Ghost Man on Third: The Edition with Teeth

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"Just a humble little playground game, with a big ass ball." - Bunk Moreland

WEEK 2: "She comes along. She gets inside. She makes you better than anything you've tried. It's in her kiss. The blackest sea. And it runs deeper than you. Dare to dream it could be. With teeth. " - Nine Inch Nails

Table of Contents:
I: Love Bites
II: Recaps
III: Schedule and Standings
IV: Announcements
V: Guacamolar


PART I: "As loud as hell. A ringing bell. Behind my smile. It shakes my teeth. And all the while, as vampires feed. I bleed." - Pixies

In a shameless attempt to keep this AWARD winning newsletter relevant on the Google Searches and to keep traffic (and thus my onion skin thin self-esteem) high, I am now going to gratuitously talk about vampire fiction and Twilight, and then make some lame kickball related tie in in the last paragraph. Why? Because I can. 

The first vampire I encountered in my life was the immortal Count Von Count. And while he was undead, I don't think he "counts" as a real vampire, considering he is of course a muppet. Still his visage, which of course cannot be seen in a mirror, seared in my mind the image of what a vampire should look like, except of course for the arm coming out of where his butt should be.

Vampires used to have a mystique of being taboo and risque. Even the beloved Count Von Count was edgy, especially for a children's show. Now thanks to Stephanie Meier all of the hedonistic thrills that vampyrism represented has been throttled away. Gone is the fear. Gone is the seductiveness. Instead of Jesus Franco like films of unadulterated and unfettered lust and wanton desires, we are subjected to bad writing, bad acting, and perhaps the biggest blight on society, mopey narcissistic teenagers in love! 

My point? Vampires were cooler when I was a kid. Now get off my lawn you whipper snappers, before I count to ah van!, ah two! ah three! 

The moral. Don't write vampire fiction and if you think you may be a vampire, please avoid biting the kickball at all times. That would suck for everyone. (I am a man of my word)

PART II: "Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear, and it shows them pearly white." Weill/Brecht

6:30 Recaps

99 Problems but My Pitch Ain't One 6 over WAKA Flocka Flame 1

Coming off a 2010 championship run, the team formerly named CareScout took to the field for the first time without their 2010 pitching sensation Matt K. With a new pitcher and a new name, 99 problems but My Pitch Ain’t One threw rookie pitcher Dave P on the mound. 99 problems proved that they did not need a star pitcher to win, instead they rode Josh “Highlight Reel” C’s stellar defense to a hard fought 6-1 victory. Runs were scored by Dave P, Josh C, Brett H, Alex H, Emma R and Danielle C.

Victoria B submitted this report.

The Ball Busters 13 over The Boston Kreamers 6

Due to an unforeseen mind-altering grass burn, caused by a head first slide, the Ball Busters forgot where they left their scorecard. Thus captain Tom C was unable to provide the names of who did what, when, where, how and to whom. However he did recall that he was safe on the slide that caused his memory loss, and that the 13-6 victory over the Boston Kreamers was a "team effort." (Thank you Captain Obvious). 

Despite the score, the Ball Busters were impressed with the Kreamers. "Once they put it all together, they will be a team to be reckoned with." 

The signs are there for the Kreamers. Patrick N kicked a home run, scoring  taking a digger while rounding second and touching the base with his face. Also the Kreamers are looking to ride the momentum from their early success against the Ball Busters, as well as the fact that Sean D will be celebrating the big 3-0. Hopefully they can celebrate in style with a victory in week 2. 

Tom C and Meghan S contributed to this report. 

7:15 Recaps

Ninja Awesomenauts 10 over One Pitch Wonders 0 

The Ninjapollo Craft and its Awesomenaut crew landed at 8:15 p.m. EDT Thursday at Boca Bar's refueling station after completing a 10-0 victorious journey of nearly 5 million innings against the One Kick Wonder planet.  "The success of this mission makes the Awesomenauts truly awesome," said NASA Captain Jen. "We had air lock defense working around the clock.  It was a space dog fight for a while until we finally broke it open."  Game co-MVP Nick commanded the flight with his pitching and scored two runs, one of which scored on a deceptively powerful bunt that took him to all four corners of the galaxy.  He was joined safely at home by Jon, Paige, Casey, Jen, Ryan, Amy and game co-MVP Mike. With its crew safely home, the stage is set for the next phase of the season. NASA's next mission is the second flight that will enter the WAKA Flocka Flame galaxy.

Jen and Paul contributed this report.

Looking to Score 5 over Pitch Please! 1

LTS got off to a strong start by plating all of their runs in the bottom of the first.  Chris and Alina got base hits to start things off.  Then Kramer, who enjoys pounding the big red ball almost as much as he enjoys watching the Ohio State football program deteriorate, hit a 3 run jack.  Jay P, newly promoted to the cleanup slot, followed with a base hit to continue the rally.  BDO doubled him to third.  Mike M's sac fly scored Jay P and BDO later came around on a clutch two out single by Sara B.  LTS came close to scoring again later in the game when Richard braved a collision at first to get an infield single.  New team members Cortney and Sara J each got hits in their debut but PP stranded them all.

BDO went the distance on the bump allowing only one unearned run.  He was aided by strong defensive play at third by Chris, Mike M in left, and Nupa at second base.

Jason K submitted this report.

PART III: "Love bites, love bleeds. It's bringin' me to my knees" - Def Leppard

Standings:

Schedule: Thursday, June 9

6:30 PM

Dirt: 99 Problems v. One Kick Wonders 

Referees: Looking to Score

Grass: The Boston Kreamers v. Pitch Please!

Referees: WAKA Flocka Flame


7:15 PM

Dirt: Looking to Score v. Ball Busters
Referees: One Kick Wonders

Grass:  WAKA Flocka Flame v. Ninja Awesomenauts

Referees:The Boston Kreamers

Equipment:Ninja Awesomenauts

PART IV: "Open your mouth boy. Show me your teeth. Show me whatcha got. Show me your teeth. Teeth teeth teeth" - Lady Gaga

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

TWITTER: Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

SHIRTS: All the shirts are in. You can pick them up tonight from your Captains.

BOCA BAR: Remember to join everyone tonight post game at our league sponsor The Boca Bar.

WEATHER: It's gonna be hot tonight and possibly stormy. Drink plenty of water throughout the day and bring plenty of water with you, and keep an eye on your email and the league twitter feed for any postponement information.

ALCOHOL: Reminder, no alcohol is allowed at Lowell Playground. (Won't somebody please think of the children!) Anyone caught with booze by us will be asked to leave. Anyone caught by booze by the police will face those issues, and our permits will be revoked. Be safe. Be smart.

PHOTOS: With no photos, this blog looks kinda boring. Please If you have any pictures of game or post-game action please send them to the GMOT at the linked address.


PART V: "the sun is settin on the century, and we are armed to the teeth.we are all working together now to make our lives mercifully brief" - Ani DiFranco

Now the fangs are out. There are no longer new teams or old teams. Now we are in that dog eat dog battle, jockeying for position striving to reach true immortality (not the blood sucking kind), that is to say IMMORTAL KICKBALL GLORY. So get out there, bare all for the world, and don't suck.


Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor