Ghost Man on Third
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE COMMONWEALTH DIVISION
"For those about to kick, we salute you"
Week 8 - "Stand up and be counted for what you are about to receive. We are the dealers we'll give you everything you need. Hail Hail to the good times, cause rock has got the right of way. We ain't no legends. We ain't no cause. We're just living for today."
Table of Contents
I - Not Slang For Bisexuality, Not There's Anything Wrong with That
II - PLAYOFF PREVIEW
III - 6:30 Recaps
IV - 7:15 Recaps
V - Standings and Schedule
VI - Announcements
VII - Off With the Horns, On with the Show
To those who deal in words, metaphors are any writer's best friend. A metaphor only works though when there is a shared commonality or connotation so that the meaning of the parallel is clearly evident. For example in poetry and literature, authors love to use the imagery of winter to describe death. I once had a literature professor hand out a cheat sheet of equations, as if it were a math class, and at the top it said "Winter = Death."
My favorite modern metaphor that is used in multiple genres is the train. The train symbolizes the journey of life, how each moment is dependant upon the moment that preceded it, and of course, is quickly overtaken by the moment following it. Filmmaker Jim Jarmusch, for example loves to allude to trains in his films, whether it's the obvious "Mystery Train" in the eponoymous film, or the subtle train
whistle that blows in the background as Bill Murray makes a realization about life in the movie "Broken Flowers" the metaphor of the train is used to give that added layer of meaning to his films.
Rock and Roll writers love trains as well. Part of that is the metaphor that train = time/life, and part of it is the deep south blues tradition that gave birth to rock and roll. For example the aforementioned "Mystery Train" movie is a tribute to Elvis, who's first single was "Mystery Train" an old blues standard. Trains were at the inception of rock and roll and they are forever linked.
This brings us to the band of the week. When a metaphor is over used it can become cliched. From a cliche you dance on the line of parody, where originality is lost to nostalgic
preconceptions (which of course are reinforced by the aforementioned cliched metaphors.) AC/DC now is a parody of AC/DC in their glory years. Their latest release, 2008's "Black Ice" breaks no new ground, and offers no real surprises. There are songs about women, sex, rock n roll, trains, and all the other well worn metaphors and topics that rock 'n roll covers.
This is not a bad thing, because at the heart of AC/DC beats the same pulse at the heart of all rock n roll: FUN. Yes, there are thousands of rock n roll sounds out there that use the imagery of trains. But a song like "Rock 'N Roll Train" while not innovative, still taps the essential primal nature of rock 'n roll that is so appealing.
Live, the band continues to straddle this line of genuine parody of their former selves. Save for the actual train wreck to start the show (which included a giant train crashing just over the top of Phil Rudd's drum kit, completely with explosions and FIRE), all of the other staging AC/DC used has been done before. The Bell for "Hells Bells", a giant inflatable BBW for "Whole Lotta Rosie" straddling the aforementioned train (no subtelty there!), cannons, and of course Angus Young standing atop a giant lift in the middle of the audience, like the great Colossus of Rock that he is.
Yet, just because it's been done before, doesn't mean it's still not fun. The simplicity of AC/DC, the elemental rock 'n roll they provided is fun. I'm still high on adrenaline from that show and it's two days later.
Yes, I know it's probably cliched to use AC/DC for a sports and music synergy. I think every stadium and sports club in the world at one point uses AC/DC's music to pump up the crowd. But I don't really care, because the reason AC/DC is such an indelible part of our sports-music consciousness, is because regardless of how many times you hear "Thunderstruck" or "TNT" it will always tap into that energy and vibe that is both rock 'n roll and sports: that pure eternal energy that animates us all.
When God said, "Let there be life" the Almighty might have well as just said, 'Let There Be Rock." They are basically the same thing. It just took Angus and Malcolm Young to point that out for us.
PART II - "You can't pick up not a single soundYou feel you're winning that's what it's all about
Knowing you are winning. And it could be the very last time."Our season continues to roll on, (insert train metaphor here) and we've begun on our approach to our final destination: The Division Championship.
With the playoffs starting today, here's a preview of Round 1:
#1 East Coast Animals v. #8 That's What She Said
ECA was one of two teams to finish this season undefeated, and did so in impressive fashion.
Dealing with some turmoil with their leadership, beleagured captian Ryan C. was able to keep his charges together and focused on their goal of league victory. Their two ties were with the equally undefeated Allen Club, and a shocking tie to the spunky Ball Busters.
They face a That's What She Said team that leads the league in
two categories, runs allowed and team spirit. Statistically this has not been the prettiest of seasons for Jocelyn C and her minions, but it's been a hell of a lot of fun. In the early part of the season TWSS was plagued by bad luck and bad timing. They started the season off strong, losing a few heartbreakers, including an impressive 1-0 loss to Allen Club, only to see the season spiral a bit out of control from there. They are certainly owed by Karma, and could very possibly pull out the shocking upset.
#2 Last Team Standing v. #7 Alcoballics
Last Team Standing at the beginning tried to live down their name. With the slew of Bens and
Mikes, Jason K and his team have positioned themselves to where they could live up to their ill- chosen monniker.
They face an Alcoballics team filled with cagey kickballian veterans. They started off the season in anonymity, and gained their lone win against the aforementioned TWSS. But in their lone meeting of the season with LTS, they lost a heartbreaking 2-1 decision, holding LTS scoreless for the final four innings, and forced LTS to be perfect on defense to keep that tying run from crossing. LTS may just have to be perfect again to prevent a first round upset.
#3 Allen Club v. #6 Ball Busters
The Papa Ginos fueled warriors of Allen Club were the league's other undefeated team. In the beginning of the season they did it with solid defense and pitching, including a no-hitter. In the past few weeks, even before their last
game of the season stat-skewing
victory over TWSS, their offense was beginning to come alive. They are definitely a threat to claim the league title.
However, they cannot look past the Ball Busters. Lead by Shoeless Bleeding Gums Caddigan, the Ball Busters fought hard in every game this season, though at times were plagued by Jeckyll and Hyde Syndrome as evidenced by tying both the #1 seed and the #8 seed. A team full of kickball veterans, they definitely have the stuff to give Allen Club a run for their dough.
#4 Eat Drums!!! v. #5 Waltham United
Looking over the results of both Eat Drums and Waltham United, all I could think about was the
vehicle that brought Paula Abdul from Laker Girl obscurity to Arbitrator of American Idol Jurisprudence: "Opposites Attract" As the refrain "I take two steps forward, two steps back" rolled in my
head, and I vomited a little in my
mouth, that line aptly describes the seasons for both Eat Drums!!! and Waltham United. Both teams at times were brilliant, and other times not so much. Both Isaac Gerofskys and Nick Floyd's teams are potentially dangerous for any of the higher remaining seeds. What has plagued both has been inconsistency. I expect this game to be close, as it was in their lone regular season meeting, a 2-0 victory by Eat Drums!!!
PART III -"Dog eat dog'Read the news. Someone win. Someone lose. Up's above and down's below. And limbo's inbetween. Up you win, down you lose. It's anybody's game."
Diamond: Allen Club 24 v. That's What She Said 3
This game is best represented by the image of two trains heading in opposite directions towards each other on the same track. On one hand you had an undefeated team, that had won in the early part of the season with strong defense and pitching, but in recent weeks had been starting to flex some offensive muscle. On the other hand you had a team that lost a few games in the early part of the season despite strong defense and pitching, and only say the negative momentum build rapidly along with their negative run differential. The outcome was almost predetermined in you knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but it was going to be SPECTACULAR.
For the Allen Club it took seven games, and lots of Papa Ginos pizzas, but finally they got on their scoring shoes, just in time to celebrate Jill Henrici's birthday. (And a Happy Birthday from another late July-er). The game was a textbook example of offensive efficiency, as whenever Allen Club had runners on (which was all the time) they took to heart the Papa Ginos mantra, "We Deliver." From Ike Lowry and Minnesnowda Olson, to Christmas and Courtney, Flava Flav and Ms. Maynard, Allen Club put the best offensive foot forward. The
defense held strong as well, showcased by Andrea and Jill earning a spectacular third to second force out out. Birthday girl, Jill Henrici and Pirate Kyle Olson were held as the Papa Gino's Players of the Game, but truly this was a team effort.
Despite the seeming conga line of Allen Clubbers around the diamond, this game was not without the trademark displays of heart, courage, and good sportsmanship by That's What She Said in the face of less then ideal game conditions. Brian was the man on defense, and Anita, Melissa, Jocelyn, Corrine doing their part. Rusty and Katie fought hard, as did Richard and Joy. Their
hardwork did pay off, in what could be considered the highlight of the season, a three-run "homer" by Corrine in the bottom of the 5th. With Brian and David on second and first, Corrine hit a liner to second that somehow eluded the Allen Club defense. Taking off on the kick, David found himself a step behind Brian at second, and both players then preceded to chug towards third separated by a mere stride. They turned third and headed for home, as the Allen Club defense was probably a bit stunned by the sight. An attempt to peg one of the runners at home sailed between the two charging TWSS members, and Corrine was able to follow on an overthrow from third. The rally was short-lived, but the laughter was not.
Joshua Allen contributed to this report.
Grass: Last Team Standing 11 v. Ball Busters 4
In what is becoming an LTS trademark, they were able to jump out to an early lead against the pugnacious Ball Busters. Mike C and Alina N got hits to ignite the LTS offense in the Top of the
1st. Ben K doubled in Mike C to get LTS on the board. Two batters later Mike M booted a 2-run double and came around to score on Mike F's double. The fifth and final run of the top of the first was thanks to an RBI single by Nate H.
The Ball Busters attempted to respond in the bottom of the 1st, as they quickly loaded the bases thanks to singles by Tara, Jaime and Greg. However the rally was quickly thwarted by an improbable triple play. John C laced a hard single that may or may not have been caught. Assuming no catch the Busters ran themselves into the Bens who turned the rare TP.
The Ball Busters were devastated, and this carried over to the top of the 2nd for LTS. After two quick outs LTS were able to add five more runs. Brian S got on, sparking the offense. Leah O got the first of her two hits on the day to move Brian S along. Mike C scored Brian S with a double. After Alina loaded the bases, Ben K hit a bases clearing triple and later came around to score on a Ben D hit. Sara B's run scoring base knock capped the six run 2 out rally.
Despite the 11-0 lead going into the third, the Ball Busters did not give up. They held LTS scoreless for the third, and in the fourth managed to score three runs. Kristy, Jamie and Greg touched em' all for the Ball Busters, on what should have been a grand slam by Mike C. However, LTS appealed that Mike did not touch first bace, and the referees agreed. Thus his run was invalidated and instead of four runs, the Busters had to settle for three. They held LTS scoreless again in the 5th, and managed to plate one more in the bottom of the 5th, but the early run explosion by Last Team Standing carried the day.
Jason Kivela and Tom Caddigan contributed to this report.
PART IV - "Then she made me say things I didn't want to say. Then she made me play games I didn't want to play. She was a soul stripper, she took my heart."
Diamond: Waltham United 5 v. Alcoballics 0
Despite the darkest, rainiest kickball day yet, WU showed up with nearly the largest team it has
fielded thus far – 12 Unitees! After a RPS win, WU elected to field first and stymied the Alcobolics opening kicks. WU got on the board in the bottom of the first with nice kicking from AL Rabuzzi and a sacrifice fly RBI from Brando, aka Mr. Sac Fly. As WU continued to keep the Alcobolics off the board, we added more runs in the bottom of the first, the first or which was nearly a disaster: Lauren F came charging home from 3rd thanks to another sac fly, but as the Alcobolics desperately tried to throw her out at home, AB’s first baseman collided into Lauren sending both hard to the ground. Lauren bounced up and made sure to touch home, but was clearly shaken up for the remainder of the game. Rallying behind her unwavering desire to tag home despite being dive-
tackled, WU added 3 more in the inning on less eventful runs by Chrissie, Emily, and Matt. Down 5-0, AB tried to rally in the top of the 5th, loading the bases with only one out, but thanks to some (bad fielding) a heads-up play, pitcher Nick F turned a routine infield fly into a dropped-ball-double-play-at-second to end AB’s rally and seal WU’s victory!
Unfortunately for Eat Drums, the game was not a one-inning affair, as their offense was stymied the rest of the way.ECA was able to build it's substantial lead with some long ball. Barry and Matty Calves hit home runs, and Trish contributed by getting on base and excellent defense, including several diving catches.
Announcements
The Alcoballics, saddened and apologetic not only for their relapse, but the massive collision at home with Waltham United's Lauren F, returned to anonymity to regroup and rethink their playoff strategy.
Having already clinched 4th place, Eat Drums!!! went into their week 8 rematch against East
Nick Floyd contributed to this report.
Grass: East Coast Animals 7 v. Eat Drums !!! 2
Having already clinched 4th place, Eat Drums!!! went into their week 8 rematch against East
Coast Animals looking only to tune up for the playoffs and try and ruin the name-usurping Animals' run at an unbeaten regular season (a feat achieved by Eat Drums!!! last season, under the name "Animal is My Homeboy." There's something about the name "Animal").
Andrew and Jen E led off the top of the first with back-to-back singles, and Mike followed with a sacrifice. Lauren then reached on a fielder's choice as Andrew was thrown out at the plate, and Isaac followed with a 2-out line drive to third that scored Jen E. Two more singles by Josh and Kyla scored Lauren, giving Eat Drums!!! a 2-0 lead.
Andrew and Jen E led off the top of the first with back-to-back singles, and Mike followed with a sacrifice. Lauren then reached on a fielder's choice as Andrew was thrown out at the plate, and Isaac followed with a 2-out line drive to third that scored Jen E. Two more singles by Josh and Kyla scored Lauren, giving Eat Drums!!! a 2-0 lead.
Unfortunately for Eat Drums, the game was not a one-inning affair, as their offense was stymied the rest of the way.ECA was able to build it's substantial lead with some long ball. Barry and Matty Calves hit home runs, and Trish contributed by getting on base and excellent defense, including several diving catches. The only highlight for the Drums the remaining four innings was Dave, who pulled off the rare kickball feat of walking twice in one game. Eat Drums!!! had one runner reach third base from the second to fifth inning, when Dave got there in the fifth following his second walk.
The new Animals, aware of their bold and brash name usurption, have decided to embrace being
the leagues Villians. As he laughed manically, beleaguered ECA Captain Ryan Cummings, said "We thoroughly enjoyed running up the score. Our plan for league domination is falling into place, and after we secure the title our next goal is the world. We will raise taxes, close all the orphanages, enslave all dogs and cats, and constantly call everyone with great new deals on long distance. MUHAHAHAHA!"
And they are not kidding, my spies indicate that ECA is furiously practicing in undisclosed locations, and developing the domination plans through various secretive and furitive communications. In fact, I hear jack-booted ECA thugs on my doorsteps.......
Josh Bob, Isaac Gerofsky and Ryan Cummings contributed to this report.
PART V - "Gettin' robbed. Gettin' stoned. Gettin' beat up. Broken boned. Gettin' had. Gettin' took. I tell you folks. It's harder than it looks. It's a long way to the top. If you wanna rock 'n' roll."
Final Standings
1.) East Coast Animals - 6-0-2, 14 points
2.) Last Team Standing - 6-1-1, 13 points
3.) Allen Club - 5-0-3, 13 points
4.) Eat Drums - 4-4-0, 8 points*
5.) Waltham United - 4-4-0, 8 points
6.) Ball Busters - 1-5-2, 4 points
7.) Alcoballics - 1-6-1, 3 points
8.) That's What She Said - 0-7-1, 1 point
Semifinals and Championship Week Schedule
6:30 PM
Diamond: Highest Remaining Seed v. Lowest Remaining Seed, Referee TBD.
Grass: Second Highest Remaining Seed v. Second Lowest Remaining Seed, Referee TBD
7:15 PM
Diamond: Winners of 6:30pm Games. Referee, TBD.
PART VI - "Every night there's a rock 'n' roll Queen. Gonna quiver and quake. Gonna shake her thing. There's gonna be some rockin' There's gonna be some rockin' There's gonna be some rockin' at the show tonight"
Announcements
WEATHER: The sun is shining for now. Yet thunderstorms are on the horizon. Come prepared
to play, and we will attempt to play around any thunderstorms that may pop up.
BOCA BAR: Only two more weeks left at the Boca Bar. They have been loyal partners with our little division for two years now, so stop by and show them your appreciation. That's What She Says highly recommends the plaintains, cause That's What She Said.
FALL LEAGUE: If you are waiting on tenterhooks for announcement of a fall league hold on a little longer. League Rep Brian Sweetser is working diligently on getting that information together.
END OF SEASON PARTY: Details are forthcoming. Sweetser is a tough negotiator and he is twisting arms, breaking knuckles, and asking politely for the best deal in town to maximize the fun and frivolity of our little division's farewell bash.
their website for information on how you can help, and stay tuned for the MA CommonwealthLeague's efforts to assist this noble and worthy cause.
PHOTOS: Thanks to Kim from the Alcoballics and friend of Last Team Standing, Tim for their photographic contributions to this week's delayed GMOT. If you have any photos or announcements you'd like to share please feel free to email them to me at this address.
PART VI - "No stop signs, speed limit. Nobody’s gonna slow me down. Like a wheel, gonna spin it. Nobody’s gonna mess me round. Hey satan, payed my dues. Playing in a rocking band. Hey momma, look at me. I’m on my way to the promised land."
Our train is approaching its final destination. Tonight four teams will realize the end of their season, and time to slink into the winter of discontent (or at least until the Fall League). Four other teams will be one step closer to knowing the taste of sweet kickballian immortality. It's a long way to the top, if you want to win at kickball, and you don't need any metaphors to understand that.
- David, That's What She Said
