Ghost Man on Third: The Edition with Teeth

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"Just a humble little playground game, with a big ass ball." - Bunk Moreland

WEEK 2: "She comes along. She gets inside. She makes you better than anything you've tried. It's in her kiss. The blackest sea. And it runs deeper than you. Dare to dream it could be. With teeth. " - Nine Inch Nails

Table of Contents:
I: Love Bites
II: Recaps
III: Schedule and Standings
IV: Announcements
V: Guacamolar


PART I: "As loud as hell. A ringing bell. Behind my smile. It shakes my teeth. And all the while, as vampires feed. I bleed." - Pixies

In a shameless attempt to keep this AWARD winning newsletter relevant on the Google Searches and to keep traffic (and thus my onion skin thin self-esteem) high, I am now going to gratuitously talk about vampire fiction and Twilight, and then make some lame kickball related tie in in the last paragraph. Why? Because I can. 

The first vampire I encountered in my life was the immortal Count Von Count. And while he was undead, I don't think he "counts" as a real vampire, considering he is of course a muppet. Still his visage, which of course cannot be seen in a mirror, seared in my mind the image of what a vampire should look like, except of course for the arm coming out of where his butt should be.

Vampires used to have a mystique of being taboo and risque. Even the beloved Count Von Count was edgy, especially for a children's show. Now thanks to Stephanie Meier all of the hedonistic thrills that vampyrism represented has been throttled away. Gone is the fear. Gone is the seductiveness. Instead of Jesus Franco like films of unadulterated and unfettered lust and wanton desires, we are subjected to bad writing, bad acting, and perhaps the biggest blight on society, mopey narcissistic teenagers in love! 

My point? Vampires were cooler when I was a kid. Now get off my lawn you whipper snappers, before I count to ah van!, ah two! ah three! 

The moral. Don't write vampire fiction and if you think you may be a vampire, please avoid biting the kickball at all times. That would suck for everyone. (I am a man of my word)

PART II: "Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear, and it shows them pearly white." Weill/Brecht

6:30 Recaps

99 Problems but My Pitch Ain't One 6 over WAKA Flocka Flame 1

Coming off a 2010 championship run, the team formerly named CareScout took to the field for the first time without their 2010 pitching sensation Matt K. With a new pitcher and a new name, 99 problems but My Pitch Ain’t One threw rookie pitcher Dave P on the mound. 99 problems proved that they did not need a star pitcher to win, instead they rode Josh “Highlight Reel” C’s stellar defense to a hard fought 6-1 victory. Runs were scored by Dave P, Josh C, Brett H, Alex H, Emma R and Danielle C.

Victoria B submitted this report.

The Ball Busters 13 over The Boston Kreamers 6

Due to an unforeseen mind-altering grass burn, caused by a head first slide, the Ball Busters forgot where they left their scorecard. Thus captain Tom C was unable to provide the names of who did what, when, where, how and to whom. However he did recall that he was safe on the slide that caused his memory loss, and that the 13-6 victory over the Boston Kreamers was a "team effort." (Thank you Captain Obvious). 

Despite the score, the Ball Busters were impressed with the Kreamers. "Once they put it all together, they will be a team to be reckoned with." 

The signs are there for the Kreamers. Patrick N kicked a home run, scoring  taking a digger while rounding second and touching the base with his face. Also the Kreamers are looking to ride the momentum from their early success against the Ball Busters, as well as the fact that Sean D will be celebrating the big 3-0. Hopefully they can celebrate in style with a victory in week 2. 

Tom C and Meghan S contributed to this report. 

7:15 Recaps

Ninja Awesomenauts 10 over One Pitch Wonders 0 

The Ninjapollo Craft and its Awesomenaut crew landed at 8:15 p.m. EDT Thursday at Boca Bar's refueling station after completing a 10-0 victorious journey of nearly 5 million innings against the One Kick Wonder planet.  "The success of this mission makes the Awesomenauts truly awesome," said NASA Captain Jen. "We had air lock defense working around the clock.  It was a space dog fight for a while until we finally broke it open."  Game co-MVP Nick commanded the flight with his pitching and scored two runs, one of which scored on a deceptively powerful bunt that took him to all four corners of the galaxy.  He was joined safely at home by Jon, Paige, Casey, Jen, Ryan, Amy and game co-MVP Mike. With its crew safely home, the stage is set for the next phase of the season. NASA's next mission is the second flight that will enter the WAKA Flocka Flame galaxy.

Jen and Paul contributed this report.

Looking to Score 5 over Pitch Please! 1

LTS got off to a strong start by plating all of their runs in the bottom of the first.  Chris and Alina got base hits to start things off.  Then Kramer, who enjoys pounding the big red ball almost as much as he enjoys watching the Ohio State football program deteriorate, hit a 3 run jack.  Jay P, newly promoted to the cleanup slot, followed with a base hit to continue the rally.  BDO doubled him to third.  Mike M's sac fly scored Jay P and BDO later came around on a clutch two out single by Sara B.  LTS came close to scoring again later in the game when Richard braved a collision at first to get an infield single.  New team members Cortney and Sara J each got hits in their debut but PP stranded them all.

BDO went the distance on the bump allowing only one unearned run.  He was aided by strong defensive play at third by Chris, Mike M in left, and Nupa at second base.

Jason K submitted this report.

PART III: "Love bites, love bleeds. It's bringin' me to my knees" - Def Leppard

Standings:

Schedule: Thursday, June 9

6:30 PM

Dirt: 99 Problems v. One Kick Wonders 

Referees: Looking to Score

Grass: The Boston Kreamers v. Pitch Please!

Referees: WAKA Flocka Flame


7:15 PM

Dirt: Looking to Score v. Ball Busters
Referees: One Kick Wonders

Grass:  WAKA Flocka Flame v. Ninja Awesomenauts

Referees:The Boston Kreamers

Equipment:Ninja Awesomenauts

PART IV: "Open your mouth boy. Show me your teeth. Show me whatcha got. Show me your teeth. Teeth teeth teeth" - Lady Gaga

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

TWITTER: Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

SHIRTS: All the shirts are in. You can pick them up tonight from your Captains.

BOCA BAR: Remember to join everyone tonight post game at our league sponsor The Boca Bar.

WEATHER: It's gonna be hot tonight and possibly stormy. Drink plenty of water throughout the day and bring plenty of water with you, and keep an eye on your email and the league twitter feed for any postponement information.

ALCOHOL: Reminder, no alcohol is allowed at Lowell Playground. (Won't somebody please think of the children!) Anyone caught with booze by us will be asked to leave. Anyone caught by booze by the police will face those issues, and our permits will be revoked. Be safe. Be smart.

PHOTOS: With no photos, this blog looks kinda boring. Please If you have any pictures of game or post-game action please send them to the GMOT at the linked address.


PART V: "the sun is settin on the century, and we are armed to the teeth.we are all working together now to make our lives mercifully brief" - Ani DiFranco

Now the fangs are out. There are no longer new teams or old teams. Now we are in that dog eat dog battle, jockeying for position striving to reach true immortality (not the blood sucking kind), that is to say IMMORTAL KICKBALL GLORY. So get out there, bare all for the world, and don't suck.


Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor

Ghost Man on Third: Opening Week Spectacular!

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"It's All in the Kickball Game, Yo." - Omar Little

OPENING WEEK: "Hey Ho Hey! It's the Acid Test. Got a Busy Day. I'm Wearing a Vest." - Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros

Table of Contents:
I: There will be no mentions of Rebecca Black (except for that one and this parenthetical explaining that reference to Rebecca Black)
II: It's What You Use Sporkle to Kill
III: Schedule
IV: Announcements
V: She's a Lady Day


PART I:It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log But when I get home to you I find the things that you do will make me feel alright - The Beatles

Welcome. For some reason, whether via coercion, peer pressure, perhaps aided by mind altering substances, a shyness that is criminally vulgar, nostalgia for a by gone era when you had velcro on your shoes and the interwebs was just some nerd's fantasy, or some strange fetish that even I haven't heard of, you have joined a World Adult Kickball Association league. Lucky for you, you have chosen wisely.

This here AWARD WINNING newsletter will serve you for the next few months as your conduit for all things MA Commonwealth, plus the rants of a crazy person, highly esoteric jokes, bits of song lyrics to punctuate the theme of the week, and of course lots and lots of photos. If you would like to submit photos of game or bar action, or random places you may wear your WAKA shirt, just shoot me an email here.

We here at GMOT (Ghost Man on Third) Central, (and by "we" we mean, I and the different voices in my (our?) head, are looking forward to a wonderful opening day, plus an even better season. This is the fifth year of this division, and it is has grown by leaps and bounds every year. The epic levels of funness can only be achieved by the active participation of you (me?) the kickball playing boy and/or girl.

So let us grab that bouncy rubber ball by its grand orbituity and let's get this season started. Oh, and as always no refunds.


PART II: "Whether life's disabilities, Left you outcast, bullied, or teased, Rejoice and love yourself today, 'Cause baby you were born this way" - Lady Gaga  

For some of you it's only been mere months since you stood on a kickball field, experience season ending agony or season ending exuberance, or nothing since you were too cold from the frostbite from various fall leagues around the area. For some of you, you have not donned the cleat and shirt of kickball since you were mere adolescents wondering when puberty was going to hit. So here is a refresher on some of the differences between kickball then and now.

Then: You feared getting picked last and spending the next decade of your life trying to overcome that shame.
Now: You are old enough to drink that shame away.

Then: The adults were the coaches and umpires and they all sounded like the adults in a Peanuts cartoon.
Now: WAH-WAH. WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WHAH HAH.

Then: Parents or teachers would be there with orange slices and water for nourishment.
Now: The Boca Bar is there with a fine alcohol selection and Costa Rican delicacies for nourishment.

Then: Girls and Boys were icky in general.
Now: Girls and Boys are icky, due to the mud, sweat and weekly rain storms that seemingly befall our league.

Then: You made fun of people who drew walks in kickball.
Now: You make fun of people who draw walks in kickball.

Then: The ball was quite bigger than your head.
Now: For some of us, it's as big as our beer bellies.

Then: Games lasted the length of recess or gym class, or until someone got mad and played the "it's my ball, and I'm going home" card. Hated those kids.
Now: 5 innings with no extra innings until the playoffs.

Then: The rules were confusing, you didn't know how to run the bases, and catching the ball was a minor miracle.
Now: This pretty much hasn't changed at all.


PART III: Night and day you are the one. Only you beneath the moon or under the sun.wheather near to me or far it's no matter darling, where you are. I think of you, day and night, night and day - Cole Porter


Schedule: Thursday, June 2

6:30 PM

Dirt: 99 Problems v. WAKA Flocka FlameReferees: Looking to Score

Grass: The Boston Kreamers v. Ball Busters
Referees: Ninja Awesomenauts


7:15 PM

Dirt: Looking to Score v. Pitch Please!
Referees: 99 Problems

Grass: One Kick Wonders v. Ninja Awesomenauts
Referees: Ball Busters

Equipment: 99 Problems

PART IV: "And the sun will set for you. The sun will set for you. And the shadow of the day. Will embrace the world in grey. And the sun will set for you" - Linkin Park

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

BOCA BAR: Remember to join everyone tonight post game at our league sponsor The Boca Bar.

FOOTWEAR: No open toed shoes or metal cleats are allowed.

ALCOHOL: Reminder, no alcohol is allowed at Lowell Playground. (Won't somebody please think of the children!) Anyone caught with booze by us will be asked to leave. Anyone caught by booze by the police will face those issues, and our permits will be revoked. Be safe. Be smart.

PHOTOS: If you have any pictures of game or post-game action please send them to the GMOT at the linked address.


PART V: "These days, days, days, run away like horses over the hill." - U2

And so another day has dawned, and the cosmic ballet that is adult kickball continues. With grace, dignity, patience, trepidation and reckless abandon, we greet this wondrous day. Tonight the long journey to immortal kickball glory begins. 8 teams enter. 1 team wins. Who will it be? That we will see as these days unfold.


Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor

Kickstart Our Hearts - Rules Clinic and Scrimmage Tonight

MA Commonwealth Summer League Rules Clinic and Pick Up Game Tonight!




Whether you are a kickball veteran, or haven't touched a big red balls since you were clad in OshKosh (by Gosh), come join us tonight for a rules clinic and scrimmage. Followed as always by time at the Boca Bar!


Lowell Playground
6:30pm - Tonight!


http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=220531511291977

Y'ar She Blows! A Kickball Season Ahead

Now as children we learned that April showers, bring May flowers, and that May flowers bring Pilgrims. (And a lot of strife for our Native American cousins). But now in 2011, our April showers bring May Kickball.

The 2011 MA Commonwealth Season starts June 2.

But before the balls start a kicking, there are some pre-season meetups and hangouts. Come join us and start the season on the right foot (or left foot if that is your inclination). 

Thursday, May 12 - Pre-Season Mixer at Boca Bar 
Thursday, May 12 - $10 late registration fee added for players who sign up after this date.
Thursday, May 26 - Pick Up Game/Meet and Greet at Boca Bar
Thursday, June 2 - Season Starts