Ghost Man on Third: The Mailed In Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"You play in dirt. You get dirty" - Det. Jimmy McNulty 

WEEK 6: "I miss your kissin' and I miss your head. And a letter in your writing doesn't mean you're not dead. Run outside in the desert heat. Make your dress all wet and send it to me." - Pixies

Table of Contents: 

I: Cliff Claven's Favorite Edition
II: Postmaster General? More like Partymaster General

III: Recaps

IV: Schedule and Standings

V: Announcements

VI: Lick it and stick it. 

PART I: "I got a letter this morning, how do you reckon it read? "Oh, hurry, hurry, gal, you love is dead" - Son House

Here at the GMOT Fortress of Kickballitude, we get many, many inquires, both from the league and the public at large. So as a public service (with kickball) we dedicate one edition of the GMOT to answering the mail in the "HIGHLY ORIGINAL THIS HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE IN A BLOG OR NEWSLETTER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND AT LEAST ACCORDING TO ME" mailbag.

"We have 99 problems, but our pitch ain't one. What are some of our problems?" - Vickie B

In no apparent order here are some of your problems: Paul Lurie's mustache. Fear of Milk. Fear of Glaciers. Fear of Rubber Balls. You wish you were taller. You wish you were a baller. You wish you had a girl (or guy) and if you did you'd call'em. Getting ignored by the GMOT  in our twitter gag a few weeks ago. Dame Edna. Missing Matt Kelly. The debt crisis. The designated hitter. The idea of Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone. Paul Lurie's mustache's mustache. Not knowing what a chicken is.  Rooms with too much space. Claustrophobia. Rabid monkeys. Rabid rabbits. Robin Roberts host of ABC's Good Morning America. Elvis Presley being dead. Elvis Costello being alive. Elvis Grbac being retired. The Pope's hat (ecumenical). The Pope's hat (pornographic). The Third Amendment (Really?). Paul Lurie's mustache's mustache's goatee. Flip cup. Not colliding with teammates on routine pop ups. Having problems.

"Every year in the mailbag, you make fun of our name and it's reference to busting of balls. Will you stop?" - Tom C. 

No. You must be nuts. 

"Now that the NASA has launched the last STS mission, will they still make astronaut ice cream?" - Paul L 

Yes. According to the US Census, freeze dried food including the very delicious yet stryofoamy at first but then melts in your mouth yumness that is astronaut ice cream is a $5 billion US industry, which should not be hampered by temporary ending the STS program by NASA. However there is a surplus of TANG and promotional items from the documentary Deep Impact which was narrated by Tea Leoni and Morgan Freeman (man that guy can narrate anything) that the government has available.

"Our team name is the Boston Kreamers. Let's see you try to make some infantile crude joke out of that?" - Meghan S. - Boston Kreamers

I don't know. There don't seems to be any puns exploding forth from my potent mind. Perhaps I blew my load on the 99 problems question. 

Come on!

"Pitch Please!?" - Alison C-S.

These nuts are making me thirsty. 

"While we are new to the Waltham League, we've heard about this legendary award-winning newsletter, and that you our esteemed and only slightly not ugly editor is a fan of aptonyms, that is someone's name that describes their profession, thus being 'apt' (See Seinfeld's library cop named 'bookman' as the quintessential aptonym. Is WAKA Flocka Flame an aptonym?" - Ilana M-M. 

Why thank you for your flattery. However no amount of kind words will make WAKA Flocka Flame an aptonym. However it is a delightful, yet highly esoteric pun. Of course me being a cranky misanthropic old man, who doesn't recognize music past 1992 and is constantly keeping kids off my lawn, I had no idea of the pun until I did a Google search. (Lougle for those members of the league from the Hot Tub Time Machine dimension). However upon searching the interwebs, the real Waka Flocka Flame seems like a competent hip-pop artist, with just that hint of conformist rebellion that somewhere has Easy E snorting his own ashes. 

"So who mails it in more. You or Dan Shaughnessy?" - Jason K

The Curly Haired Boyfriend.I only mail it in once a season, and leap years. This guy hasn't written a real column since he published his first book. Thank Bog that this blog exists. Don't get me started on his appearance in the Bruins Stanley Cup Championship DVD. (Anger rising, rising, rising)The man sullied the reputation of Red Sox fans more than any drunk, pink hat or Yankee fan could ever imagine. It's really amazing how the USPS could be in debt with this guy around. (edit note: Geez, tell us how you really think)

"We are the One Kick Wonders. Where do we rank in terms of the World's Wonders?" - Jess H. 

It's interesting. There are three lists of "World Wonders" that I subscribe to. The 7 Ancient Wonders. The 7 Natural Wonders. And the 7 New Wonders. Honestly you guys don't make it anywhere close to that level. (Except maybe the Christ the Redeemer Statue in Brazil. I don't get why that's a 'Wonder' It's a big-ass statue, and while yes of an important figure in world history (regardless of any religious beliefs you may or may not have) it's just a big freakin' statue in a picturesque place. How is that an achievement of modern man, when we've been building statutes for millenia! Somewhere the Colossas of Rhodes and the Statue of Liberty are pissed off.)  That being said, I do think you guys are more awesome than the wonder bra, wonder bread, and noted magician and sandwich artist Tony Wonder. 

PART II: "The bus ride, I went to write this, 4:00 a.m. This letter. Fields of poppies, little pearls, all the boys and all the girls sweet-toothed each and every one a little scary. I said your name. I wore it like a badge of teenage film stars, hash bars, cherry mash and tinfoil tiaras, dreaming of Maria Callas. Whoever she is." - R.E.M.  

END OF SEASON PARTY

When: Saturday, August 27th

Where: Hong Kong - Harvard Square

Time: 7-10pm 

Free for Registered WAKA Members. $5 for Guests!

For more information, check here. 

PART III:"The hand that wrote this letter. Sweeps the pillow clean. So rest your head and read a treasured dream." - David Bowie

6:30 PM Games

Ball Busters 2 over Pitch Please! 1

In the second straight week, Ball Busters won a nail biter 2-1.  Unfortunately nothing very exciting happened during this instant classic.  Defense was the name of the game on this day.  Tom got on with a base hit in the first.  Max blooped one into right and Tom scored.  Max then scored somehow (I wasn't looking).  That was all the offense on our side.  We're very much like the Bruins, we get a lead and then like to cling to said lead by leaning on our defense. 

Tom C of Ball Busters contributed to this report.

Looking to Score 9 over One Kick Wonders 0

LTS broke out of a dry spell when its first five kickers all scored in the first.  Chris was driven in by Kramer and then BDO helped his own cause with a 3 run homer which scored Alina and Kramer.   Mike C got on base and scored on a base hit by Nick. Nick also turned a double play in the field in the first inning helping BDO preserve his shutout.

LTS made it 6-0 in the 2nd when Mike M came around to score.  In the fourth, Mike M scored again as did two others courtesy of RBIs from Courtney and Richard.  Unfortunately, Richard couldn't avoid his second collision of the year on a bang bang play at first base, as apparently he sees Buster Posey blocking home plate when he comes barreling down the line.

Special shout out to Julia who went 2 for 2 in her long awaited season debut. 

Jason of Looking to Score contributed the recap. Jess of One Kick Wonders contributed the photos. 

7:15 Games

Boston Kreamers 5 over WAKA Flocka Flame 0


Boston Kreamer MVP of the week goes to Ryan “Mr. Gloves” L for kicking a 3-run homerun bringing in Sean “The Boss” D and Patrick “Lurch” N.  We also had a few solid defensive plays from Craig “Mr. Papagiorigio” M and Laura S.  Also big shout out to Amy and Colleen for tearing up the dance floor during our flip cup match.

As for WAKA Flocka Flame, while WFF has still not won their first game, they are still hoping to bring the heat in the next few weeks (so watch out!). Johnny is this week's MVP for getting two of the opposing team's players out in one play. Go Johnny!

Meghan of Boston Kreamers and Ilana of WAKA Flocka Flame contributed tot his report. 

99 Pitches 3 over Ninja Awesomenauts 2

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  More the latter.  The most intense regular season game this league has seen, 99 Problems edged NASA 3-2 with a walk off bottom of the 5th run.  In a far cry from their previous blowout match ups in 2010, this was a defensive struggle, with each of the first four runs coming on sacrifice flies.  NASA Jen left it all on the field, including most of the skin on her right leg, which earned her the MVP spacesuit, mostly to cover up her grizzly looking wound.  Despite the loss, every one of the Awesomenauts lined up for high fives and nearly half of them remain optimistic for the future.    


Paul of NASA contributed to this report. 

PART IV: "Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane. Ain't got time to take a fast train. Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home, 'Cause my baby just a-wrote me a letter." - The Box Tops

Standings:

Schedule Week 6: Thursday, July 21

6:30 PM

Mud Dirt: Looking to Score v. WAKA Flocka Flame

Referees: Ninja Awesomenauts

Grass:  Ball Busters v.99 Problems 

Referees: The Boston Kreamers

7:15 PM

Mud  Dirt: Pitch Please! v. Ninja Awesomenauts

Referees: Looking to Score 

Grass:  One Kick Wonders v.  The Boston Kreamers

Referees:Ball Busters

Equipment:The Boston Kreamers

PART V: "Like a fool I went and stayed too long. Now I'm wondering if your love's still strong. Ooh, baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!" - Stevie Wonder

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

PHOTOS: Special Thanks to Jess of One Kick Wonder for last week's photos. If you have anything to contribute to the GMOT, storys, poems, crude drawnings, vampire fiction, pictures, please send them along to this address. We are always looking for new ideas. 


TWITTER: Follow the league twitter account for all you twatters out there. Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division (including stuff about rivalry week) from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth

BOCA BAR: Last week's Boca Bar was awesome, with one of the longest flip cup games I've ever witnessed. Lets keep showing up and thanking Boca for our support for our league the past four years. 

WEATHER: Shhhhhhhhhh.Clear skies!  

PART VI: "Right now I can’t read too good. Don’t send me no more letters, no. Not unless you mail them from Desolation Row." - Bob Dylan

This mailman is on vacation. Put a stamp on it and see you next GMOT. 

Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor