The Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division
"Eat, Drink, Play Kickball"
Table of Contents:
I: Soup's On Repeat
II: Main Offending Course
III: Schedule
IV: Announcements
V: Just Desserts
PART I: Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale, I got a girls, say she long and tall. She sleeps in the kitchen with her feets in the hall. - Robert Johnson
When you have both the last game of the Spring season and first game of the Summer season rained out, (Maybe we should sacrifice a weatherman to the weathergods. Or maybe a faux-weatherman, like one that drives tourists around in WWII era amphibious vehicles) it puts tremendous pressure on those of us (and by us, I mean me, the voices in my head, and my former monkey butler turned novelist) who are charged with bringing you sizzling kickball content. When you have no kickball, content is hard to come by. ( This is especially true when the author has been in the thick of the emotional maelstrom that is the Stanley Cup Final. All I could write coherently about right now is toasted bread. Mmmm. I like toast.) But like any good purveyour of entertainment, despite the images of bad line changes, odd-man rushes, and a silent wrister sneaking through an uncharacteristically porous defense to tie a series that are coursing through my head, replaying over and over again like that scene from A Clockwork Orange that everyone refers to when talking about the process of inculcation, (That game was a right tolchok to the yarbles), the show must go on.
So to whet your appetite for the smorgasbord of a kickball season that really, seriously, is going to begin tonight, here's a collage of images from the Spring season that will wrap up next week or perhaps when my as yet to be born great great-grandchildren go to college. You can look upon it with anticipation for all the fun you will have this season, or you can view it as a chilling vision of things to come. Either or, NO REFUNDS!
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| Click Image for Larger Image You Narcissists! |
Photos of course are by the wonderfully talented and dogged Tim Hoffman.
PART II: Down there, we have a plant that grows out in the woods and the fields.And it looks some like a turnip green. Everybody calls it Polk salad, now, that's Polk salad.Used to know a girl that lived down there and she'd go out in the evenings and pick a mess of it. Carry it home and cook it for supper'Cause that's about all they had to eat. But they did all right. - Elvis Presley
Normally, this is the space where recaps from the previous week's action occurs. While I am potent in words and deeds, I am not omnipotent; I cannot see and do not know all of you yet. Therefore this section depends completely on each team submitting a recap for each game, winner and loser. Please think of the future children who will someday read this and see here, preserved for all eternity, the exploits of his or her mother or father. It's like "How I Met Your Mother" only with less Neil Patrick Harris and more f-bombs.
So Captains, please submit a recap weekly to me at this address here. Point out who did well, who made you laugh, who maybe lost their pants, or whatever your heart desires.
Non-Captains, feel free to submit any photos, artwork,(candy) vines or suggestions as well. This is a blog for everyone, not just the ones in my head.
PART III: Tried to amend my carnivorous habits Made it nearly seventy days. Losin' weight without speed, eatin' sunflower seeds. Drinkin' lots of carrot juice and soakin' up rays. But at night I'd had these wonderful dreams. Some kind of sensuous treat. Not zucchini, fettucini or Bulgar wheat. But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat. - Jimmy Buffet
Schedule:
6:30PM
Diamond:
Saved By The Balls v. Don't Come on My Base - Ref Slim Kickins
Grass:
Melon Farming Ninjas v. Menace 2 Sobriety - Ref Pecan Sandies
7:15PM
Diamond
Legion of Doom v. Slim Kickins - Ref Saved by the Balls
Grass
Pecan Sandies v. Boca Cabana - Ref Menace 2 Sobriety
PART IV:"Now drop the beat, so I can talk about my favorite tastings. The food that is the everlasting, see I'm not fasting. I'm gobbling, like a dog on turkey. Beef jerky, slim jims, I eat sometimes. I like lemons and limes. And if not that, take it the road see and the salad sopped. Sit back, relax, listen to some hip hop." - A Tribe Called Quest
Announcements, Announcements Announcements
ALCOHOL: Drinking in public is illegal in Waltham. This is especially true on public playgrounds, such as Lowell field. Please do not bring alcoholic beverages to the field, and for the love of Bog do not consume. This could not only result in you facing civil or criminal charges, but we could lose our permit and that would be bad.
SHOPPER'S CAFE: However we know you are adults. To quench your thirst for the potables that are potent, please visit our league bar. Map can be found on the sidebar.
TEAMS: Games are scheduled to start at 6:30 and 7:15pm. There is a fifteen minute grace period, but if a team does not have the minimum 4 male and 4 female players in that time, then the game is a forfeit. Teams can still play, but the results will be entered as a 5-0 win for the team with the minimum amount of players
PHOTOS: Please submit photos to make my droll prose look better. Pictures can be submitted here. Thanks as always to Tim for his continued contributions.
SHOES: Just a reminder that proper footwear is essential for safety reasons. Sneakers and plastic cleats are perfectly acceptable. No open toed shoes or metal cleats. Players seen wearing open toed shoes or metal cleats will be asked to change, or will not be allowed to play.
ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow the league on Twitter and Facebook. Well at least until George Maharis' Fakeblock is released.
PART V:"Have some more chicken, have some more pie. It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried. Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it." - Weird Al
Before you lies a plethora of plates, a regular Old Country Buffet or Golden Corral, only without the early bird special. Whether your are a refined gourmand, a hipster foodie, or a fast food junkie, kickball is suitable for every palate and taste.
And if things get too serious around the kickball table, we can always have a ...
FOOD FIGHT!
Good luck and happy kicking,
- David, GMOT Editor
