Since it is a long weekend and this blogger is taking a much needed vacation, I will keep my normal lunatic ravings brief. Playoffs start next week, the final frontier if you will of our artificial kickball universe. To boldly go where no team has gone before (since this is the first spring season of our league) you must be willing to go farther, fly higher and work harder than the next team. Or drink more. That always helps. May a force (that results in a run or two) be with you.
So You Want to Know a Kickball Star: A New Hope
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away on the distant planet of Tatooine, there grew a boy named Richard. His parents owned a bustling jazz cantina call Chalum's in the bustling city of Mos Eisley, which according to the mutterings of some cranky old Jedi's was a the wretched hive of scum and villany. What the wise Obi Wan failed to include was the gentrification and hipster vibe. Think the South End, only with more bounty hunters and less brownstones. Like any good small family run establishment, the Wheelers wanted young Richard to learn the entire business, starting out as a bar back, with the one day of becoming Emperor (General Manager). However, Richard had dreams of becoming a musician. Since Chalum's was the happening spot in Mos Eisley all the best acts filtered through, from Daft Punk, The Hives and Dr. Funke's 100% Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution, to the legendary house band Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes. Between shifts and his apprentice work as a real estate lawyer at the firm of Jabba, Wocky and Hutt LLP. (sadly there are no accredited law schools on Tatoonie. Just a University of Phoenix.) Richard would practice daily on his sousaphone.
His practicing and dream of being an interplanetary jazz musician caused much tension with his parents. His interest in the business waned as he grew ever more tantalized by the sweet dulcet sounds of the sousaphone, and the bohemian lifestyle of the jazzman. His dream was not to run the bar of his parent's like an Imperial Sam Malone, but to play sousaphone for the Modal Nodes, replacing Figrin D'an. He would sit in his speeder cruising across the Dune Sea making the run to Tochi Station to hang out with the sons and nephews of the moisture farmers, dreaming of seeing his name in lights "Richard and the Modal Nodes" at Radio City Music Hall. Unfortunately his day dreaming cost him, and he didn't see the giant banta that was crossing the road. The crash totaled his speeder and sousaphone, and since he had cut rate speeder insurance, his bills were quite high. This infuriated his parents which lead to the inevitable showdown filled with whiskey and tears that all wannabe interplanetary jazz musicans have with their parents. Richards moved out of the family's split level, and into a small basement apartment near the Mos Eisley Red Robin (yum!). He got a job at Jabba's Sunglass Hutt and also did work as a security guard at the trendy trash metal club the Rancor Pit of the local casino Jabba's Palace to make ends meet. During those endless shifts, he would compose songs for the Modal Notes, hoping one day he would be able to break free from his dead end life on a dead end planet, like a bounty hunter freed from being frozen in carbonite. Richard entertained these delusions of grandeur as life passed him by.
Then one day, in strolled the great Figrin D'an, to party at the Rancor Pit with this coked up Aldereanian Princess. When D'an got a little handsy, she slapped him, screaming, "I'd rather kiss a Wookie". D'an, unfortunately didn't know any Wookies, so he couldn't quip back "That can be arranged" much to the chagrin of the bearded pudgy gentlemen in the corner who was writing the script to the film that would become "American Grafitti." Richard, sense his opportunity comforted the wounded D'an, as the Princess started shaking her buns at a raffish pilot sitting solo in the corner. Richard, buying D'an a drink, told him of his plans. D'an, who'd heard the spiel of a thousand dreamers before, nodded politely as he milked his whiskey and soda. When Richard finished, D'an goes, "Kid, if you wanna be a jazzman, you gotta have a song." Richard, anticipating this, busted out the magnum opus he had written while he slaved for Jabba. "Mad About Me" he called it, inspired by a 1990's sitcom that marked the height of Paul Reiser's career and was decent fodder on NBC's Must See TV Thursday. D'an, reading the music and following the notes in his head, realized the kid had something. Nodding excited, D'an offered the kid a chance to practice with his band.
Practice went well, Richard growing more confident, and D'an sensing he could easily exploit his naive protege and get the kid to sign over the publishing rights to a song that would definitely be the touchstone of a generation and annoying ring tone to nerds and geeks everywhere. They would debut the song at Chalum's, a sort of homecoming, where Richard could show his parents his talents and make them proud. Unfortunately that night was the night the raffish young pilot from the Rancor Pit shot first and shot the catereer/bounty hunter Greedo. (Event planning was Greedo's first love. He only bounty hunted to support that.) A Jedi knight, some whiny kid he saw hanging out at Toschi station a few times, a wookie and two droids were involved. The band never got to play his son. D'an was killed in the melee, and Richard's sousaphone was destroyed in a hilarious and unfortunately adult manner (too adult for this blog) by an effeminate protocol droid who was drunk.
The cantina destroyed, Richard said "screw this dust bowl" and moved to Boston, where seeking the same wretched hive of scum and villiany he was used to on his home planet, joined a kickball league.
Song or Video that Interests Me (And Probably Only Me)
Speaking of Star Wars, Star Trek and all the space pop culture sci-fi that nostalgic Generation X and Y'ers love, here's a great piece of mind blowing by ILM in the 2009 re-boot of "Star Trek."
And for you who are Trekkies over Star Wars, a bonus.
Games You People Played In
Continuing to get better and better the Benchmarks were super spirited for the games. We were close to getting a run but lost again. Jesse was the man behind home. With his velcro fingers he caught many foul balls. Robert continues to be the pitcher with the moves. We had many cheerleaders at the game, one even brought us Twizzlers. Brett was our inspirational leader throughout the game. Katie kicked some butt on third base and Danielle was graceful as ever when trying to catch pop flys. GO BENCHMARKS! - David G.
Frank's Little Beauties looked out of order, out of sync, and their undefeated season looked like it was running out of time. That's when Mother Nature stepped in. Thunder and Lightning, followed close behind by torrential rains, forced the Beauties off the field before the first inning was even over. Press the reset button. - Chris T.Booze on First was looking to beat the Newton Benchmarks again and secure victory number 2 on the season. We got on the scoreboard early in the second inning as consecutive hits by Andrew and Sam put men on second and third. Patrick then drove in our first run of the game to give us a 1-0 lead. Despite getting more people on base that was our only run. We then played some great defense to secure the victory. Frank the Tank made a great catch of a line drive that bounced off of Vivek. Patrick made a game saving over the shoulder catch in center field as the Benchmarks tried to deliver a last attack in the final inning. Andrew made a great diving catch as pitcher and also threw a solid game. Kevin played well at first and Jacqui delivered another solid game at catcher as well as getting a nice double. Booze will look for their 3rd victory of the season as they play the Benchmarks again in the rivalry game next week. - Sam B.
In one of the tightest games of the seasons, Brief Student Concerns beat the Ninjas on a walk off. It was a game of leads built, lead changes, crucial plays by team members and all out effort all around. Truly one of the best games of the season where the Ninjas came up just a little bit short against a rapidly improving Brief Student Concerns. Though the Ninjas will seek sweet delicious revenge tonight. Mmmmm. Revenge. - David M.
Miscellany
- Please visit here for tonight's schedule. Yeah. It's all sorts of fucked up. Remember Games start at 6:00pm, 6:45 and 7:30. Yowsah.
- Please visit here for current league standings.
- DRINK AT SHOPPER'S WORLD. YAY!
- Tim will never fall into a Sarlac pit, but he'll take some awesome photos.
- Apologies for lack of links and artwork by Tim this week. I'm on vacation and main-lining BBQ sauce in America's Heartland and Arrested Development as if I'm a bit player in The Wire.
- END OF SEASON PARTY AT WAVE IN WALTHAM ON JUNE 7TH. COME AND DRINK AND PARTY LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
Next Week
It will not be the blog post you are looking for.