Ghost Man on Third
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE COMMONWEALTH DIVISION
"If it keeps on raining, Kickballs can be used as a flotation device"
MIDSEASON: Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play. Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day. The sun is up, the sky is blue. It's beautiful and so are you.
Table of Contents
I - In the Royal Crown Cola Wars, who were the Roundheads?
II - Liverpudlians Got Nothing on Kickabrigians
III- Midseason Review
IV - Standings and Schedule
V - Announcements
VI - If you read this Section Backwards You Get a Recipe for a Rocking Lentil Soup
Part I: The band begins at ten to six when Mr. K performs his tricks without a sound And Mr. H will demonstrate ten somersets he'll undertake on solid ground Having been some days in preparation a splendid time is guaranteed for all And tonight Mr. Kite is topping the bill
Coca-Cola once advertised itself as, "the pause that refreshes." Thanks to Dame Nature, our
kickball season was paused, not by a carmel based carbonated concoction, but by good old H2O in what has seemingly been an unyielding gray and murky fortnight. But if modern meteorolgy is to be trusted, Thursday, Game Day is our sunfilled day of salvation from the starkness. Hopefully our little division's unofficial "All Star Break" has left you refreshed and ready for the long grind to crown our eventual division champion and win a berth in the WAKA Champions Tournament in the most boring place on earth, Las Vegas.
Now, Coke is okay, but to borrow from Willy Wonka, "Candy is Dandy, but liquor is quicker." A cold soda in a tall cool glass, during a hot summer day is always refreshing. But it doesn't satisfy and refresh like a good old-fashioned, balls to the wall, PARTY (with appropriate adult beverages)!
And as it just so happens, the MA COMMONWEALTH MIDSEASON PARTY IS THIS SATURDAY! Of course you already knew that. But just to refresh your memory:
PLACE: JOSE McINTYRE'S - 160 MILK ST, BOSTON
DATE: THIS SATURDAY, JUNE 27th
TIME: 7:00 - 10:00
COST: Free for League Members. $10 Donation for Guests
DRINKS: Open Kegs and Cash Bar.
ATTENDING: YOU
Part II "You get a shot of rhythm and blues. With just a little rock and roll on the side."
I owe a deep debt of gratitude to whomever invented the party. What a simple concept. Get people together, friends and soon-to-be friends. Mix in food and drink, especially drink. Turn up some music, and bam you have an instant recipe for good times. Simple. Genius.
But that's the thing about genius, simplicity. True genius, is the ability to develop simple, yet previously unbefore developed ideas, concepts, inventions, or so thoroughly understand complex ideas, concepts, inventions so as to simplify them for the rest of us. Gravity, for example is such an important part of human existence. Modern humans had been around for thousands of years, yet it wasn't until 1693 and the genius of Newton. I'm sure thousands of people had seen apples and other things fall to the ground since the dawn of human existence. Yet none put it together before Sir Isaac. Simple, yet genius.
That's why when I think of this week's band of the week, I can't help but wonder if their use of the Apple was a nod to Sir Isaac. Even if it wasn't, it's fitting, because The Beatles are so simple, yet their ideas were so genius that it
revolutioned how people think, breathe, feel, understand, dream and philosophize about Rock N Roll. I'm not even a fan of The Beatles, really. Musically they are almost too simple, too pop, and my tastes favor later permutations of what they (along with Elvis, Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly and countless other Bluesmen and R&B artists) started. Yet, the simplicity of their music, their style, their promotion, things which are now commonplace, were revolutionary at the time, as revolution as Principia Mathematica was in Newton's day.
C'mon, who else could re-write the most common song in the world (no, not Rump Shaker); Happy Birthday? Who else would think to do so?
So for this week, I'm giving the nod to George, John, Paul and Ringo. They were the ones who got the party started.
Part III :He roller-coaster he got early warning. He got Muddy Water he one mojo filter. He say "One and one and one is three" Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see.Come together right now over me
For those of you with any time of obsessive compulsion, especially in terms of symmetry, last week's rain out did bisect our eight game regular season. With four games left (and the MIDSEASON PARTY) now is the best time to look at all eight teams and see how they can best gear up before the playoffs.
EAST COAST ANIMALS (3-0-1 +10) - League newcomers and name interlopers, the East Coast Animals have
jumped to the top of the league, with three wins, one heartbreaking tie, and a respectable run differential. Yet could their teams's fractuous leadership be their downfall? Beleaguered team captain Ryan C, has retreated into his strongholds with his allies to consolidate his power especially among the peasant farmers, media and the lone port city, while his rival faction lead by "Captain Awesome" has taken over the team's major industrial centers and transportation networks. The relationship between the two factions is seemingly as strained as Jon and Kate, especially after the baserunning blunder that lead to their tie against Ball Busters. Can this team come together, in some sort of display or Animal unity, or will the revolution be their downfall? And after boldly proclaiming themselves the league's best drinking team, they've been outlasted by the Ball Busters three weeks in a row. Can they belly up to the bar, or was their bold boasting merely Ryan's controlled media blowing smoke? Time will tell. Time will tell.
ALLEN CLUB (3-0-1, +7) - Anyway you slice it, Allen Club's first have of the season has been spectacular. Probably not as spectacular as the latest deal from Papa Ginos, but still quiet hot and flavorful. They key is consistency of brand.
An Allen Club game is marked by strong defense, strong pitching and timely hitting, the key ingredients for any team willing to taste championship glory. Joshua A and his team know how to deliver in the cluth, and have seemingly mastered the recipe for victory. Moving forward they need to continue their strong play, ward off complacency and a static menu, and be wary of other franchises finding their own recipe for magic, and mustering the sauce needed to win.
LAST TEAM STANDING (2-1-1, =12) - The part of this observer that is a fan of aptonyms secretly roots for LTS
to be the Last Team Standing. Aptonyms, are people (or teams in this case) whose name is apt for their occupation. For example, a Chef with the last name Cook, or a minister with the last name Church. The most famous fictional Aptonym is Bookman, the Library Cop from Seinfeld. So far LTS has flashed moments that could lead them to being aptly named. They own the leads biggest win so far, and were a miracle kick away from hanging the first loss of the season on Allen Club. And despite going down to Allen Club in the top of the 5th, they came back to salvage the tie. Still, they can be pitched too, as witnessed by their loss, but otherwise have seemingly put themselves in a good spot to be apt, if other teams falter.
WALTHAM UNITED (2-2-0, +6)- Another team that in their wins has looked very good, but in their losses have struggled. Unfortunately this team is
the one I've seen the least of, so I do not have a good feel for what kind of team they are. They've won handily beating Ball Busters and Alcoballics by comfortable margins, but then beaten soundly by Allen Club and shut out by Eat Drums!!! What does this tell me? Absolutely nothing. This is a team that could definitely pull it together and surprise the teams ahead of them. Remember in kickball, no one is counted out until they are on their back staring at the ceiling of the Boca Bar and hallucinating of a dancing Plaintain named Maria Consuela O'Flanagan Pondicherry Smith.
EAT DRUMS!!! (2-2-0, even) - One of the Division's founding franchises, Eat DRUMS!!! is always dangerous. If they were an animal, the would not only be an incoherent drum pounding pink headed muppet, named Animal, but a stalking horse, one content to ride middle of the pack, assess the situation and then strike when the moment is right. The team is full of WAKA veterans, many of whom last year came just inches away from a perfect season and league title. Could their early season misstep been a hangover from last year, or the night previous at the Boca Bar? This is definitely a team that should not be taking lightly, either on the field, or at the bar.
BALL BUSTERS (1-2-1,-11) The number one question facing the Ball Buster is "Will the put it together?" Actually that's the number two question, after "Will Jennie catch a ball?" The Busters, known for their spunk, solid kickball skills, and entrance music is certainly a team full of glamour and glitz. They authored a strong tie against the ECA's and a solid win over the Alcoballics, yet lost large to Waltham United in the Green War, and were outmached by Last Team Standing. This is a team that definitely has the horses and dance moves to win, (and they are certainly winning at the Boca Bar, having put the brash ECA's in their place three weeks in a row.) Can Shoeless Tom's charges bring their Boca Bar success to the field? I know I'll have a cold beer and some jalepeno poppers handy to see the results.
ALCOBALLICS (1-3-0, -4) - After stumbling in anonymity for three weeks, the Alcoballics have started their path, a twelve-stepped path, to respectability. They've acknowledge the higher kickball powers, and have made a decision to turn their season around. By taking a kickball inventory of themselves and winning their first game of the season, they are seemingly read to make amends, and reach some sort of Kickballian awakening, one that hopefully results in being victorious come championship week. And I wouldn't be surprised if they don't pull it off. Like the old sports maxim states, always bet on black. (Unless they on the wagon, or is it off the wagon?)
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID (0-4-0, -19) - It can be said if it wasn't for bad luck, there'd be no luck at all. After losing with the tying run on third in the season's first game, and then in the last at-bat at the hands of Eat Drums, TWSS ran into a red hot team in Last Team Standing, and then were short handed verses an Alcoballic team that was firmly in the middle of their road to recovery. However, there is an identity of this team, one of brashness, spunk and teamwork. Adversity is character building, and definitely TWSS is full of a bunch of characters. Beware the cornered mountain line, the team with nothing to lose. Looking to build off a solid outing verse the Alcoballics, TWSS is seemingly primed for a run and will be dangerous in the playoffs. Why? Because THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
PART IV I look at the world and I notice it's turning. While my guitar gently weeps. With every mistake we must surely be learning, Still my guitar gently weeps
Standings (W/L/T, run diff, total points)
East Coast Animals 3-0-1, +10, 7 points
Allen Club 3-0-1 +7, 7 points
Last Team Standing 2-1-1, +12, 5 points
Waltham United 2-2-0, +6, 4 points
Eat Drums!!! 2-2-0, even, 4 points
Ball Busters 1-2-1, -11, 3 points
Alcoballics 1-3-0, -4, 2 points
That's What She said 0-4-0, -19, 0 points
Schedule (Week 5)
Diamond:
6:30pm - Last Team Standing v. Eat Drums!!!
ref: Allen Club
7:15pm - Waltham United v. East Coast Animals
ref: Eat Drums!!!
Grass:
6:30pm - Ball Busters v. That's What She Said
ref: Waltham United
7:15 - Allen Club v. Alcoballics
ref: Ball Busters
PART V Your inside is out and your outside is in. Your outside is in and your inside is out. So come on come on Come on is such a joy Come on take it easy. Take it easy take it easy. Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.
Announcements:
SCHEDULE: Last week's postponement pushed our schedule back one week. Thursday June 25th's slate of games is the schedule for week 5. Please refer to the above section to see who you are playing, when, where, and if you are refereeing.
MIDSEASON PARTY: There is a need for volunteers to help check in league members and collect the charitable guest donations at the door at Saturday Night's Mid Season Party. Please email League Rep Brian Sweetser to sign up. The more volunteers means shorter shifts and more time on the dance floor and at the bar for everyone. Thank you
BOCA BAR: Much thanks to the Boca Bar for being our league sponsor this year. I absolutely adore their plantains. Please thank them yourself with your post-game patronage. Drink specials, team shots, and of course those fantastic free wings.
LEAGUE CHARITY: Remember our charity is Saturday's Bread/Sunday's Bread. Please bring a
guest to our league party, for only a $10 donation to our charity. This is a time of great need in our country and every little bit helps. Good Karma goes a long way.
PHOTOS: Photos of game action and the bar are greatly appreciated. Also, any MID SEASON PARTY GOERS (which should be all of you) please feel free to submit any party pictures you have. You can email them to me at this address.
Part VI: Oh yeah alright, are you gonna be in my dreams tonight? And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
The playoff season is right around the corner and now is the time focus on the two most important things in our league. Playoff position and the MID SEASON PARTY. What else needs to be said?
(Paul was The Walrus. Goo Goo G'Joob)
- David, Thats What She Said
