Ghost Man on Third: Drill Baby Drill

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE MA COMMONWEALTH DIVISION

"If only BP drilled for kickballs; cleanup would be a breeze, and a ball."

WEEK TWO: "Right here on the station that plays only platinum hits. That's 187.4 on your FM dial. If you're lickin that's, WBALLZ." - Snoop Dogg

Table of Contents:

I: MID-SEASON PARTY!
II: That's not an Iraqi Landscape. Those are balls.

III:GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL

IV: Spherical is a Funny Word

V: Schedule and Standings
VI: Announcements
VII: Bouncing All Night Long

PART I: "Some balls are held for charity. And some for fancy dress. But when they're held for pleasure.They're the balls that I like best." - AC/DC

As hinted in last week's GMOT, the gears are in motion for our Mid-Season Party.

What is the Mid Season party you ask? It's a party that happens sometimes around the midpoint of the

season. But beyond that simple answer, it's also an excellent time. The league will pay for drinks, a space in which to drink and cavort unfettered by the unwashed non-kickball masses.

The Mid Season party is also a fundraiser. Non-league members can be brought as guests for the low cover charge of $10. All of the proceeds from these guests go to our as yet to be determined charity. So it's a win-win for everyone. Last year's party was ridiculous, with an epic flip cup tournament that essentially changed the course of civilization.
Details will be forthcoming as league Social Chair, Jennie Levangie of Ball Busters is diligently planning this year's debauchery. Stay tuned.


PART II: "So if you got the guts mister, yeah if you've got the balls. If you think it's your time, then step to the line, and bring on your wrecking ball." - The Boss

With the World Cup set to kick off (too easy) tomorrow, I've decided to focus today on one of the most important and versatile objects man has ever invented. Balls.

I will pause while some giggle like twelve year olds.

Finished? Me neither.

Okay. Now we can proceed. Ahem. Obviously balls (stop it!) can be juvenile, whether it's a children's toy (hey look, it's a kickball!) or a reference to well, ahem, a part of the male anatomy. But it's anatomical meanings don't stop with cojones. You have eye balls, ball joints, and the ever popular balls of the feet.

The spherical nature, providing unfettered rotation has been a boon to industry. How many machines would function without greasy ball bearings? (You can laugh at that one.) Industry would grind to a halt. Nothing brings a building down as satisfyingly as a good old wrecking ball.

There's also a relationship aspect to balls. (Besides their colloquial function in procreation.) You may meet the love of your life at a fancy dress ball, perhaps on New Year's Eve, waiting for the ball to drop. After Auld Lang

Syne, you may ending up in a closet or bathroom stall balling each other's brains out. This act could get the ball rolling on dating, then engagement, and perhaps marriage, which is when of course, your love becomes "the old ball and chain."

Balls offer flexibility in language to. They can be a derogatory phrase, 'That sucks balls' or a

compliment, "That's the balls." Balls can also be synonamous with courage, which while may seem sexist and misogynistic at first, has recently become gender neutral. To say someone has balls, male or female, indicates that person has a lot of courage.

But the balls that are bouncing in my head this week, are the ones that have the power to bring the world together. The balls of sport. Obviously, we don't need to much of a lesson on the power of balls as sport, just look at the friendships and fun playing kickball once a week can bring to our lives. But now, the world's attention turns to the World Cup, perhaps the simplest communal game. One ball and a flat surface to play on, and instantly you bring people together in ways that can only be good for our human family.

Even though soccer for years was neglected and poo-poo-ed in the US, slowly but surely America's soccer fortunes are capturing the attention of the US. Americans have purchased the most tickets of any nation, besides the host South Africans, this year and ratings for the

World Cup should be quite high. Also the opening match of Team USA versus England, is sure to strike a patriotic chord here in the US. Hopefully we can go all Revolutionary on their asses yet again. And also I find it deeply amusing that besides the intense global focus on who will win the World Cup, perhaps the most watched aspect of these games will be the ball? Word from the preliminary rounds is that this year's ball, is particularly difficult to handle for goalies, the equivalent of greasing a pig and kicking at someone. That should be interesting.

So as we (hopefully) get our games in tonight, let us give thanks for the power that is the humble, yet world shaking, ball.

PART II: "And this I know. His teeth as white as snow.What a gas it was to see him.Walk her every day into a shady place with her lips she said, she said, 'Hey Paul, Hey Paul, Hey Paul, let's have a ball'" - Pixies

6:30pm Games:
Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 10 over Wakadamia Nuts 1

In the opening match of week 2, after suffering a shut out in Week 1, the Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas decided to get Biblical on themselves and their opponents. To wit:

The Book of Ninjas, Chapter 8, Verses 14-20

14 On the eve of the second week of kickball, all the springs of the great deep burst forth, and the floodgates of the heavens were opened. 15 And rain fell on the earth twenty minutes or so. 16 Then Paul said to the team, 17 "Come to the field, fellow players, for Tom has not canceled the games. 18 Bring out each skill that is within you—the kicking, the defense, the Ninja powers and the speed to move along the wet ground—so they can score on the earth and increase in runs upon it."

19 So the Ninjas came out, together with their socks and headbands. 20 All the players moved along the field and all the balls—with the most humidity on

the earth—came out of their cars, one kind after another.

On a soggy grass field, the Ninjas got their groove back to the tune of 10-1 over the formidable Wakadamia Nuts. The game was like cow-tipping in the rain. Tough to get good footing, hard to keep a good grip, and everyone was really sweaty. There were contributions all around, as every Ninja reached base and seven different players scored a run. The debuting Nick F. earned the Medallion of Strength MVP award for outstanding pitching and bunting a double. The ambitious Rob M. received the Sword of Honor for overrunning third base and attempting to breakthrough the third baseman to try and conquer the third base bag.

The Ninjas continued their Week 2 excellence in the bar, coasting to back to back flip cup table victories, using the team of Mike, Christie, Jen, Dave and Paul. It was definitely a team effort. However, the victory on the field was short lived, as according to Head Ninja Paul L. "Some genius at the bar decided to play “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga, a song that gets stuck in your head like the 28 Days Later virus. I thought it was gone, and boom, now it’s back. There has to be some way to get that song out of my head – a drug, someone hit me in the temple with a hammer, something."

Paul was not the only one wanting to forget something from last week. As for the Wakadamia Nuts, who valiantly endured the drubbing, it was tough week. To quote Captain Adam B. "It waas a sloppy mess so I'm not sure who scored." Still, he vowed they will return with a vengeance. He further explained, "We want their love, and we want their revenge. We don't wanna be friends. We want a bad, A BAD ROMANCE."

Paul L and Adam B contributed to this report.


Ball Busters 5 over Allen Club 0 (Forfeit)

Unfortunately, Allen Club was unable to field a complete team (4 males, 4 females) by 6:45, so

they suffered the league's first forfeited game. However,this fact, and the weather did not

dampen either teams spirits, as the Allen Club (with the help of some Ball Busters initially) and Ball Busters took part in a lively affair that turned out to be a 9-5 affair.

For the Allen Club, all good things must come to an end. Such went the

way of Allen Club’s 9 game regular season unbeaten streak. Going into the game low on players but high on hope and heart, Allen Club put forth an effort that would come up just short on that rainy summer night. Chef Jillian and Soccer Star Steph provided ferocious, gold-glove caliber defense at the corner infield positions. The One & Only Anita proved yet again to be a true on-base threat at the top of the lineup. Budweiser Brendan spent his night displaying his incredible range in the outfield, while Sarah, the Better Half of

Budweiser Brendan, showed that rookie shortstops can succeed at the highest level of kickball. Trainer Earl T. Strong arrived in the 2nd inning, driving fear into the collective heart of the Ball Busters and leading the way to a 5 run rally. Traffic couldn’t stop

the Loch Ness, Scoville the Red and Margarita Steve from providing some late pop to the lineup. But alas, it wouldn’t be enough to overcome the competition. When asked what happened, player-coach First Mate Dennis said “Well, we came up just short tonight. What’s important though is that we had fun… fun like I’ll be having every Friday and Saturday night all summer long onboard the MV Provincetown II after purchasing my tickets at BayStateCruiseCompany.com.” Well said coach.

As for the Ball Busters, they did not take the gimme lightly either. This was exemplified by Ball Buster Captain Tom, diving head first into first base, only to level the Allen Club first base woman. Since no one was hurt, it was hilarious. Said Tom, "It was perfect sliding conditions. I didn't even realize she was standing at first. I'm sooooo sorry." Still, despite the collision, he was impressed the the Ball Busters effort. Runs scored by Tara, Richie, Liz, Tom, Greg, Erica, Lindsay, Ilana and John. "There were a couple RBI flyouts by Adam and Jamie, we like to call that smart kickball...productive outs are what win the games" said Tom, who then added, "Oh and did I mention I'm sorry."

Tom and Dennis contributed to this report.


PART III: "Watch the damned (God bless ya). They're gonna break their chains (hey). No, you can't stop them (God bless ya).They're coming to get you and then you'll get your, Balls to the wall, man. Balls to the wall" - Accept

7:15 Games

CareScout 4 over Shenanigans 3

In what was the closest of last Thursday's games, CareScout pulled out a thrilling last inning victory over Shenanigans.

The game featured strong pitching as Matt kept the Shenanigans kickers off-balance with his sidearm lefty delivery. Still they were able to scratch a run out in the first thanks as Dan P scored Gabe B, after a nice sacrifice by Jen.

The CareScout offense was held in check by solid defense lead by Jeff, Scott, Jad, Ally, Laurie Cat and Kelly. In the 3rd, Shenanigans scratched out another run as Gabe B scored again, this time driven in by O'Toole.

CareScout got a run in the top of the 4th, and Shenanigans responded with what was at the time a crucial insurance run as Juan scored on a kick by Pat.
It was the top of the 5th when CareScout broke out the boots. Andrew B's deep kick brought in Alex and Josh to tie the game at 3-3. A 2-out hit by Vickie B broke the deadlock to take the lead. Shenanigans mounted a rally, loading the bases with two outs, and it took an outstanding catch by Alex to end the game and seal the thrilling victory.Despite the loss, Shenanigans Captain Kelly C was buoyed by the strong pitching and defense. CareScout Captain Dave C was thrilled to be 2-0 this early in the season.

Dave C and Kelly C contributed to this report.

Looking to Score 8 over Kicked to the Curb 2

Sometimes life is really like Transformers, (More the 1980's cartoon,

rather than the Michael Bay plot-less sensory rapers) things are more than meets the eye. At first blush, a 7 -2 victory by last year's league champions over the winless Kicked to the Curb, would seem like it was an easy game. However, in reality LTS had to play some of it's best kickball of this young season in order to hold off a fiesty and game challenger.

LTS came out of the gates quickly, scoring 3 runs in the top of the 1st thanks to a single by Alina, and back to back home runs by Mike F and

BDO. A 4th run was added in the 3rd inning thanks to a double by Jay K to lead off the inning than sacrifice hits by Chris b and Jeff.

After the initial onslaught, KTTC regrouped, and lead by Eli J, and Elaine L, who both made some stellar defensive plays, including a stabbing cradle catch by Elaine, KTTC was able to slow the LTS offense. Lead by Matt, Andrew and John S, the offense scored two

runs, cutting the lead from 4-0 to 4-2. Then in the fourth inning, with two runners on John S. booted what surely would have been at least a 'Das Boot' triple, only to see his tremendous kick turn into a tremendous out by Jay P who tracked the ball down and made a spectacular catch at full speed.

This turned the momentum finally into LTS' favor as in the 5th inning they were able to add much needed insurance runs. . Richard and alina both got on with singles, then a bases clearing triple by ben k, followed by a single from Mike F to score Ben K, and a double by BDO to score Mike F, broke the game open to 8-2, which finally proved too much for KTTC.

Ben K and Matt B contributed to this report.

PART IV: "Nobody warned you, Nobody told you, to make up your mind.Nobody told you, that I could just walk through and shake up your style. I'm Inside, like a wrecking ball through your mind,and I change it all from inside." - Interpol

Standings after 2 Weeks:

(Win, Loss, Tie, Forfeit, Winning Percentage, Runs Allowed)

1.) Looking to Score 2-0-0-0 1.000% 2
2.) Ball Busters 2-0-0-0 1.000% 3
3.) Care Scout 2-0-0-0 1.000% 4
6.) Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 1-1-0-0 .500% 6
3.) Allen Club 1-0-0-1 .130% 8
5.) Shenanigans 0-2-0-0 0.000% 8
6.) Kicked to the Curb 0-2-0-0 0.000% 13
8.) Wakademia Nuts 0-2-0-0 0.000% 17

Week 3 Schedule:

6:30PM
Diamond:
Shenanigans v. Ball Busters
(Ump:Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas)

Grass:
Kicked to the Curb v.Wakademia Nuts
(Ump:Care Scout)

7:15PM
Diamond:
Allen Clubv.Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas
(Ump:Ball Busters)

Grass:
Care Scout v.Looking to Score
(Ump: Kicked to the Curb)


PART IV: "Lets have a ball and a biscuit sugar. And take our sweet little time about it.
Tell everyone in the place just to get out. Well get clean together. And I'll find a soapbox where I can shout it." - The White Stripes

Announcements, Announcements, Announcements:

WEATHER: As always, Thursday appears to be the one day in the week with a threat of rain. The forecast looks to have rain in the morning with a dry afternoon. We should be able to play. However stay close to your emails just in case Mother Nature changes her mind, which of course she has every right to do.

HEALTH: To reiterate Tom's point, please all members should take adequate precautions to prevent injuries. Obviously kickball is not the most taxing sport physically, like any exercise it should be after a proper warm up. Stretching is key. We want everyone to be healthy and safe.

FOOTWEAR: Since we may be dealing with a wet field, cleats are perfectly acceptable and allowed under WAKA rules, as long as they are not metal cleats. So leave your Mt. Everest Climbing cleats at home, but plastic cleats are perfectly acceptable.

BOCA BAR: Remeber please join us after every game at our League Partner this year will beThe Boca Bar. Great times. Great food. Better drinks and best friends.

LEAGUE CHARITY: News will be forthcoming regarding the league charity. Please stay tuned.

PICTURES: League members are encouraged to bring their cameras and send their pics to me at this address macommonwealthwaka@gmail.com Both game action and Boca Bar action are greatly appreciated. Please check out this blog's archives for examples of past seasons. Tip of the cap to Paul for contributing photos this week.

PART IV: "Baby, baby drove up in a Cadillac. I said, "Jesus Christ! Where'd you get that Cadillac?" She said, "Balls to you, Daddy." She ain't never coming back!" - The Clash

Will we play or won't we? Only time and Mother Nature can tell. Whichever way the kickball bounces, whether we get in the games, or end up in at the Boca Bar early, either way, we will have a blast...I mean, um, er, a ball. (Giggles)

- David, GMOT Editor, Team Shenanigans