tuned to your email and twitter for the latest weather updates


PART IV: "Though I will never fade. Or get lost in this daze. Though I will disappear. Into the street parade." - The Clash

Victory is achieved one step at a time. But we cannot march to our own beat. Winning can only be achieved as a team (or if you are Charlie Sheen through copious amounts of mind altering drugs, an avalanche of porn stars, millions of dollars, and no shred of dignity) working together in harmony. Though the route may be long, and not cordoned off nicely by members of the Boston Police department, victory is only a march together away. 

Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor

Ghost Man on Third: The Stanley Cup Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"You come at the king, you best not miss." - Omar Little

WEEK 2 (For Real): "Old-time hockey, bar the door, Clear the track it's all-out war

Light the lamp, throw a hit, Black and gold never quit." - Dropkick Murphy's

Table of Contents:
I: Don't Stop Til You Bergeron
II: Schedule and Standings

III: Announcements

IV: STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS


PART I: "I'll ride the wave, to where it takes me. I'll hold the pain. Release me" - Pearl Jam

Nothing to say this week. No games due to rain. Everything remains the same. Oh yeah, except for this. 

As a ten year season ticket holder to the Bruins and a life long fan I am in such a state of utter bliss, joy, and exhaustion, all my words have been transformed into silver chalice shaped particles of energy and light. YEAH! (Andrew Ference, where's your hat?)

PART II: "And the Stanley Cup is all filled up, for the champs who win the drink. Now the final flick of a hockey stick, and the one gigantic scream: "The puck is in" - The BRUINS win. The good old hockey game!" - Stompin Tom Connors

Standings:

Schedule: Thursday, June 16

6:30 PM

Dirt: 99 Problems v. One Kick Wonders 

Referees: Looking to Score

Grass: The Boston Kreamers v. Pitch Please!

Referees: WAKA Flocka Flame


7:15 PM

Dirt: Looking to Score v. Ball Busters
Referees: One Kick Wonders

Grass:  WAKA Flocka Flame v. Ninja Awesomenauts

Referees:The Boston Kreamers

Equipment:Ninja Awesomenauts

PART III: I waited patiently for the Lord (Stanley). He inclined and heard my cry. He lift me up out of the pit out of the miry clay. I will sing, sing a new song." - U2 

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

TWITTER: Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

SHIRTS: All the shirts are in. You can pick them up tonight from your Captains.

BOCA BAR: Remember to join everyone tonight post game at our league sponsor The Boca Bar.

WEATHER: Weather good. Kickball fun. Go Bruins!

ALCOHOL: Reminder, no alcohol is allowed at Lowell Playground. (Won't somebody please think of the children!) Anyone caught with booze by us will be asked to leave. Anyone caught by booze by the police will face those issues, and our permits will be revoked. Be safe. Be smart.


PART IV: "I've seen a lot of sights and traveled many miles. Shook a thousand hands and seen my share of smiles. I've caused some great concern and told one too many lies. And now I see the world through these sad, old, jaded eyes

So what if I threw a party and all my friends were there?. Acquaintances, relatives, the girls who never cared. You'll have a host of rowdy hooligans in a big line out the door. Side by side with Sister Barbara, Chief Wells and Bobby Orr!" - Dropkick Murphys

Win as a team. Lose as a team. Work as a team. Play as a team. Have fun as a team and in the end have a big effing party. True for hockey. True for kickball. True for life!

WOO!

Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor

Ghost Man on Third: The Edition with Teeth

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"Just a humble little playground game, with a big ass ball." - Bunk Moreland

WEEK 2: "She comes along. She gets inside. She makes you better than anything you've tried. It's in her kiss. The blackest sea. And it runs deeper than you. Dare to dream it could be. With teeth. " - Nine Inch Nails

Table of Contents:
I: Love Bites
II: Recaps
III: Schedule and Standings
IV: Announcements
V: Guacamolar


PART I: "As loud as hell. A ringing bell. Behind my smile. It shakes my teeth. And all the while, as vampires feed. I bleed." - Pixies

In a shameless attempt to keep this AWARD winning newsletter relevant on the Google Searches and to keep traffic (and thus my onion skin thin self-esteem) high, I am now going to gratuitously talk about vampire fiction and Twilight, and then make some lame kickball related tie in in the last paragraph. Why? Because I can. 

The first vampire I encountered in my life was the immortal Count Von Count. And while he was undead, I don't think he "counts" as a real vampire, considering he is of course a muppet. Still his visage, which of course cannot be seen in a mirror, seared in my mind the image of what a vampire should look like, except of course for the arm coming out of where his butt should be.

Vampires used to have a mystique of being taboo and risque. Even the beloved Count Von Count was edgy, especially for a children's show. Now thanks to Stephanie Meier all of the hedonistic thrills that vampyrism represented has been throttled away. Gone is the fear. Gone is the seductiveness. Instead of Jesus Franco like films of unadulterated and unfettered lust and wanton desires, we are subjected to bad writing, bad acting, and perhaps the biggest blight on society, mopey narcissistic teenagers in love! 

My point? Vampires were cooler when I was a kid. Now get off my lawn you whipper snappers, before I count to ah van!, ah two! ah three! 

The moral. Don't write vampire fiction and if you think you may be a vampire, please avoid biting the kickball at all times. That would suck for everyone. (I am a man of my word)

PART II: "Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear, and it shows them pearly white." Weill/Brecht

6:30 Recaps

99 Problems but My Pitch Ain't One 6 over WAKA Flocka Flame 1

Coming off a 2010 championship run, the team formerly named CareScout took to the field for the first time without their 2010 pitching sensation Matt K. With a new pitcher and a new name, 99 problems but My Pitch Ain’t One threw rookie pitcher Dave P on the mound. 99 problems proved that they did not need a star pitcher to win, instead they rode Josh “Highlight Reel” C’s stellar defense to a hard fought 6-1 victory. Runs were scored by Dave P, Josh C, Brett H, Alex H, Emma R and Danielle C.

Victoria B submitted this report.

The Ball Busters 13 over The Boston Kreamers 6

Due to an unforeseen mind-altering grass burn, caused by a head first slide, the Ball Busters forgot where they left their scorecard. Thus captain Tom C was unable to provide the names of who did what, when, where, how and to whom. However he did recall that he was safe on the slide that caused his memory loss, and that the 13-6 victory over the Boston Kreamers was a "team effort." (Thank you Captain Obvious). 

Despite the score, the Ball Busters were impressed with the Kreamers. "Once they put it all together, they will be a team to be reckoned with." 

The signs are there for the Kreamers. Patrick N kicked a home run, scoring  taking a digger while rounding second and touching the base with his face. Also the Kreamers are looking to ride the momentum from their early success against the Ball Busters, as well as the fact that Sean D will be celebrating the big 3-0. Hopefully they can celebrate in style with a victory in week 2. 

Tom C and Meghan S contributed to this report. 

7:15 Recaps

Ninja Awesomenauts 10 over One Pitch Wonders 0 

The Ninjapollo Craft and its Awesomenaut crew landed at 8:15 p.m. EDT Thursday at Boca Bar's refueling station after completing a 10-0 victorious journey of nearly 5 million innings against the One Kick Wonder planet.  "The success of this mission makes the Awesomenauts truly awesome," said NASA Captain Jen. "We had air lock defense working around the clock.  It was a space dog fight for a while until we finally broke it open."  Game co-MVP Nick commanded the flight with his pitching and scored two runs, one of which scored on a deceptively powerful bunt that took him to all four corners of the galaxy.  He was joined safely at home by Jon, Paige, Casey, Jen, Ryan, Amy and game co-MVP Mike. With its crew safely home, the stage is set for the next phase of the season. NASA's next mission is the second flight that will enter the WAKA Flocka Flame galaxy.

Jen and Paul contributed this report.

Looking to Score 5 over Pitch Please! 1

LTS got off to a strong start by plating all of their runs in the bottom of the first.  Chris and Alina got base hits to start things off.  Then Kramer, who enjoys pounding the big red ball almost as much as he enjoys watching the Ohio State football program deteriorate, hit a 3 run jack.  Jay P, newly promoted to the cleanup slot, followed with a base hit to continue the rally.  BDO doubled him to third.  Mike M's sac fly scored Jay P and BDO later came around on a clutch two out single by Sara B.  LTS came close to scoring again later in the game when Richard braved a collision at first to get an infield single.  New team members Cortney and Sara J each got hits in their debut but PP stranded them all.

BDO went the distance on the bump allowing only one unearned run.  He was aided by strong defensive play at third by Chris, Mike M in left, and Nupa at second base.

Jason K submitted this report.

PART III: "Love bites, love bleeds. It's bringin' me to my knees" - Def Leppard

Standings:

Schedule: Thursday, June 9

6:30 PM

Dirt: 99 Problems v. One Kick Wonders 

Referees: Looking to Score

Grass: The Boston Kreamers v. Pitch Please!

Referees: WAKA Flocka Flame


7:15 PM

Dirt: Looking to Score v. Ball Busters
Referees: One Kick Wonders

Grass:  WAKA Flocka Flame v. Ninja Awesomenauts

Referees:The Boston Kreamers

Equipment:Ninja Awesomenauts

PART IV: "Open your mouth boy. Show me your teeth. Show me whatcha got. Show me your teeth. Teeth teeth teeth" - Lady Gaga

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

TWITTER: Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

SHIRTS: All the shirts are in. You can pick them up tonight from your Captains.

BOCA BAR: Remember to join everyone tonight post game at our league sponsor The Boca Bar.

WEATHER: It's gonna be hot tonight and possibly stormy. Drink plenty of water throughout the day and bring plenty of water with you, and keep an eye on your email and the league twitter feed for any postponement information.

ALCOHOL: Reminder, no alcohol is allowed at Lowell Playground. (Won't somebody please think of the children!) Anyone caught with booze by us will be asked to leave. Anyone caught by booze by the police will face those issues, and our permits will be revoked. Be safe. Be smart.

PHOTOS: With no photos, this blog looks kinda boring. Please If you have any pictures of game or post-game action please send them to the GMOT at the linked address.


PART V: "the sun is settin on the century, and we are armed to the teeth.we are all working together now to make our lives mercifully brief" - Ani DiFranco

Now the fangs are out. There are no longer new teams or old teams. Now we are in that dog eat dog battle, jockeying for position striving to reach true immortality (not the blood sucking kind), that is to say IMMORTAL KICKBALL GLORY. So get out there, bare all for the world, and don't suck.


Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor