The Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division
"The pond is shrinking, the fish are nervous.Win a kickball game and maybe find a bigger pond." - Gus Haynes
WEEK 3: "Good Morning, here's the news, and all of it is good. Good evening here's the news,and all the news is good. And the weather's good." - Carbon/Silicon
III:Schedule and Standings
IV: Announcements
V: Citation Needed
PART I: "Read about the things that happen throughout the world. Don't be believe in everything you see or hear. The neighbours talk day in day out about the goings on They tell us what they want - they don't give an inch." - The Jam
PART I: "Read about the things that happen throughout the world. Don't be believe in everything you see or hear. The neighbours talk day in day out about the goings on They tell us what they want - they don't give an inch." - The Jam
In the age of Twitter, which is a very useful and revolutionary service, (and you should all sign up for this league's Twitter feed, @macommonwealth) there is a tendency to value speed of news, over the veracity of what is tweeted. In some cases that is fine, like when a celebrity is tweeting that he just took his morning poo, then we don't really need verification. (Eww). But with chaotic events like popular uprisings in oppressive regimes, or mad crazy kickball games, rumors and wild speculation flung about in shameless attempts to be "FIRST" in reporting something, obscures the truth from which we can all learn.
The kickball world is just the same as the real world. Truth is often obscured by speculation and rumor. Since this is a newsletter and not a twitter feed, here are some of the "rumors" that have been floating around the twitterverse and the truths behind them.
Rumor: The Ninja Aeronautical Space Awesomenauts are all former astronauts or extras from the movie "Space Cowboys" with one team member being a stand in for Donald Sutherland's butt.
Truth: One team member did win a 'Space Policy Advocate of the Year Award' but none have actually been in space or naked with Donald Sutherland. (Insert your own juvenile "Uranus" joke here).
Rumor: The WAKA Flocka Flame team is actually a team of clones of Juaquin Malphurs all genetically altered to as to appear as different people. But when the time is right according to an ancient prophesy, they will all come together to form a giant version of the American rapper to rule us all. Truth: I have no idea. I just wikipedia'd the guy two seconds ago. (citation needed). I thought the team name was some kind of strange homage to Fozzie Bear if he were some sort of gay icon.
Rumor: One Kick Wonders were all members of the Rockettes.
Truth: No. But they were all injured while auditioning for Spider Man: Turn Off the Suck Dark.
Rumor: The Boston Kreamers are former owners of the now defunct Massachusetts Krispy Kreme donut franchises.
Truth: No one on this team makes decent coffee, and they are all covered in some sort of sticky glaze, so this could actually be true. Pending.
Rumor: Pitch Please! has a strange fetish for exclamation points and other weird punctuation like hash tags, amerpsands and Megan Fox.
Truth: Their name is actually just a pun on the popular phrase, "Bitch, Please!" and the exclamation point is pointing this out. Now make me a sandwich.
Rumor: The Ball Busters are actually a travelling group of rodeo clowns, only for little people rodeos, where the contestants ride sheep, in the popular sport known as Mutton Bustin.
Truth: This is 100% true. Have you seen Tom Caddigan? Man was born to bust mutton.
PART II: "I heard the news today, oh boy." - The Beatles
Holy crap! It's gonna be nice today and we'll actually play games.Holy holy crap crap! It's time for the Mid Season Party.
This annual bacchanalia of Kickabrigian awesomeness will take place on
Saturday June 9th 7:30 PM-10:30pmUnion Street Restaurant
170R Union Street
Newton, MA
All are welcome! Awesomeness will be had.
PART III: "Hey, Mr. Reporter,Don't you twist my words around.I'll kill you, I won't let you,Distort my simple sound." - The Kinks
Standings:
Schedule Week 3: Thursday, June 30
6:30 PM
Mud Dirt: Ninja Awesomenauts v. Ball Busters
Referees: The Boston Kreamers
Grass: One Kick Wonders v. WAKA Flocka Flame
Referees: Pitch Please!
7:15 PM
Referees: Ball Busters
Grass: 99 Problems v. Pitch Please!
Referees:One Kick Wonders
Equipment:Pitch Please!
PART IV: "You be rippin' off the kids. While they be payin' their hard earned money to read about the bands. They want to know about. Printin' lies startin' controversy. You wanta antagonize me. Antagonize me m##########. Get in the ring m##########!" - Guns N Roses
Announcements, Announcements Announcements
RIVALRY WEEK: Read here for the latest on "Rivalry Week' this year's attempt to make that awkward week where you play a team you already played fun and exciting. And do you know where I found out about this?...
TWITTER: Yup. Follow the league twitter account for all you twatters out there. Get the latest news and information about the MA Commonwealth Division (including stuff about rivalry week) from our twitter feed. Follow us @macommonwealth
BOCA BAR: Wet your whistle at our league sponsor. And try the plaintains! And remember always drink responsibly and unless you can afford it, keep the tab under $156K
WEATHER: All systems GO!
PART IV: "Did you see my photograph.It was on page ten. I swore to everyone. I'm not to blame. I turned around and saw him hit the ground. A little earlier it was a game. I'm so disposable. You can throw me away. I don't like to read the news.D'you know anything I'm going through" - Talk Talk
WEATHER: All systems GO!
PART IV: "Did you see my photograph.It was on page ten. I swore to everyone. I'm not to blame. I turned around and saw him hit the ground. A little earlier it was a game. I'm so disposable. You can throw me away. I don't like to read the news.D'you know anything I'm going through" - Talk Talk
Well now is the time in the kickball season to do the same. Immortal Kickball Glory is only a few weeks away, and as we dust off the must, mud and mold from our rain outs, every team must come together and make copy before the deadline of the season hits. The kickball pond is shrinking. The fish are getting nervous. It is time to sink or swim!
Good luck and Happy Kicking.
- David, GMOT Editor
