The Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division
"What is kickball, but the people?"
WEEK EIGHT: "If there's music, we can use it, we need to dance. We don't have the time for psychological romance. No romance, no romance, no romance for me, mamma. Come on baby, tell me what's the word. Word up" - Cameo
Table of Contents:
I: The Olympus Moans
II: Tougher than Sticks and Stones
III: Quieter than Actions
IV: The Radosty of The Old In and Out
V: Standings and Schedule
VI: Announcements
VII: It Comes from The Hitch
PART I: " About to tell you something, something. You might already know but a green light flashes before my eyes and it's time for my verbal flow You're over there I'm over here. And I got things to say the latest news, about this and that and whatever might come my way. So I can tell you anything, anything you might wanna know" - The Hives
For those of you out there that are living breathing consumers of media, you are probably aware that the summer Olympics will soon begin in London. Now this quadrennial bacchanalia of sex, booze, and monopolistic merchandising, periodically interrupted by athletic contests and loaded with "You can't make this shit up" Human Interest stories, will transfix the global sports landscape for the next sixteen days. (Of course here in the US, it will just further fuel the fires of Community fans, about how their show plays second fiddle to Team Mixed Dressage).
While the world watches the men, women, and horses of the Triple X Olympiad (and I mean that as #30, rather than all the stuff that happens and stays in the Olympic Village), soon our league eyes will be transfixed by the playoffs and the final assault on the summit of Mount Immortal Kickball Glory.
For those of you who are new to the sport, or to the league the playoffs are a seeded tournament, that follows the structure of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament.
Playoff Week 1: August 2nd (times and fields TBD)
Game A: #1 v. #8
Game B: #4 v.#5
Game C: #3 v. #6
Game D: #2 v. #7
Playoff Week 2: August 9th (FieldTBD)
6:30 pm
Game E: Winner of Game A v. Winner of Game B
Game F: Winner of Game C v. Winner of Game D
And after the conclusion of those two games, the Championship game will occur.
7:15pm
Game G: Winner of Game E v. Winner of Game F
The team with the highest seed in each game gets to pick whether it wants to be the "road team" (kick first) or "home team" (field first).
Next week, in this space we'll go over the differences between playoff rules and regular season rules. For more information on League Tournaments and Rules, you can check them out here.
PART II: "And every one of them words rang true, and glowed like burning coal.Pouring off of every page, like it was written in my soul from me to you. Tangled up in blue." - Bob Dylan
With the Olympics upon us, a tall, bearded friend of mine brought an article to my attention. It's an essay from 1896 about the first modern Olympiad. As my friend stated in his email to me, "If you appreciate Victorian prose AND casual ethnography, take a look". As I navigated my way through the aforementioned prose, and laughed at the ethnocentric descriptions of the non English athletes, I began to ponder about the value of words, and how valuable they are in life. And then I stopped (collaborated and listened) realizing that yes, THAT PREVIOUS SENTENCE is probably the most banal and insipid thing I've ever written (and I've written a lot of banal and insipid things over the years.) Huzzah!
So I stopped thinking about the value of words (really, words are important. No shit, Sherlock) and started thinking about boobs, Bruins, BBQ, bourbon,Batman, bananas, Bieber, Bach,Boobs, Beethoven, Brahms, Boobs, BNSF, The Bunk, a bit to entertain the ever dwindling number of kickabrigians that read this blog. So what did the brilliant gears of my alleged mind come up with? WORDS!
So using the random Word-A-Day generator, I started with one word, and just clicked the next random word (no skipping) and made it my duty to entertainingly use the word it offered to describe each of our league's teams. This has a winning comic bit written all over it. Strap yourself in.
INCOGNITO: adverb, adjective
Having one's identity concealed. noun: 1. One whose identity is concealed. 2. The state of having one's identity concealed.
Well, this one is easy. This word of course could be used to describe the Ninjapocalypse Now. Ninjas of course make their living in popular culture as masters of the incognito. Of course our Ninjas, embrace this tradition by wearing the brightest possible yellow, announcing their presence at the beginning of each game with a cheer, and handing out many, many awards that recognize individual achievements rather than a team devoted purely to blending into the shadows. Perfect.
Holy poop, this bit was a terrible idea. How the hell I am going to relate this word to one of our teams? So did anyone see The Dark Knight Rises? I can't believe there was a talking pie, and the butler did it! (NOT SPOILERS) (Stalling, stalling), Oh wait, Teleballin'. And I'm not just pulling it out of my ample posterior either. This one is definitely them, as they are new team with a soccer background who've not really played kickball or baseball or softball before. Yet, presented with these new rules and ways (you mean run from base to base!) slowly and surely they've become a team. Sure, they haven't won a game yet, but it takes a seed many, many years to grow into the larch.
1. One who believes people are motivated by self-interest only.
2. A person with a negative outlook, one disposed to find fault.
There are no real cynics in this league, but in terms of team name this is fitting most to Looking to Bust Balls. Ball Busting as we know is not just an odd sexual fetish, but the art of finding fault with someone, constantly focusing on that fault to make sarcastic or humorous statements. And of course, since LTBB are looking to bust balls, they are focused solely on their self-interested search for opportunities to bust those aforementioned balls.
GOOGOL: noun
EUPHEMISM: noun
EUPHEMISM: noun
Use of a mild, neutral, evasive, or vague term in place of one considered taboo, offensive, blunt, or unpleasant.
I will admit when this popped up on the browser, I started running around in circles, making a "woop,woop,woop" noise, much to the chagrin of my befuddled co-workers. This was perfect for Don't Come on My Base! Then of course, I settled down and realized "oh crap, Don't Come on My Base! isn't a euphemism, it's a pun at worst, and an entendre at best. Damn it. Damn it to hell." But since we are talking about words, and since English is my native language I think the best euphemiser was of course William Shakespeare (or Edward deVere, the 17th Earl of Oxford, for those of you who know the truth). You couldn't talk about sex in Elizabethian England, at least not the way you could now. (Wow, I've just broken the record for most English Queens mentioned in a GMOT. Maybe I'll find a way to quote Elton John to go for a threesome...I mean trifecta.) Somebody wrote a book just to catalogue all the sex eupemisms!. And speaking of Shakespeare, I recommend you all go see the Commonwealth Shakespeare Company's production of Coriolanus (suprisingly not a euphemism for anything sexual or taboo. Which is even more surprising considering Coriolanus is a Roman leader, and they did everything Taboo. Nice civilization you've got Caligula) that is free on the Boston Common between now and August 12th. It's not a well known drama by the Bard (de Vere), but according to my good friend who is the stage manager it "has a few riots and some war." That's good enough for me! (Now I will giggle uncontrollably for several minutes as I've now said Coriolanus multiple times)
An appearance of a god to a person
And this of course refers to Tim, the friend of Looking to Bust Balls, who has descended with his Olympus (okay, it's really a Canon, but let me use some poetic license) to capture the highest quality shots of the league kickball action I've ever scene. Another huge thanks to Tim for coming this week and providing all the great league shots. View the full album here.
PART III: "go little record go. it is named by, some guy named joe. and the words
are the letters of the words, said." - Pixies
are the letters of the words, said." - Pixies
6:30pm Games
Ninjapocalypse Now 3 over We've Got the Runs 0
Coming into a match up with the top team in the league, We've Got the Runs assumed the worst, but instead we found ourselves in a very tight game. In the end lack of the runs continued to be our downfall as we lost 3-0. We played well but just couldn't get on the scoreboard. We left the bases loaded in each of the last 2 innings. Our defense kept us in the game. Frank "The Tank" got his first start at short stop and was like a human vacuum, getting every ball that came near him. Kevin, Kerry, and Mike all made great plays in the outfield and Andrew continued to pitch well for the Runs.
As for the Ninjas, while We've Got the Runs may have not gotten any runs, they did give the Ninjas many many fits. While the Ninjas were able to stifle the Runs offensive chances, the Runs were almost equally as stingy. It took the effort of Sword of Honor winner Ed, who scored all three Ninja runs and Medallion of Strength winner Sam to power the offense. Defensively Paul paced the team with his pitching, earning him the Helmet of The Horror, The Horror, and the play of the game was a long running catch on the hill in foul territory by Hand Drum of Destiny winner Dave P, which lead to an inning ending double play a third, that kept the shut out in tact.
Sam B and David M contributed this report
Pumped Up Kicks 7 over Kickin Nuggets 1
Nathan H contributed this report
PART III:"I'm gonna pull you in close. I'm gonna wrap you up tight. I'm gonna play with the braids that you came here with tonight. I'm gonna hold your face, and toast the snow that fell. Because friends don't waste wine when there's words to sell." - Interpol
7:15pm Games
Dirty Mike and the Boys 7 over Don't Come on My Base! 1
There once was a pink kickball team
With 4 straight wins, we were livin’ the dream
Then along came Dirty Mike
Who we very much don’t like
And with one game our season went downstream
Although we were all clad in velvet and furry vests
Something happened that none of us could have guessed
Dirty Mike took the lead
Running with lightning fast speed
While DCOMB’s captains nearly went into cardiac arrest
Luckily DCOMB’s players do have some skill
Dan circled the bases looking for a thrill
He got our only run for the night
Although it was an entertaining sight
To see him run in a tuxedo vest, looking dressed to kill
Two other pink players tried to help our team save face
And did everything they could to get on base
Matt did a forward roll
And Jodi’s slide took a toll
But at least they both went down with a lot of grace
To be a good player one must constantly keep their eyes peeled
And this week a great catcher was revealed
Meaghan is this week’s MVP
Because she screamed with glee
When she caught one epic fly ball to outfield
Illana contirbuted this limerickical report.
Looking to Bust Balls 5 over Teleballin' 2
LTBB was able to pull out a 5-2 victory thursday night thanks to a solid defensive effort combined with a good offensive execution. The top 3 in the order, Adam, Tara, and Ben, went 6-6 with 4 runs scored and 2 rbi's. Jay k and justin also added to the offensive with 3 more hits and 3 rbi's. Defensively AJ settled into the catcher position with strong fielding and constant put outs at 1st base. Lindsey, Jon, and Steve all added run saving catches in the outfield to help preserve the win for LTBB.
Ben contributed to this report
PART IV: " What do I do to make you want me? What have I gotta do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over? Sorry seems to be the hardest word " - Elton John
What do I say when it's all over? Sorry seems to be the hardest word " - Elton John
Standings:
Schedule:
Equipment to the Field: Kickin' Nuggets
6:30PM
Dirt:
We've Got the Runs! v. Kickin' Nuggets
Referee: Don't Come on My Base
Grass:
Dirty Mike and the Boys v. Pumped Up Kicks
Referee: Ninjapocalypse Now
7:15pm
Dirt:
Teleballin' v. Ninjapocalypse Now
Referee: We've Got the Runs!
Grass:
Looking to Bust Balls v. Don't Come on My Base
Referee: Pumped Up Kicks
Equipment to the Bar: Looking to Bust Balls
PART V: "People say 'beware!' But I don't care. The words are just rules and regulations to me, me ." Patti Smith
Announcements, Announcements Announcements
RULES: There are some slight rule changes about extra innings that may come into play in the playoffs. Please review those rules before next week.
ALL-STAR GAME: The second annual MA Commonwealth All-Star Game will be held on August 16th at Lowell Field. Come and cheer on your All-Stars. More information will be coming in next week's GMOT.
BOCA BAR: Only three more weeks left after tonight at BOCA. Please come and thank them with your patronage.
PHOTOS: Special thanks again to Tim who provided the bulk of this week's photos. Fantastic work and check out his full album here.
TWITTER: Remember to follow the league twitter account. @Macommonealth for all the latest news.
PART VI: "There was that night that we thought John Berryman could fly. But he didn't, so he died. She said 'You're pretty good with words, but words won't save your life' And they didn't, so he died. - The Hold Steady
Words are cheap, yet when it comes to events that ephemeral, those moments that recede into time as quickly as they came upon us, often times words are all that we have left to describe the moment. Now, often time in that moment of victory, we cannot find the words to express what we are truly feeling. But they come out in time, and provide the lasting testament to the experiences on this journey of life.
The champion of this division will be determined not by words, but by actions. Yet because of those actions, the winner will express their joy, while the losers will deal with their defeat. May you find the right words and actions to write the story of your victory, or dull the agony of defeat.
Good Luck and Happy Kicking,
- David, GMOT Editor
