Ghost Man on Third: Spring Edition

A Nu Start

Insert reference to "The Distance" by Cake here.

As a word-writing person, I love symbolism. When the dark events of April 15th occurred, I wrote in this newsletter about the failings of words, except for one word: Hope. Whether consciously or not, the idea of hope has always just been beneath the surface of this newsletter this season. Perhaps it was simply because it was spring, and spring has always been a symbol for hope, a new beginning or a new start.

Tonight the season starts again. The playoffs are a time for hope. Face it, people like the underdog. The come back story has delighted men, women, children and various species of hyrax (not to be confused with Hydrox, which should be considered OG Oreos) since Homer (Not Simpson) first told the story of Odysseus. Everyone loves to see someone succeed against all odds, usually for some noble principle or purpose, accompanied by a faithful sidekick or group of sidekicks, as well as some sort of love interest. And there's a montage. Always a montage.

Anyway, good luck tonight to everyone as they look for their own new start. However just do not blue yourself prematurely, as that license plate is already taken.

Uncle Joe Biden's Big Fucking Deals

End of Season Party is This Friday at Wave Bar in Waltham. Info Here!

Space is still available for the Waltham Summer League! Register Here!

So You Want to Know a Kickball Star

She's got a license to kick.

Alyssa of Brief Student Concerns was volunteered by her captain, Katie C, to be the focus of this week's probing SYWTKAKS feature. After I interviewed her to get the basics, I began to write down my notes. As I was sipping my traditional "Blog Writing Bourbon" I heard a rapping upon my chamber door. Half expecting a raven, since before my traditional blog writing bourbon, I'd sipped an even more traditional "Procrasturbating Absinthe" so my mind was addled with the faux hallucinatory effects of wormwood and the smug self satisfaction of drinking absinthe, I was mildy disappointed to find a man in a dark suit, dark sunglasses and darker disposition, instead of some ghastly illusion ~~allusion to~~ of Poe.

"Are you the author of the So You Want to Know a Kickball Star feature that runs in the Award Winning MA Commonwealth 'Ghost Man on Third' newsletter?" He intoned.

"Yes" I replied.

"I'm from the firm of Zuckercorn, Lizer and Loblaw" He said. "We represent Buster Tobias Maharis Bananagrabber and are giving you a cease and desist letter."

"Who?" I asked, not knowing the game. The man at the door showed me a picture of my monkey butler, who left me a few weeks ago to embark on a successful writing career.

"Him?" I asked.

The right stuff

"Yes. Mr. Bananagrabber has stated that he came up with the idea and that you have been ripping him off without proper compensation. He'll see you in court." And with that he walked away from my door.

I stood there flummoxed and flabbergasted. First off, it was quite a law bomb that was lobbed at me by Loblaw. Second, I'm pretty sure that monkeys don't have legal standing to sue. Third, I hoped I kept animation rights. Still not wanting to draw the ire of the formidable law team that my former monkey butler had assembled I hastily called up Alyssa wanting to do another interview. This however would not concern her sordid and adventurous past as an operative for the Israel Military,a Double O member of British Secret Service and as a Swedish author asked to investigate a decades old death with a young social outcast tattooed hacker that may or may not have been the acting career of Daniel Craig past, but the upcoming kickball playoffs.

When she answered her ICQ she asked again who the fuck was I? When I explained to her, who I was, we must have lost power because she never responded. Though next time I suppose I should not be wearing my "I'm an Analrapist" badge from my Tobias Funke costume from last Sunday. I've made a terrible mistake.

Shit You Should Know

This could end a game in the playoffs

That said, there are some important rule changes for the playoffs. For a full reading of the Tournament Rules check here.

Teams are asked to have written lineups to exchange with each other.

Since extra innings are a possibility, games must start within 15 minutes of the allotted time. Failure to field a minimal team within that 15 minute grace period (4 males, 4 females) will result in a forfeit.

In the event of extra innings, the last kicker to make an out will be placed on second base. The defense will have maximum four male and four female players.

If time expires, and the game remains tied, the game is decided by rock paper scissors between 3 representatives from each team. (Best 2 out of 3).

For a full reading of the Tournament Rules check here.

Games You People Played In

Netwon Benchmarks over Booze on First 6-1

Worst game of twister ever.

The Newton Benchmarks won a game. Superstar Jesse kicked that ball with power. Supermodel Lynette ran home and was happier than a kid at a candy store. Emma played with skill and grace. Great to see Eric play and help the team. Score was 6-0. We are getting better. We will be returning next season to fight for the gold! - David G

Booze on First was looking for victory number 3 on the season but things didn't go as planned. We got off to a rough start defensively as numerous balls landed in between us allowing the Benchmarks to get an early lead on route to their first victory. Frank the Tank was trying extra hard at shortstop as he was hoping an impressive showing in the game would allow him to get out reffing home for the late game. Needless to say Frank still had to ref. Andrew was robbed of an extra base hit on a great defensive play by the Benchmarks first basemen. Tracy and Natalie each played well as solid kicking allowed them to be virtually our only base runners. - Sam B.

At least he got lei'd

Sacks N Racks Tie Frank's Little Beautes 1-1
Sacks N Racks over Frank's LIttle Beauties 9-1
Franks Little Uglies struggled to score in both games of their double header against Sacks N Racks, plating only one run in each of the two games. The defense held tight in the first game, clawing out a tie, clinching the first seed in the playoffs. Sacks took it to Franks early and often in the second game, as Franks usually tight defense showed some holes. Not a great showing by FLBs - Chris T.

Brief Student Concerns over Ninja Island 3-2
Ninja Island over Newton Benchmarks 5-2

It was a split evening for the Ninjas, split like a melon sliced by a Katana. After another hard fought battle with Brief Student Concerns which was lost

Run Jenny Run

Just a great shot by Tim.

narrowly, the Ninjas rebounded by defeating the Newton Benchmarks. Ninjas made some plays and would have won awards if I'd been there. But I wasn't because I was soaking myself in BBQ sauce. Don't judge. - David M.

Song or Video that Interests Me (And Probably Only Me)

Has anyone in this kickball league ever seen a chicken?