THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE MA COMMONWEALTH DIVISION
"And on Thursday the Lord created Kickball. And there was much bouncing" - Book of Genesis (Outtakes)
WEEK ONE: " I’ve been waiting for a long time, for this moment to come. I’m destined for anything at all.” - Green Day
Table of Contents:I: Like George and Jerry trying to write a pilot.
II: A Veritable Sword Fest
III: Everything from Pizza to Nuts
IV: Schedule and Standings
V: Announcements
VI: Finish Your Own Damn Newsletter
PART I: "The waiting in the hardest part. Every day you see one more card. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part.” - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
It has been said that necessity is the mother of invention. But I would amend that statement slightly to "the necessity to procrastinate is the mother of invention." Whether at work or at home, putting things off is and indelible part of our national identity. The US may be taking a
It has been said that necessity is the mother of invention. But I would amend that statement slightly to "the necessity to procrastinate is the mother of invention." Whether at work or at home, putting things off is and indelible part of our national identity. The US may be taking a
lot of hits around the world, but we still lead the world in procrastination. As a species, humanity has continually invented pastimes like hockey, baseball, scrimshaw, (but not kickball, since Kickball is the reason we were put on this planet by the benevolent creator. Don’t you read your Bible Outtakes?) the Renaissance, the internet and internet porn, MyFaceSpace, just to put off the stuff that we need to do...eventually.
Even some of the greatest minds in our history were great procrastinators. Our Founding Fathers are perfect examples. The system of governance they left us is the epitome of putting things off. Truly a Patriotic American is a Procrastinating American. Thomas Jefferson was such the procrastinor that when he was tasked to write the Declaration of Independence, he started writing the thing by inventing the swivel chair. Instead getting right to penning the document that would severe our ties to Great Britain, he invented a chair so he could sit in
an spin himself in circles, much in the same way everyone does once in awhile in the office, when no one is looking. If he hadn’t procrastinated, we could be
celebrating July 4th today on June 3nd! What a brave new world that would have been (earlier freedom and chairs that don't swivel. Dare we dream?)!
See, procrastination is every bit American as apple pie, baseball, and calling things that we don't like “un-American.” Just look at the past two paragraphs, instead of getting into the great kickball action that happened in week one, I’ve been writing about putting off writing about it. U-S-A! U-S-A!
PART II: "Anticipation. Anticipation. Is making me late. Is keeping me waiting." - Carly Simon
6:30pm Games:
Looking To Score 5 over Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 0
In the Opening Game of the season the Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas were ready to
6:30pm Games:
Looking To Score 5 over Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 0
In the Opening Game of the season the Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas were ready to
deliver the crescent kick of victory to their opponents. No team in the history of Commonwealth Division has ever looked so much like a team on a mission. Coordinated socks, headbands and a matching attitude – how could they lose?
Surprisingly easily, as they soon found out, running up against last year’s league Champion and Juggernaut, Looking to Score.
On the tall, weedy grass in the northwest corner of the park, Looking to Score came out with 4 runs in the top of the first. Mike and Alina lead off with singles, Ben K belted a double scoring one. Mike F lined a single, scoring two runs, but the Ninjas made a nice play getting the over aggressive Mike thrown out at second.
Surprisingly easily, as they soon found out, running up against last year’s league Champion and Juggernaut, Looking to Score.
On the tall, weedy grass in the northwest corner of the park, Looking to Score came out with 4 runs in the top of the first. Mike and Alina lead off with singles, Ben K belted a double scoring one. Mike F lined a single, scoring two runs, but the Ninjas made a nice play getting the over aggressive Mike thrown out at second.
BDO then launched a home run to lead finish the opening salvo.
Both teams clamped down on the defense after that, with Looking to Score pushing a run across in the fourth, for the rest of the scoring. For LTS it was an all around team effort on defense with everyone contributing for the 15 outs needed to complete the shutout.
As for the Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas, watching the rest of the game was like prom night at a motel – plenty of fumbling around, no real game plan and over too quick. Still, the game was not without its pluses. Co-captain Lauren F pitched a shut out inning, which was sweet. Rob, Susan, Jo, Vinay, Katie W, Paige, Andrew, Katie Z, Dave, Christie, Brandon all provided stellar defense throughout the game.
Both teams clamped down on the defense after that, with Looking to Score pushing a run across in the fourth, for the rest of the scoring. For LTS it was an all around team effort on defense with everyone contributing for the 15 outs needed to complete the shutout.
As for the Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas, watching the rest of the game was like prom night at a motel – plenty of fumbling around, no real game plan and over too quick. Still, the game was not without its pluses. Co-captain Lauren F pitched a shut out inning, which was sweet. Rob, Susan, Jo, Vinay, Katie W, Paige, Andrew, Katie Z, Dave, Christie, Brandon all provided stellar defense throughout the game.
According to Head Ninja Paul L, “The MVP was going to be awarded to whomever provided the most amazing run scoring play, but for that to happen, your team needs to score a run. Instead, our team awards were given out for more creative reasons. The invaluable Mike G. earned the first Medallion of Strength MVP award for turning a tumbling double play in the outfield. The courageous Jen E received the first Sword of Honor for her most Ninja-like play
for her combination slide and striking kick tackle while heading into second base. Yeah, she was called out, but so what – she has a sword. Jealous?”
Still the lack of offense was baffling to the otherwise coordinated Ninjas. Yet, Head Ninja Paul did not seem too worried. “ The biggest question of the night was not about the offense, but why was there a plantain in my burrito?” When pressed, he went on to say, “ Thinking back, this reminds me of a similar team that started auspiciously. Who? The Mighty Freakin Ducks, that’s who. When the Mighty Ducks played the big, bad Hawks the first time around, they got crushed to the tune of 17-0, so we Ninjas
actually did a whole lot better. In a sense, all the Ninjas need is a street wise kid who has a “knuckle-puck” style pitch, the villain from Lethal Weapon 2 to give us new gear and game time wisdom from a sage-like Emilio Estevez. See you in the finals, you cake-eaters.”
So there you have it. LTS won 5-0, and the Ninjas Marie Antoinetted them, by calling them Cake Eaters. This should prove to be an interesting rivalry and definitely bears watching.
Paul and “Pudgerod3” contributed to this report.
CareScout 5 over Kicked to the Curb 1
So there you have it. LTS won 5-0, and the Ninjas Marie Antoinetted them, by calling them Cake Eaters. This should prove to be an interesting rivalry and definitely bears watching.
Paul and “Pudgerod3” contributed to this report.
CareScout 5 over Kicked to the Curb 1
The second 6:30 game featured two newcomers to the League. CareScouts handed Kicked to the Curb a 5 to 1 defeat. CareScouts jumped out to an early 2-0 lead, and then handed the keys to the defense, where they were lead by a spectacular falling down catch by Alex to quell a Kicked to the Curb rally, and to the master Dave P, who locked down second base, including three consecutive catches to stymie the opposition.
Pleased with the victory, CareScout team captain Dave C remarked, “ I would like to commend my whole team for figuring out who was playing what position each inning and making sure that everyone played….that was the hardest part of the game!”As for Kicked to the Curb, the newcomers were intimidated by
Care Scout’s part-time Oakley Shades model turned pitcher, and befuddled by a relentless bunt attack. However as the game wore on and Kicked to the Curb got it’s feet back under them, after being kicked to the curb in the first inning, there were some things that KTTC can build on. Ledum N kicked the first triple in franchise history as well as made a solo double play. Andrew W. and Team Captain Matt B. are batting 1.000, Sarah J and Jaclyn L made key defensive stops that kept the game relatively close. Said KTTC Captain Matt B. “Look for us to learn from our mistakes and put a few more runs on the board next week.”
Dave C. and Matt B. contributed to this report.
PART III: "The waiting drove me made. You’re finally here and I’m a mess, take your entrance back.” - Pearl Jam
7:15 Games
Allen Club 4 over Shenanigans 2
Allen Club who authored an undefeated regular season last year, only to succumb in the first round of the playoffs, are definitely on a mission. Not only to fulfill last season’s promise, but to fill the hearts and bellys of anyone with an appetite with Papa Gino’s pizza.Up against Shenanigans, Captain Allen and the Club started in a hole. Thanks to Ryan L, Gabe B, and clutch kicking by Jen G, Shenanigan’s Captain Kelly C had much to smile about after the top of the first, as they posted a 2 run lead. Shenanigans defense lead by Jeff, Cat and Scott were playing tough and stifled the Allen Club early.
However, even down, the Allen Club knew the efforts of the team would prevail. Wild
Woman Casey was giving 110% (edit note: A metaphysical impossibility) effort at 3rd. This effort paid off as Scoville the Red and Kingsley were get a run across.
With new life, Allen Club ratcheted up the defense, as Barry and his Lock Ness Monster held the Shenanigans at bay in the top of the 3rd. The bottom of the third brought a trifecta of runs for Allen Club, like an ESPN 360 commercially changing into one for ESPN 3. The One & Only Anita risked life and limb with her aggressive base-running and face/plant acrobatic slide. She scored on a triple from Former Legendary Bartender Ryan of U-MASS Amhert’s “The Pub”. Ryan scored following two precision kicks from Dean and MD.
With the lead secured, Allen Club clamped down. Captain Joshua was quoted as saying “You can’t win a WAKA game if you can’t clamp down on defense.” (gitalong, gitalong) As if to prove this point, Ms. Anna Mae and Chef Jillian kept the defense strong, and Margarita Steve got his blender in gear to make a lunging catch in the outfield to secure the victory.
With new life, Allen Club ratcheted up the defense, as Barry and his Lock Ness Monster held the Shenanigans at bay in the top of the 3rd. The bottom of the third brought a trifecta of runs for Allen Club, like an ESPN 360 commercially changing into one for ESPN 3. The One & Only Anita risked life and limb with her aggressive base-running and face/plant acrobatic slide. She scored on a triple from Former Legendary Bartender Ryan of U-MASS Amhert’s “The Pub”. Ryan scored following two precision kicks from Dean and MD.
With the lead secured, Allen Club clamped down. Captain Joshua was quoted as saying “You can’t win a WAKA game if you can’t clamp down on defense.” (gitalong, gitalong) As if to prove this point, Ms. Anna Mae and Chef Jillian kept the defense strong, and Margarita Steve got his blender in gear to make a lunging catch in the outfield to secure the victory.For the Allen Club the Papa Gino’s players of the game were The One & Only Anita and Margarita Steve. All in All, Allen Club Kickball rallyed around Papa Gino's new Rustic Meal Deal, which combines the bold taste of rustic pizza with a traditional thin crust cheese pizza for only $19.99. It has something for everyone, just like the two Players of the Game. Pick up yours today (or Thursday on your way back from brews at the Boca Bar).
As for Shenanigans, they hope to regroup and build upon the positives of the week, and possibly check out what deals they can get from Papa Johns or the Upper Crust.
Joshua A and Kelly C contributed to this report.
Ball Busters 7 def Wakadamia Nuts 3
In what could be considered one of the most entertaining games of the evening (at least in the top 4!) Ball Busters defeated Wakadamia Nuts in stunning fashion.
Ball Busters 7 def Wakadamia Nuts 3
In what could be considered one of the most entertaining games of the evening (at least in the top 4!) Ball Busters defeated Wakadamia Nuts in stunning fashion.
The game started of tamely, as it took both teams a couple of innings to get on track. Wakadamia struck first in the bottom of the third.
Nick, Jon P, and Andrew K. got things started off with back-to-back-to-back singles with Andrew bringing Nick home for the 1-0 lead. Karen set things up by moving the runners to 2nd and 3rd and a clutch double from Justin plated Jon P. and Andrew K. for the 3-0 lead. It appeared to be a comfortable lead, but as recent tragic sporting events have excruciatingly taught us, 3-0 leads are not always the safest.
Nick, Jon P, and Andrew K. got things started off with back-to-back-to-back singles with Andrew bringing Nick home for the 1-0 lead. Karen set things up by moving the runners to 2nd and 3rd and a clutch double from Justin plated Jon P. and Andrew K. for the 3-0 lead. It appeared to be a comfortable lead, but as recent tragic sporting events have excruciatingly taught us, 3-0 leads are not always the safest.
Still, the Nuts cruised through the fourth inning and just needed to close out the Ball Busters in the top of the 5th to secure their inaugural win. However, the Ball Busters it appears had just been lulling the Nuts to sleep. “Right where we want them” was over heard on the Ball Busters bench.
In the top of the 5th, Amy, Toni and John C. loaded the bases to start. Tara knocked in a run to make it 3-1. Richie hit a sac fly. With one out the score was 3-2 with runners on 2nd and 3rd. Tom C. kicked a two run double with the help of Tara's EPIC SLIDE into home. Tom scored on Max' kick, Max on Adam's kick
In the top of the 5th, Amy, Toni and John C. loaded the bases to start. Tara knocked in a run to make it 3-1. Richie hit a sac fly. With one out the score was 3-2 with runners on 2nd and 3rd. Tom C. kicked a two run double with the help of Tara's EPIC SLIDE into home. Tom scored on Max' kick, Max on Adam's kick
and Adam on Mike C.'s kick. In seemingly the time it takes one to down two shots of happy and one shot of sad, a 3-0 Wakadamia Nuts lead had turned into a 7-3 Ball Busters lead.
Stunned, but not quite unconscious, the Wakadamia Nuts attempted to rally. They got the first runner of the inning on, but then Kristy made a crazy great running catch and we were able to double them up at first base. Richie caught the final out, dropping the Nuts in the first game of the season.
Ball Buster victory was not limited to the field of play. Shenanigans made a valiant attempt to dethrone them at the Boca Bar, but Greg S and Shoeless Tom C. held on and closed down the bar.
Tom C. and Adam B. contributed to this report.
PART IV: "I wanna hurry home to you, put on a slow dumb show for you and crack you up, so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain.” - The National
Standings: (Win, Loss, Tie, Forfeit, Winning Percentage, Runs Allowed)
1.) Looking to Score 1-0-0-0 1.000% 0
2.) Care Scout 1-0-0-0 1.000% 1
3.) Allen Club 1-0-0-0 1.000% 2
4.) Ball Busters 1-0-0-0 1.000% 3
5.) Shenanigans 0-1-0-0 0.000% 4
6.) Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 0-1-0-0 0.000% 5
6.) Kicked to the Curb 0-1-0-0 0.000% 5
8.) Wakademia Nuts 0-1-0-0 0.000% 7
Week 2 Schedule:
6:30PM
Diamond:
Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas v. Wakademia Nuts
(Ump: Care Scout)
Grass:
Allen Club v. Ball Busters
Allen Club v. Ball Busters
(Ump: Looking to Score)
7:15PM
Diamond:
Shenanigans v. Care Scout
7:15PM
Diamond:
Shenanigans v. Care Scout
(Ump:Wakademia Nuts)
Grass:
Kicked to the Curb v. Looking to Score
Kicked to the Curb v. Looking to Score
(Ump: Allen Club)
PART IV: "Take a load off Fannie. Take a load for free. Take a load off Fannie, and put the load right on me. ” - The Band
Announcements, Announcements, Announcements:
BOCA BAR: Remeber please join us after every game at our League Partner this year will be
PART IV: "Take a load off Fannie. Take a load for free. Take a load off Fannie, and put the load right on me. ” - The Band
Announcements, Announcements, Announcements:
BOCA BAR: Remeber please join us after every game at our League Partner this year will be
The Boca Bar. Great times. Great food. Better drinks and best friends.
LEAGUE POSITIONS: First, get your mind out of the gutter. That is not what I mean. In order for any season to run smoothly you need steady hands to guide it. And if you saw our League Rep Tom Caddigan close the Boca Bar after last Thursday’s games, steady hands he has not. (And if you saw me type this, neither are mine.) We need volunteers to step up and help run this season. Like...
LEAGUE CHARITY: Kickball, unlike life, is not all fun and games. Every year WAKA Leagues all over the country engage in meaningful charitable endeavors to marry the spirit of fun and comeradery with the greater good. Every year this league chooses one local charity to make a donation on behalf of the league to help out where we can. Thus, we are soliciting for a Charity Coordinator, who will pick the charity, devise a devious fundraiser, and be the bearer of good will and hope that kickball can bring. If you work for or participate in a local charity, or know of a good cause, please contact Tom.
PARTY PARTY PARTY: Another extremely important position in the league is Social Coordinator. This is probably more important than Tom’s job and my job combined, in the grand schemed? Why? Because that person gets a wad of cash on which to spend on our lavish league Mid Season and End of Season Parties. Free Beer. Free Food. Exclusivity to our league, and a real blast. It took til November of last year for my liver to recover from the Flip Cup
LEAGUE POSITIONS: First, get your mind out of the gutter. That is not what I mean. In order for any season to run smoothly you need steady hands to guide it. And if you saw our League Rep Tom Caddigan close the Boca Bar after last Thursday’s games, steady hands he has not. (And if you saw me type this, neither are mine.) We need volunteers to step up and help run this season. Like...
LEAGUE CHARITY: Kickball, unlike life, is not all fun and games. Every year WAKA Leagues all over the country engage in meaningful charitable endeavors to marry the spirit of fun and comeradery with the greater good. Every year this league chooses one local charity to make a donation on behalf of the league to help out where we can. Thus, we are soliciting for a Charity Coordinator, who will pick the charity, devise a devious fundraiser, and be the bearer of good will and hope that kickball can bring. If you work for or participate in a local charity, or know of a good cause, please contact Tom.
PARTY PARTY PARTY: Another extremely important position in the league is Social Coordinator. This is probably more important than Tom’s job and my job combined, in the grand schemed? Why? Because that person gets a wad of cash on which to spend on our lavish league Mid Season and End of Season Parties. Free Beer. Free Food. Exclusivity to our league, and a real blast. It took til November of last year for my liver to recover from the Flip Cup
Tournament at the Mid Season Party Last Year. Tom and I could plan it, but we’d end up just passing around a forty and some mescal in the flatbed of a 1972 Datsun while eating mustard packets and blasting NPR. So if you are partily inclined or have deep connections with a local drinking establishment with a private room, or just want to plan a good time, contact Tom. The sooner we get a coordinator the sooner we can plan the party dates.
PICTURES: League members are encouraged to bring their cameras and send their pics to me at this address macommonwealthwaka@gmail.com Both game action and Boca Bar action are greatly appreciated. Please check out this blog's archives for examples of past seasons. Tip of the cap to Jeff, Andrew, Adam and Tom for contributing photos this week.
WEATHER: Forecast for this afternoon is scattered Thunderstorms. Come prepared to play.
PART IV: " While I’m strolling through the lonely graveyard of my mind. I left my life with you somewhere back there along the line. I thought somehow I would be spared this fate. But I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” - Bob Dylan
So in the time I should have been writing this newsletter, I’ve napped, read War and Peace,
PICTURES: League members are encouraged to bring their cameras and send their pics to me at this address macommonwealthwaka@gmail.com Both game action and Boca Bar action are greatly appreciated. Please check out this blog's archives for examples of past seasons. Tip of the cap to Jeff, Andrew, Adam and Tom for contributing photos this week.
WEATHER: Forecast for this afternoon is scattered Thunderstorms. Come prepared to play.
PART IV: " While I’m strolling through the lonely graveyard of my mind. I left my life with you somewhere back there along the line. I thought somehow I would be spared this fate. But I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” - Bob Dylan
So in the time I should have been writing this newsletter, I’ve napped, read War and Peace,
solved both the JFK assassination and where do missing socks go (surprisingly it’s France. Who knew?). But enough procrastinating. Week 1 is over, and Week 2 is here. The Grind, (no not the MTV dance show of the early 90’s that set male dancing back several decades) of the kickball season is upon us. It’s time to buckle down, focus, put our feet to rubber balls, noses to frothy beer and continue on the march towards ETERNAL KICKBALL GLORY. But first who wants to go to Dunks with me and get some coffee? Can’t start anything proper without coffee, and reading Doonesbury,perhaps a nap, then maybe get some pizza (Damn you Allen Club!), oh and gotta check Puck Daddy, Perez Hilton, and The Onion, plus I gotta tweet the update on my facespace page that I’m beginning to think about starting to march towards Eternal Kickball Glory...........
- David, GMOT Editor, Team Shenanigans
