Ghost Man on Third: Week Five

Ghost Man on Third

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE COMMONWEALTH DIVISION

"The Kickball is Bouncier than the Sword"

WEEK 6: "Here I am, and you're a Rocket Queen. I might be too much, but honey you're a bit obscene. " - Guns N' Roses

Table of Contents:

I - You have selected Regicide. Press 1 if you know what king or queen is being killed

II - In Imperial Russia Only Tsars Serfed.

III - 6:30 Recaps

IV - 7:15 Recaps

V - Standings and Schedule

VI - Announcements

VII - Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

PART I -"Everybody get ready to lift up your glasses and sing. Everybody get ready to lift up your glasses and sing. Well, I'm standin' on the table, I'm proposing a toast to the King." - Bob Dylan

Last week as I meandered my way through Lexington, Belmont and Waltham on my way to Lowell Field, I was sitting happily oblivious in my car, blasting Guns N Roses "Chinese Democracy" when my text ringtone wailed; Bob Dylan asking "Where do you want this killing

done? God said out on Highway 61". I do not believe in texting while driving, so I ignored it. Yet, Uncle Bob kept asking God the same question, as text after text kept coming to my phone. What the deuce was going on? So while at the traffic light on RT 60 by McLean Hospital, I snuck a quick peek at the inbox. Curiosity had gotten the better of me.

"Jacko rushed to hospital." "Heart attack. Michael Jackson. May be dead. Get milk." "MJ dead." "Michael Jackson will not be down for breakfast." "Moonwalk into the sunset for Jacko." "Pour a 40 out for MJ". "The King(of Pop) is Dead. Long Live The King" (Guess which text I made up.) And so verily it came to pass, I learned of the death of Michael Jackson in my car waiting to make a left turn.

The sudden news of his death was definitely the hot topic both on the field, and at the Boca Bar last week, and his s passing of course has been the top news story in the week since. Just yesterday I received my first Michael Jackson Benefit fund spam message. For good or bad Western culture has become celebrity driven. We are transfixed by the glitterati, and we voraciously devour all news, gossip, and rumor about those with the fortune or misfortune of being famous. Countless hours and terabytes of information are dedicated to the following of the famous and infamous. And the King of Pop was certainly both famous and infamous.

Elvis died two years before I was born, and I was just shy of 18 months when Lennon was shot. I remember Princess Diana's death overshadowing Mother Theresa, and I personally remember when I found out Joe Strummer died of a heart attack. Still, this passing seems bigger than all of those. Not because I'm a great fan of Michael Jackson (though Thriller was

my first non Sesame Street album) and he waved to me once at Buckingham Palace when I was twelve (which in hindsight of the allegations of his later life, feels just a tad creepy) but because he was so ubiquitous in the 80's and early 90's, such the trendsetter, and such an influence on popular music and culture as we know it, that it is stunning to realize that it's over.

Obviously the opinions on Jackson vary, and rightfully so. Yes he was a great artist and dancer. Yes he was twice tried for heinous crimes against children. Yes his behavior and appearance become more erratic and disturbing as he grew older. Yes he was a shrewd businessman who bought The Beatles catalog out from under Paul McCartney's nose. Yes he was a titan of the 1980s (along with Madonna, Springsteen, U2 and Spandau Ballet...well, except the last one). Yes he was a punchline to jokes in the 1990's and 2000s. He was all those things, and probably one of those people who never will truly be understood. It was obvious in the reaction of league members last week reflected all these facts.

Of course now I've been burnt out on the post-Jackson fall out. I don't care about the will, or any potential custody battles over his Princes. I'm tired of hearing Beat It, Billie Jean, or any one of his or The Jackson Five's hits. So instead of going with the obvious Michael songs (I'm sure you are burnt out too.) this week's newsletter will feature some of my favorite lyrics involving Kings, Queens and other rulers.

Though, in all the Jackson in memoria that has come out this past week, this post in the

comments on The Onion's AV Club website was perhaps the most poignant. Posted by an ImpromptuJ, to me it best sums up the inherent tragedy of celebrity, a celebrity which our culture so enjoys.

"Let's say it's summer 1969....and you and your brothers are just about to record a little Motown ditty called "I Want You Back." You are ten years old--an anonymous,innocent little kid.

Suddenly, you have a clear, prescient vision of everything that is about to come--stardom, then superstardom; more fans and money than God; then a slow, grotesque, shameful fall from grace, and finally a death at the age of 50 from what appears to be painkillers, plastic surgery, and sheer physical and psychological exhaustion. Millions mourn. Others have pity. And still others have no sympathy whatsoever, as they consider you beyond the reach of humanity.

Would you step into that booth and record that song, knowing what you know? I know I wouldn't. And yet somehow I feel that, even at the age of 10, Michael Jackson probably would still have said yes."

PART II - "Friday night and the lights are low. Looking out for a place to go. Where they play the rock music, getting in the swing, you come and look for a king." - ABBA

On to happier things. Last Saturday night was our Mid Season Party. It was a rousing success, raising close to a couple hundred dollars for our charity, and raising the spirits (and blood alcohol levels) of nearly half of our league. Well done everyone, and the End of Season Party will be even bigger, badder, and more off the hook than last Saturday.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so instead of me typing 12,000 words, here are some shots from Saturday, for those of you who forgot, and to make envious those who didn't come.

PART III - "From the Hundred Years War to the Crimea, with the lance and the musket, and the Roman spear. To all of the men who have served with no fear in the service of the King." - The Clash

Diamond: Last Man Standing 7 v. Eat Drums!!! 0

The veteran Eat Drums!!! team was looking to build on it's 2-0 over Waltham United two weeks ago, to try and insert themselves into the discussion for the league lead. Unfortunately for Eat Drums this one wasn't much of a contest from the get-go. Last Team Standing scored 3 runs in the top of the first, with each of The Three Bens plating a run. This turned out to be all LTS would need to secure the victory.

Eat Drums did manage some scoring opportunities, but were never able to capitalize, in is becoming a season-long trend. In the bottom of the first Isaac and Mike kicked one out singles but were stranded at first and second following a line out and a fly out. After Josh and Andrew bunted their way on with one out in the bottom of the second, Jen K. kicked into a fielder's choice which saw Josh get pegged and the ball roll away, allowing runners to reach second and third with 2 outs. That's where they would stay after a line out for the third out of the inning.
The third and fourth innings saw Dave and Scott stranded respectively after both led off each inning with a hit, but the Eat Drums!!! offense was able to muster anything more.

Ultimately it was too much LTS pitching and defense that frustrated the Eat Drums!!! team all game. Ben K pitched well and the solid defense was lead Jay P, Mike F, and Sara B at shortstop. Ben D helped seal the game with a 2 run homer in the 3rd, as LTS added four "insurance" runs in the 3rd. Ben D also made his first pitching appearance to close out the game, moving LTS two points behind the East Coast Animals for first, and dropping Eat Drums!!! below .500 at 2-3.

Isaac Gerofsky and Jason Kivela contributed to this report.

Grass: Ball Busters 2 vs. That's What She Said 2

Remember what I said two weeks ago about ties being like kissing your sister (or brother)? Well,

in keeping with my inner hypocrite, I lied. Ties are awesome, especially when it's your team earning it's first point of the season.

Despite the absence of TWSS captain Joceyln, the Red Brigade was lead ably by Bob and Holly, who in a season first won the rock paper scissors, earning TWSS last ups, which would prove to be crucial for TWSS' quest to get on the standings list.

Rusty and the TWSS defense kept the Ball Busters off the board in the first, then hits by Holly, Will and Arielle plated the first run of the game. The Ball Busters were able to tied it in the second when Mike C got a single of some

guy named David, scoring Jamie D. Tom C, playing some stellar defense kept the suddenly hot TWSS offense off the board, and in the third Ball Busters took the lead as Lindsay D scored on a single by Jen K.

David, assisted mightly in the field by Dan, Laura, and Nicole got through the 4th unscathed. Then singles by Sarah Jane, and Laura pushed across the tying run. Will came on the mound in the top of the 5th to shut down the Ball Busters, with both he and Laura

making spectacular catches.

In the bottom of the fifth, Richard drew a walk, only to be doubled off by a spectacular Ball Buster defensive play, eliminating any chance of TWSS getting their first win. Still, it was a valiant game on both sides, and now that TWSS has a taste for run scoring, the rest of the league is on notice. Why? Cause THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Tom Caddigan and Holly Monaco contributed to this report.

Part VI - "Playing with the Queen of Hearts. Knowing it ain't very smart. The Joker is the only fool, who'll do anything for you. " - Juice Newton

Diamond: East Coast Animals 2 v. Waltham United 0

For anyone who has ever been in a library, silence is golden. In the wake of a tough loss to East Coast Animals, Waltham United decided it was best to remain silent and regroup, hoping to avenge their tough loss this week. A sound strategy, as well, it's always the quiet ones that are most deadly or fun, depending upon your situation.

From the ECA perspective this was a solid win, and with the absense of beleagured team captain Ryan C, might go a long way to continuing this championship caliber season. Under the strong leadership of Captain

Awesome, Matt T and co-coach Maria M, the East Coast Animals maintained their undefeated record this week against Waltham United. There was a bit of a shaky start to the offense in the 1st inning as lead off kicker Maria M, who apparently did not follow the rules of "situational kickball" earned an immediate out. However James H showed the team how it was done to get on base with two outs . A nice kick by Mike B enabled James H to give ECA the early lead. The second run was scored by Captain Awesome, himself, in the 4th inning, providing not only a needed insurance run, but also proving he was worthy of his moniker. Peter P was able to break his foul-out streak with a double in the 3rd inning, however Mike P has continued to struggle to produce so far, and has yet to make it on base this season. The ECA defense was tough to beat with the ECA men Barry D, Mike P and Brian coming down with any and every ball that came their way. Captain Awesome made several diving catches for outs further leading ECA

by superb example. Tireless pitching by Peter P who also reacted quickly and often to grab any pop ups also contributed to the victory, and an incredible running, diving catch for a pivotal second out by James H in the bottom of the 5th inning with two runners on base; a kick that would easily have been a walk-off home run for the Waltham United. The ECA women were unstoppable on defense with Halie making several clutch outs at home plate, Trish F acting as a human wall stopping everything that came at her, Sarah K using her face and jugular to catch a fly ball in the outfield, and Anna making a key out at second base to end the game. The ECA moved on to the BOCA bar, where they were finally able to outnumber and outlast the dark green team (although no one was able to out-drunk Tom).

Maria Mancini contributed to this report.

Grass:

Allen Club 0 v. Alcoballics 0

Remember that thing I said about ties a few weeks back being like kissing one's sister, which I then flop flipped a few paragraphs above when talking about my team? Well I'm flop flipping again and reversing the position I reversed earlier. Confused? Me too. Never engage in a land war in Asia, and never match wits with a Sicilian. (But wait, I'm not Sicilian. I'm not even Italian.) Maybe the third thing is never write a kickball newsletter after drinking too much red wine.

You know what goes great with red wine? Pizza. Specifically Papa Ginos pizza. (Beer works too. Oh and soda, for you teetotalers.)

And speaking of Papa Ginos, in the final game of last Thursday's action, the Papa Ginos fueled Allen Club engaged the no longer Anonymous Alcoballics in a nil-nil tie. In fact, upon reviewing the box score, it seems that Allen Club pitcher Timmy S, rolled a no-hitter (no kicker?). Hmmm, I may have to flop flip my position on ties again after reading that little dough ball of information...Nah. It would be too confusing.

What was not confusing was the underlying story of this game. Allen Club lead by the pitching of Timmy S, and defense lead by Christmas, Barry and Flava Flav, kept the Alcoballics at bay. Yet the Ballics pitching and defense was equal to the task at hand. Brian S assisted by his strong defense scattered several hits by Allen Club's Jill Henrici, Captain Josh, Ms. Maynard and Hannah, but prevented the timely hit. This great teamwork by the Alcoballics was especially crucial in the bottom of the 5th inning,

when the Ballics D stranded the winning run in the form of Jill H a third with none out.

Both teams were thrilled with the tie. The Ballics, who are proud to no longer be anonymous are buoyed by the fact they have now earned points two games in a row. The Allen Club was joyously celebrating the birthday of Captain Joshua at the Boca Bar.

"The only thing missing from my Birthday, besides a win" said the Birthday Captain, " was a Super Veggie and Five Large Cheese Pizzas from Papa Ginos, to share with my team. You see that's the speciality deal, order one large speciality pizza and get up to five cheese pizzas for only $5 each. A deal that can't be beat, just like our opponents today."

Joshua Allen and Brian Sweetser contributed to this report.

Part V - "All men want to be rich. Rich men want to be kings. And a king ain't satisifed till he rules everything." - Bruce Springsteen

Standings (W/L/T, goal diff, points)

East Coast Animals 4-0-1, +12, 9 points

Allen Club 3-0-2 +7, 8 points

Last Team Standing 3-1-1, +19, 7 points

Waltham United 2-3-0, +4, 4 points

Eat Drums!!! 2-3-0, -7, 4 points

Ball Busters 1-2-2, -11, 4 points

Alcoballics 1-3-1, -4, 3 points

That's What She said 0-4-1, -19, 1 point

Schedule

Week 6 - July 2, 2009

Diamond:

6:30pm - Allen Club v. Ball Busters

ref: Alcoballics

7:15pm - Alcoballics v. Eat Drums!!!

ref: That's What She Said

Grass:

6:30pm - East Coast Animals v. That's What She Said

ref: Last Team Standing

7:15 - Last Team Standing v. Waltham United

ref: East Coast Animals

Part VI "She was shooting up at her dreams, when the chaperone crowned us the King and the Queen." - The Hold Steady

Announcements:

WEATHER: The forecast for tomorrow is scattered thunderstorms. (Mother Nature giving us some early fireworks). Anyway, as always check your email in the afternoon as to whether the weather has inconvenienced our kickball plans.

BOCA BAR: Even if the weather becomes an issue, we always have our Costa Rican inspired sanctuary (and Costa Rica is known for it's sanctuary. Just ask the former President of Honduras) the Boca Bar. Great food, free wings, drink specials, and some fantastic team inspired shots, be sure to stop by after our games end. They've been good to us, so lets

show them our thanks and appreciation.

CHARITY: Our charity for this season is Saturday's Bread/Sunday's Bread. Check our their website for information on how you can help, and stay tuned for the MA Commonwealth League's efforts to assist this noble and worthy cause.

PHOTOS and CONTRIBUTIONS: If you have any photos of league or bar action you'd like to share, or any other contributions, please feel free to submit them to me at this email address. Thanks to Jason Kivela of Last Team Standing for contributing to this week's edition.

Part VII - "Rulers make bad lovers. You better put your kingdom up for sale." - Fleetwood Mac

When the seeds of the United States were sewn 233 years ago this upcoming Saturday, our nation was genetically engineered against monarchies. So committed to democracy, and so repulsed by the hereditary monarchy of the Hanoverians of

England, our Founding Fathers entrenched in our Constitution stringent language and procedure meant to be as anti-monarchy as you can possibly get (without being an anarchist). Most of the world agrees with republican (the old school Latin definition of republican, and not the George W. Bush kind) point of view, though there are still 44 nations that have some form of hereditary monarch (though many like Canada and Norway are constitutional monarchs that combine both monarchical and democratic principles). Still despite our American genetic disposition against monarchies, and the prevalence of republican forms of government around the world, we are still fascinated by royalty; whether it's the British Royal Family, or the royalty of celebrity and stardom we thrust upon our athletes, actors, rock stars, politicians and kickball bloggers (okay, definitely not the last one.)

Anyway, what teams are our league's royalty? Here instead of heredity, the respect and adulation is earned, through honest and fair competition. A true meritocracy. Who will earn our respect and devotion? Eight teams are vying for the crown, all of whom have shown flashes of championship DNA. Who will put it together at the end (damn you Last Team Standing for your team name. Now I have to avoid that phrase at all cost so as not to confuse anyone further. HA!) ? It's anybody's kickball game and coronation time is fast approaching.

Good luck this week to you all and Happy 4th of July Weekend

- David, That's What She Said