Ghost Man on Third: Opening Week Spectacular!

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"It's All in the Kickball Game, Yo." - Omar Little

OPENING WEEK: "Hey Ho Hey! It's the Acid Test. Got a Busy Day. I'm Wearing a Vest." - Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros

Table of Contents:
I: There will be no mentions of Rebecca Black (except for that one and this parenthetical explaining that reference to Rebecca Black)
II: It's What You Use Sporkle to Kill
III: Schedule
IV: Announcements
V: She's a Lady Day


PART I:It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log But when I get home to you I find the things that you do will make me feel alright - The Beatles

Welcome. For some reason, whether via coercion, peer pressure, perhaps aided by mind altering substances, a shyness that is criminally vulgar, nostalgia for a by gone era when you had velcro on your shoes and the interwebs was just some nerd's fantasy, or some strange fetish that even I haven't heard of, you have joined a World Adult Kickball Association league. Lucky for you, you have chosen wisely.

This here AWARD WINNING newsletter will serve you for the next few months as your conduit for all things MA Commonwealth, plus the rants of a crazy person, highly esoteric jokes, bits of song lyrics to punctuate the theme of the week, and of course lots and lots of photos. If you would like to submit photos of game or bar action, or random places you may wear your WAKA shirt, just shoot me an email here.

We here at GMOT (Ghost Man on Third) Central, (and by "we" we mean, I and the different voices in my (our?) head, are looking forward to a wonderful opening day, plus an even better season. This is the fifth year of this division, and it is has grown by leaps and bounds every year. The epic levels of funness can only be achieved by the active participation of you (me?) the kickball playing boy and/or girl.

So let us grab that bouncy rubber ball by its grand orbituity and let's get this season started. Oh, and as always no refunds.


PART II: "Whether life's disabilities, Left you outcast, bullied, or teased, Rejoice and love yourself today, 'Cause baby you were born this way" - Lady Gaga  

For some of you it's only been mere months since you stood on a kickball field, experience season ending agony or season ending exuberance, or nothing since you were too cold from the frostbite from various fall leagues around the area. For some of you, you have not donned the cleat and shirt of kickball since you were mere adolescents wondering when puberty was going to hit. So here is a refresher on some of the differences between kickball then and now.

Then: You feared getting picked last and spending the next decade of your life trying to overcome that shame.
Now: You are old enough to drink that shame away.

Then: The adults were the coaches and umpires and they all sounded like the adults in a Peanuts cartoon.
Now: WAH-WAH. WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WHAH HAH.

Then: Parents or teachers would be there with orange slices and water for nourishment.
Now: The Boca Bar is there with a fine alcohol selection and Costa Rican delicacies for nourishment.

Then: Girls and Boys were icky in general.
Now: Girls and Boys are icky, due to the mud, sweat and weekly rain storms that seemingly befall our league.

Then: You made fun of people who drew walks in kickball.
Now: You make fun of people who draw walks in kickball.

Then: The ball was quite bigger than your head.
Now: For some of us, it's as big as our beer bellies.

Then: Games lasted the length of recess or gym class, or until someone got mad and played the "it's my ball, and I'm going home" card. Hated those kids.
Now: 5 innings with no extra innings until the playoffs.

Then: The rules were confusing, you didn't know how to run the bases, and catching the ball was a minor miracle.
Now: This pretty much hasn't changed at all.


PART III: Night and day you are the one. Only you beneath the moon or under the sun.wheather near to me or far it's no matter darling, where you are. I think of you, day and night, night and day - Cole Porter


Schedule: Thursday, June 2

6:30 PM

Dirt: 99 Problems v. WAKA Flocka FlameReferees: Looking to Score

Grass: The Boston Kreamers v. Ball Busters
Referees: Ninja Awesomenauts


7:15 PM

Dirt: Looking to Score v. Pitch Please!
Referees: 99 Problems

Grass: One Kick Wonders v. Ninja Awesomenauts
Referees: Ball Busters

Equipment: 99 Problems

PART IV: "And the sun will set for you. The sun will set for you. And the shadow of the day. Will embrace the world in grey. And the sun will set for you" - Linkin Park

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

BOCA BAR: Remember to join everyone tonight post game at our league sponsor The Boca Bar.

FOOTWEAR: No open toed shoes or metal cleats are allowed.

ALCOHOL: Reminder, no alcohol is allowed at Lowell Playground. (Won't somebody please think of the children!) Anyone caught with booze by us will be asked to leave. Anyone caught by booze by the police will face those issues, and our permits will be revoked. Be safe. Be smart.

PHOTOS: If you have any pictures of game or post-game action please send them to the GMOT at the linked address.


PART V: "These days, days, days, run away like horses over the hill." - U2

And so another day has dawned, and the cosmic ballet that is adult kickball continues. With grace, dignity, patience, trepidation and reckless abandon, we greet this wondrous day. Tonight the long journey to immortal kickball glory begins. 8 teams enter. 1 team wins. Who will it be? That we will see as these days unfold.


Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor