The Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division
"Kick Rhymes with Sick"
Table of Contents:
I: Antidote to Ilness
II: A Denial Twist
III: Recaps
IV: Schedule and Standings
V: Announcements
VI: Blech
PART I: "Second try. To say goodbye. Kick the habit but I'll be standing in your way
You want antidote I got the poison." - The Hives
Congratulations are in order for Frank's Little Beauties, who captured the MA Commonwealth Spring Title with a thrilling victory on Tuesday over Brief Student Concerts
Kudos are in order to Captain Chris and his Little Beauties, Gerry, Ona, Michael, Ben, Kait, Stanley, Katie, Dara, Annie, Michale, Derrk, Jennifer, Patrick, Keivan, Sarah-Jane, Richard, Tyler, Claudio, Allyson, Ben, Amy, and Jesse.
And thanks to newcomers BSC for a great spring. Cheers to Katie and her Brief Concerns: Mark, Deacon, Jillian, Alyssa, Julian, Jim, Scott, Liza, Meredith, Erika, Liz Lia, Greg, Megan, Kevin, Nick and Marcus.
PART II: "I don't need no needle.To be giving me a thrill.And I don't need no anesthesia
Or a nurse to bring a pill. I got a dirty down addiction. It doesn't leave a track.I got a jones for your affection. Like a monkey on my back." - Bon Jovi
Psychologists have long pointed out that human beings when dealing with an emotional shock or trauma, process and progress through five stages of grief. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then finally acceptance. For you long time readers of this newsletter, you are well aware that this author is a long time Bruins season ticket holder. Over twelve seasons and quickly approaching 500 NHL games, this author lives by the motto, "Bruins Uber Alles". (Okay, I live by a second motto too, "Never start a land war in Asia." You'd be surprise how often that has come in handy.) So to see hope turned into defeat within the span of seventeen seconds, was quite shocking.
Since I am a planner, and have experiened a few playoff traumas over the years, I planned my grief accordingly. Tuesday: Denial. Wednesday: Anger Thursday: Bargaining (and Kickball): Friday: Depression and Saturday: Acceptance. However despite the best laid plans of mice and men, Mother Nature has intervened and I'm sick as a dog. (Not a Daugivans. YOU HAD AN OPEN NET KASPARS. JUST DEFLECT THE PUCK). Originally, upon consulting my monkey butler turned fellow writer and a team of highly trained doctors, I was going to punt this issue. But instead I took guidance from St. Patrice of Bergeron and soldiered on. I do apologize for nothing funny this week in advance. (Actually, even when I do a funny bit, like the upcoming always popular mailbag edition, I should probably apologize for not being funny as well. Maybe then I'd get less hate mail, and more spam.)
PART II: I was last in my class. Barely passed at the institute. Now I'm trying to avoid, yeah, I'm trying to avoid, a malpractice suit. Hey, like a surgeon. Cuttin' for the very first timeLike a surgeon. Organ transplants are my line." - Weird Al Yankovic
Don't Come on My Base 15 over Saved By the Balls 0
The triumphant return of DCOMB to Lowell field was the second most exciting announcement other than the promised coming of the Twinkie, arriving on shelves July 15.. Dan had a solid game at catcher, Danny made some great outs at first, and Daniel made his presence known as the only rookie to the team. Ilana made it safely to base on a bunt, while Ilana rocked a tutu and scored a run. Andrew perked up a late inning hot streak with a base hit, bringing Andrew to third base. Jon put a lock down on center field, covering for the missing Jon. It truly was a team playing as one team with very few names between them, with the final score setting the tone for the rest of the season. - Erik S.
Melon Farming Ninjas 8 over Menace to Sobriety 2
The MF Ninjas took their opening game of the season, not using stealth, theatrics and the element of surprise that have become Ninja trademarks, but instead battered their way to a victory over the fiesty and sobering Menace to Sobreity using the long ball. Home runs by Dave, Ed and Paul powered the onslaught and the returning duo of Nick and Lauren, along with the omnipresent Eli lead the charge on defense. - David M.
After takingg a "thugged out" team picture prior to the start of the game, Menace 2 Sobriety was hoping to intimidate the Ninjas and start the season off with a victory. We played some great defense for the first 3 and 2/3 innings. Andrew and Sam connected for a nice double play at first. Justin and Steve each made nice catches in center while Brad made a great play at 3rd base spiking the ball off the runner. Kevin made a nice play on a foul ball at first and Vivek and Melissa played solid at catcher keeping the bunts in check. We had an early 1-0 lead as Liz kicked home the first run. Unfortunately things all fell apart with 2 outs in the 3rd as the Ninjas scored 8 runs. We tried to rally in the bottom of the inning as Melissa scored our second run but ultimately came up short. - Sam BThe Pecan Sandies 4 over Boca Cabana 3
Week one, and oh what a week it was. The Pecan Sandies built an early lead with a two out first inning three run rally, but were unable to hold on as the other team pecked away and tied the score in the top of the fifth. Thankfully, after a lead off triple, a line out, and an intentional walk, MVP Big Ben K came through with a walk off RBI single, his second RBI hit of the day, to go along with a run scored. Highlight of the night: leftfielder Mike M taking a liner off the face in diving fashion - Chris T.
Both teams started off great defensively not allowing runs in the first inning.. Both teams looked great as the Pecan sandies sported their American Pride attire ( one week too soon) and the Boca Cabana sported their colorful leis . The Pecan Sandies broke the tie with some big kicks in a 3 run 2nd.. First time players Ashley M, Nicholas K and Nick T made some great defensive plays to keep the game close. Small ball and a great RBI by perennial all star Erin M tied the game in the top of the 5th. Pecan Sandies were able to muster up a gritty run to win the game in walk off fashion in the 5th. - Andrew B
Legion of Doom 12 over Slim Kickins 0
The Legion of Doom was looking to get their season off to a quick start sending out a strong lineup against Slim Kickings. Bizarro (Tom) got things started in the first clearing the bases with a grand slam. Lex Luthor (Big) and Gorilla Grod (Phil) decided to take Slim Kickings name literally as they pitched a scoreless game. A strong contribution from newcomer Solomon Grundy (Nick) supplied the insurance runs the Legion of Doom needed to close out the victory. Special note goes to Cheetah (Kelsey) for catching what could have been a costly miscue from Lex in the outfield to end the game. All in all, a great first showing for the Legionaires! - Jon N.
PART IV: "I went back to the doctor. To get another shrink. I sit and tell him about my weekend,But he never betrays what he thinks." - The Who
Schedule:
6:30PM
Diamond:
Slim Kickins v. Boca Cabana - Ref Melon Farming Ninjas
Grass:
Pecan Sandies v. Legion of Doom - Ref Don't Come on My Base
7:15PM
Diamond
Saved By The Balls v. Melon Farming Ninjas - Ref Slim Kickins
Grass
Don't Come on My Base v. Menace 2 Sobriety - Ref Pecan Sandies
PART V:"The doctor feels he's so abused and the lady feels she's so unused and demands the doctor tends her daily parts. Ooh, but the doctor just can't do it because so long ago the lady blew it, they're too old now to make another start.The lady feels the doctor's made of stone.The doctor' heart, it just ain't fond of home." - Bruce Springsteen
Announcements, Announcements Announcements
SHOPPER'S CAFE: However we know you are adults. To quench your thirst for the potables that are potent, please visit our league bar. Map can be found on the sidebar.
Schedule:
6:30PM
Diamond:
Slim Kickins v. Boca Cabana - Ref Melon Farming Ninjas
Grass:
Pecan Sandies v. Legion of Doom - Ref Don't Come on My Base
7:15PM
Diamond
Saved By The Balls v. Melon Farming Ninjas - Ref Slim Kickins
Grass
Don't Come on My Base v. Menace 2 Sobriety - Ref Pecan Sandies
PART V:"The doctor feels he's so abused and the lady feels she's so unused and demands the doctor tends her daily parts. Ooh, but the doctor just can't do it because so long ago the lady blew it, they're too old now to make another start.The lady feels the doctor's made of stone.The doctor' heart, it just ain't fond of home." - Bruce Springsteen
Announcements, Announcements Announcements
SHOPPER'S CAFE: However we know you are adults. To quench your thirst for the potables that are potent, please visit our league bar. Map can be found on the sidebar.
TEAMS: Games are scheduled to start at 6:30 and 7:15pm. There is a fifteen minute grace period, but if a team does not have the minimum 4 male and 4 female players in that time, then the game is a forfeit. Teams can still play, but the results will be entered as a 5-0 win for the team with the minimum amount of players
PHOTOS: Please submit photos to make my droll prose look better. Pictures can be submitted here. Thanks as always to Tim for his continued contributions.
SHOES: Just a reminder that proper footwear is essential for safety reasons. Sneakers and plastic cleats are perfectly acceptable. No open toed shoes or metal cleats. Players seen wearing open toed shoes or metal cleats will be asked to change, or will not be allowed to play.
ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow the league on Twitter and Facebook.
PART VI:"If you got the money, honey we've got your diseas." - Guns N Roses
Everybody have fun tonight.
Good luck and happy kicking,
- David, GMOT Editor
