Ghost Man on Third: The Cheap Facade Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"The Red Kickball Held Illimitable Dominion Over All"  

WEEK SIX: "You dress up for Armageddon. I dress up for the summer" - The Hives

Table of Contents: 

I: Let the Spectacle Astound You
II: Why So Silent, Good Messieurs?

III: Bee Girl, Bee Boy Be Whomever You Want 
IV: The Masque of the Red Kickball

V: You Can't See Us or Almost Hit Us

VI: Standings and Schedule 

VII: Announcements

VIII: The Reveal

PART I: "Masquerade! Paper faces on parade. Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a different shade. Masquerade! Look around - there's another mask behind you" - The Phantom of the Opera

MA COMMONWEALTH MIDSEASON PARTY

When: THIS FRIDAY July 13th, 2012 - 7:30pm

Where: An Tua Nua 

Who: Registered Commonwealth Division Members (Free) Guests ($5)

Remember one and all, to come and enjoy the MA Commonwealth MidSeason Party. It's a Halloween Theme, and there will be a costume contest with prizes, as well as free beer! Be There! 

PART II: "I want to reconcile the violence in your heart.I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask. I want to exorcise the demons from your past. I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart" - Muse

RIVALRY CHALLENGE WEEK! - TWO WEEKS AWAY!

Kickabrigians, in three weeks, will be the first week of playoffs and the start of the final push towards IMMORTAL KICKBALL GLORY. But before that comes the magical, wonderful, mysterious, madcapped week known as Rivalry Challenge Week. Have a grudge? Want revenge for a close loss? What to try and improve your position for the playoffs? Well we settle all that with Rivalry Challenge Week!


A weighted drawing will occur based on reverse standings. 8th place team gets 8 chances in the drawing. 7th place gets 7, and so on. Then as a team is drawn, they choose their opponent. The opponent chooses time and field. And then the trash talk begins! 


Drawing will take place after the last game on Thursday the 19th, and schedule will be posted and sent to captains shortly thereafter. 

PART II: "M-m-m-MASK! Is the mighty power that can save the day, m-m-m-MASK! No-one knows what lies behind their masquerades!" - Theme from M.A.S.K.

As past readers may remember (okay, I doubt you'll remember, because I doubt people actually read this far, and if they do, it is not when they are sober or coherent. I sure as hell am neither when I write this) I am a card-carrying Procrastinatarian, well I would be if I ever got around to designing and printing out the card. Putting things off for me is both an art-form and my patriotic duty. Well, as I thought about what to wear to the Mid Season party this week, I had vivid flashbacks to Halloweens past, where I would literally have my costume chosen for me by the dwindling inventory of Ye Olde Costume Shoppe. This would result in young Mr. David, indulging in the orgy of costumed candy extortion and commercialism that Halloween has become, dressed as the most boring, least interesting costumes known to man (I think one year I went as C. Everett Koop), or at worst dressed in those cheap plastic costumes for the latest craze marketing cartoon that were all the rage during the Reagan Administration. (M.A.S.K. Go-Bots. Transformers. He-Man. Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles. GI Joe). Of course by the time I got around to going to get my costume, I wouldn't be Optimus Prime or He-Man, but  I'd end up as Buzz Off, or Admiral Keelhaul (sans rockin porn stache). Not that it mattered, because most adults didn't know or care what you were, they just wanted you off their lawn as fast as possible before you egged their door or cars. Even when I was old enough to know better, that to have a great costume, I'd need to plan ahead, I still didn't. One year in college I showed up at a Halloween Costume party in a Sox cap and Bruins jersey (which was only different from my normal daily attire, because I HAD THE HAT ON BACKWARDS), saying "I'm The Rick from a series of ESPN Commericals. Now where's the booze and the babes?" (Dramatization. Does not depict actual quote by me. Save for The Rick part)

Of course, as I've matured, I don't regret my lack of ambition in my Halloweening. Instead I accepted my Procrastinariasm, fully. So while I am excited for our Mid Season Halloween Party to see the costumes this crazy bunch of kickball nuts can come up with, I can assure you that I haven't even begun to get my costume ready. Which is how it should be. U-S-A! U-S-A! 

However, just because I'm procrastinating as is my nature, doesn't mean that I've not thought long and hard about this party. In fact, when trying to not work the other day, I contacted a guy who has a friend who owns a monkey. Well the monkey's former owner was this dude who was a second or third cousin (didn't bother to find out) of this woman in Reno, who had her hair done by another guy who once saw a man walking across a street in Las Vegas going to a sports book. So that guy (which one?) gave me odds and predictions on things we may see Friday night.

Odds That League Rep Paul will not be in costume as a major swerve: 4:1 

Team that will have the most players showing up in Costume: Don't Come on My Base! (Duh)

Odds that members of Don't Come on My Base! will come as one part of a costume, and then will come together during the party into one giant uber costumed entity like the Lions forming Voltron?: 3:1

Team that will have the least players showing up in Costume: Teleballin'

Odds that those member of Teleballin that do arrive hang out most of the evening with members of We've Got the Runs: 2:1

Odds that someone will show up as the female lead from 50 Shades of Grey: 6:9 

Odds that character from 50 Shades of Grey will be from Ninjapocalypse Now 2:1

Odds that the team that has the most players showing up as cast members of Glee will be Dirty Mike and The Boys. 14:1

Odds that if Dirty Mike and The Boys do show up as The Cast of Glee, they will give a emotionally stirring heartfelt rendition of "Call Me Maybe": 3:2 (The real odds are impossible. No one could give a stirring heartfelt rendition of that song.) 

Odds that Kickin Nuggets will come dressed as the Chicken McNugget Party Pack with dipping sauce from this 1984 commerical: 25:1 (random aside. The bit at the end about the McDonald's Gift Certificates brings back memories. $1 for a dollar or 5 for $5 bucks is not a deal. Still it's not as bad as that time a "friend" of mine was at a gentleman's entertainment establishment in Las Vegas, and the temporary paramour offered a deal of "1 dance for $30, 3 dances for $100." 'Wait a second, that's not a deal' he said as he handed over a Ben Franklin...)

Odds that I would squeal like a small child on Christmas morning if Kickin Nuggets did arrive dressed as Chicken McNugget party pack: Guaran-damn-mutha-fracking-teed!

Odds someone shows up dressed like a bowling alley employee: Could we tell? 

Odds that someone from Pumped Up Kicks will wear Reebok Pumps: 5:1

Odds that the person wearing their Reebok Pumps, will pump them up too much and it will explode: 7:3

Team that will have people show up in their kickball shirts from last year: Looking to Bust Balls

Odds that the former members of Ball Busters will be wearing the shirts of the former members of Looking to Score and vice versa to further confuse the shit out of us: 4:3

Odds there will be more than one player dressed as a music reference: 5:1

Odds there will be more than one player dressed as music reference made famous in the 1980's: 3:1

Team that will not becoming as foods high in fiber: We've Got the Runs

Odds that someone on We've Got the Runs missed the memo on no obvious pooping pun costumes, and comes as the state of Idaho: 8:1

Over/Under on people who don't wear a costume: 35%

Odds those people will be made fun of by the costumed ones: 100%

Odds I am one of those non costumed people: Even

PART IV: "You come back here in your cowboy boots. Dressed to kill in your monkey suit Every pose you strike, every frame they shoot. Shows you dressed to kill in your monkey suit." - Elton John

6:30pm Games

Looking to Bust Balls 3 over Dirty Mike and the Boys 2

Looking To Bust Balls edged a shorthanded Dirty Mike & The Boys 3-2. After falling behind 1-0 in the top of the first LTBB evened things up in the bottom frame when Nick drove in Adam. Richard added an RBI single scoring Jay K in the second inning. Some fine defense by Abbey and Andrea held the score at 2-1 until the 5th. Dirty Mike was able to scratch a 2nd run off Ben in the top of the 5th, who delivered another fine pitching performance in a season of them. Then in the bottom of the 5th it was rookie kickballer AJ, showing the poise of a veteran, delivering the winning run after a marathon at bat, bringing in his brother Nick to score the game winner.

Jason contributed this report.

Don't Come on My Base! 7 over Kickin Nuggets 2

Week five saw DCOMB rocking the red white and blue to celebrate the land of the free and home of the brave. Little did we know that the brave meant Ilana would sacrifice her health and well-being to get someone out at second base. Our on the spot physical therapist Steve took a break from his third base duties to help escort her off the
field. Other than the medical issues, there were some strong defensive plays including a solid inning-ending catch by Kara and a smart double play by Dan at first base.After three in a row, don't expect the pink team to go quietly into the night. We will will not vanish without a fight. We're going to live on, we're going to survive. This is our Independence Day!

As for the Kickin Nuggets, "I completely forgot to take pictures of last week's game, which is probably a good thing since one of our players steamrolled someone on the pink team and left her icing her ankle. :-/ Aside from that we were treated to more double-plays than we pulled off, so we lost once again. We heard that Teleballin' had to forfeit last week, so it's possible we might "win" a game yet!" (edit: Note. Looks like Kickin Nuggets is throwing down the gauntlet to Teleballin' before this week's game. Could this also be a RIVALRY WEEK MATCHUP)


Erik and Jess contributed this report

PART V:"The face before me flies. Laughs at me inside. Masks are made to hide the glow Shining eyes. Distance 'tween us grows. Feeding lies" - Alice in Chains

7:15pm Games

We've Got the Runs 5 over Teleballin' 0 (forfeit)

Despite being the day after a holiday, We've Got the Runs showed up in full force ready to play. Unfortunately for us it didn't matter that we had 15 people since our opponent Teleballin' only had 1. The forfeit victory brings us to 2 wins on the season. Not wanting to waste a perfectly good night we decided to scrimmage amongst ourselves and even allowed Jen from Teleballin' to join in and be a Run for the evening.

Sam contributed this report. 

Pumped Up Kicks 2 tie Ninjapocalypse Now 2

One goal I have for the league every year is no ties. But if there ever was going to be a tie, from the Ninja perspective this was the tie to have. Fielding a bare bones lineup, the Ninjas held the powerful Pumped Up Kicks to two runs, minimizing the damage inflicted by last year's Commonwealth Division All-Star Game MVP Andrew B. This effort was lead by Hand Drum of Destiny winner Mike G, Helmet of The Horror winner Megan,  Indefatigable Can of Spam Winner Ryan, and Ninja Aeronautical Space Association Suit winner Andrew,  in addition to the contributions of Dave P, Ed Jackie, Amy, Hadley, Sam and Kyla. Unfortunately for the Ninjas, Dave of the Pumped Up Kicks was on top of his pitching game and held the Ninjas offense to 0 ZERO hits in the first four innings. In addition, the Ninjas weren't even able to get balls kicked past the pitchers mound due to their solid defense. 


Hope seemed lost until the Top of the 5th when Andrew who had a great two way game, lead off with the first miraculous hit of the game. Ryan walked, and Andrew and Ryan advanced on a sac fly by Dave P. Jordan made a tough out after a well fought battle with Dave. Paul came through in the clutch belting a single to drive in two and tie the game. Unable to push across a third run, the Ninjas defense held, despite letting Andrew B get to third base, as Mike G made the final out on a pop foul at home. It was the Harvard Yale tie of WAKA Kickball. 

David contributed this report

PART VI:"Come and join the party, dressed to kill" - The Who

Standings:

Schedule:

6:30PM

Equipment to the Field: Kickin Nuggets

Desert:
Kickin' Nuggets' v. Teleballin'
Referee: Pumped Up Kicks

Grass:
Ninjapocalypse Now v. Looking to Bust Balls
Referee: We've Got the Runs

7:15pm 

Desert:
Dirty Mike and the Boys v. Pumped Up Kicks
Referee: Kickin' Nuggets'

Grass:
Don't Come on My Base! v. We've Got the Runs
Referee: Looking to Bust Balls

Equipment to the Bar: We Got the Runs

PART VII: "Your daddy walks in wearin’ A Napoleon Bonaparte mask. Then you ask why I don’t live here. Honey, do you have to ask?" - Bob Dylan

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

RULES AND REFEREES: Remember when teams are assigned up referee, please have minimum two players (more the better) there to referee. Failure to do so will result in a "paper forfeit". If a team forfeits three times in a season, they are ineligible for the post season. All referees are asked to know the rules. One rule that is particularly different from baseball/softball is that runners can "tag up" as soon as a ball in the air is touched by a player, regardless of whether it is caught or not. (WAKA Rule 10.5) To check out this and other rules please visit this link. As the playoffs near and intensity ramps up, we want everyone to have as fair a chance as possible to win IMMORTAL KICKBALL GLORY.

SUNLIGHT: Sunlight will become an issue soon. Remember games start 6:30 and 7:15pm. There is a 15 minute grace period for the first game. But there is only a 5 minute grace period for the second game.

PHOTOS: Thanks to Sam of We've Got the Runs for some of this week's photos. Send any photos you got to me here. Thank you

BOCA BAR: Only a few more weeks left at Boca Bar for this season. Thank them for their support of our league by visiting them after the games!

TWITTER: For all the latest news and notes, follow the league tweets at @Macommonealth for all the latest news.

PART VIII: "We stood at the alter the gypsy swore our future was right. But come the wee wee hours maybe baby the gypsy lied. So when you look at me you better look hard and look twice, is that me baby or just a brilliant disguise" - Bruce Springsteen

Disguises have been part of human communication for thousands of years. For some reason there is something intriguing, exciting, titilating even, by the familiar yet unknown. But remember masks are just they, external facades that can hide true meaning, and should not be taken any seriously beyond that. It's a metaphor that Poe uses with extreme skill in the famous "Masque of the Red Death." The point being that for all of us, regardless of how sheltered or hidden we try to be, will face a moment of truth.

That moment of truth is coming in our kickball season. Soon the playoffs will be among us, the auras and postures of winning and losing will be shone in the naked light of victory. There can be only one winner, and that's a fact from which no one can hide.

Good luck, happy kicking!

-David, GMOT Editor