Ghost Man on Third: The Veritable Smorgasborg Edition

The  Award Winning Official Newsletter of the MA Commonwealth Division

"Kickball is Law and you are Crime"  

WEEK THREE: " I'll use a piece of paper and the almighty pen - here we go again." - The Hives

Table of Contents: 

I: I abba a great ikea! 

II: Absolut Good Time

III: The Sons of P.J. Axelsson 

IV:If Stieg Larson's so great, why is he dead?

V: Standings and Schedule 

VI: Announcements

VII: So close to the Finnish (No Pun Intended)

PART I: So what's the attraction? The suckers sing. Prolific depth or static cling? Well from greatness to greatness is where I span. You have me for a moment grab on while you can" - The Hives"

Last season one of the running bits in the newsletter was adapting a quote from the highly critically acclaimed HBO series "The Wire" and applying it to kickball. Some of quotes were used seamlessly ("All the pieces matter", "All in the game, yo", or "The games the same. Just more fierce.") while others needed some tweaking ("Kiiiiiiiiiiiick"). One of the reasons why The Wire is so critically acclaimed, is the amount of attention to detail the show paid to every aspect. Aside from the compelling storytelling, what struck me as most genius was there was nothing wasted in The Wire. There was no wasted scene, no wasted line of dialogue, no wasted character (well except for Bunk and McNulty at their drunken finest) all of which required such an emotional investment and commitment from the viewer. Plus David Simon and Ed Burns were able to meet that level of investment by the viewer, and provide a payoff worthy of that investment with each season. Unlike most of the scripted crap on TV today (and I'm including "reality shows"...color me devastated when I read this salacious nugget), the writers gave a shit to such things as logic, continuity, and sensible plot. (Read this epic, epic take down of the thankfully cancelled "Terra Nova" by ESPN.com columnist Gregg Easterbrook). In a highly competitive world, attention to detail (or as I like to say "giving a shit") often makes the difference between success and failure, winning and losing. 

Now if you are paying attention, you are probably wondering, "Why is he talking about The Wire, when the little clues we've been given so far, all point to Sweden?" Well mina vänner, on Saturday night, I will be seeing the Swedish provoc-auteres of rock The Hives at the House of Blues. Besides providing me with dulcet tones pleasing to my roots rock rebel ears, The Hives are a band that gives a shit to every detail. From extremely smart lyrics  ranging from the sarcastic (just listen to the best Christmas song ever) to the sardonic, with often time surrealist lyrics that still make sense, musically The Hives stand up there as one of the best bands of the last decade. Their studio work, is enhanced but some of the highest energy shows I've ever seen. 


The Hives, however do not stop there, instead turning up their shtick to 11, or perhaps maybe even 12 . The five members of the band go by stage names that imply chaos or danger (Nicholaus Arson is a fantastic fucking stage name), yet dress each tour in a strict uniform, everything in black and white. (This tour they are wearing full tuxedos, and off stage for interviews and public appearances black jeans, white t-shirts and blak leather jackets.)  This creativity and focus on the details, extends beyond appearance into the very myth of the band's formation. Instead of the "truth" being two brothers formed a band of friends, "Hives-tory" tells us the band was conceived, formed and trained by the svengali musician Randy Fitzsimmons. He writes the songs. He writes the lyrics. He books the tours, designs the costumes and manages the money. He doesn't exist. Just check out the cover of their 2004 work "Tyrannosaurus Hives". On the front are the five members of the band. Yet on the back there are six pairs of legs. 

We have a lot of avenues competing for our attention these days. Therefore I feel some sort of comfort and hope in the world, when people who create, whether they be photographers, painters, writers, musicians, put in the extra effort to make the time you spend with that piece of art worth it. Give a shit, or as some say, 

PART II: "Wanted to stick an office worker inside of me.But I kept breaking free, they could no capture me. I pulled maneuvers that were closer to savage see, Bad, bad! They tried to stick a dead body inside of me, Bad bad! Come again I tell no lies" - The Hives

Speaking of costumes and details, that brings us to the 1st most important date of the kickball season

MA COMMONWEALTH MIDSEASON PARTY

When: July 13th, 2012 - 7:30pm

Where: An Tua Nua 

Who: Registered Commonwealth Division Members (Free) Guests ($5)

This year, the party will be a HALLOWEEN PARTY. Come in costume. There will a contest for best costume with PRIZES. Stick here for more details as we get closer to the date. Let's just say I am expecting the members of Don't Come on My Base! to bring it like a tsunami. 

PART III: "So sick of trying to make my time last and ending up with less. I know your way of doing things and it has lost it's attraction. Why settle for twenty-four when I can have a hundred fractions. Who knew I'd be the one pulling off the perfect crime. So here's my new line I'll change your mind and the metric system to time." - The Hives

6:30pm Games

Ninjapocalypse Now 9 over Don't Come on My Base! 2

Due to the draw of the Vegas lights, car trouble, and various health issues, DCOMB did not roll as deep as they were planning. Thanks to the last minute showing of Dan “The man with the plan”, the pink team finally had a starting pitcher and the mandated amount of testosterone. With a valid roster, the squad proceeded to dominate the “age race” with more grey wigs, canes, and muumuu’s than are worth mentioning. Only one broken hip was recorded on a sprint to first base. Two runs were, but the early onset Alzeheimer’s disease kept anyone from remembering by whom.

DCOMB! were not the only team besieged by walking aids and senior moments, as the Ninjas dealt with a be-crutched Jen cheering them on, and a few senior moments on the base paths. Despite those set backs, it was a valiant team effort, as excellent plays in the field were made by Jordan, Amy, and Hadley, and the offense was pulsed by Paul, Jon, Mike, and Jon. The Indefatigable Can of Spam was awarded to Jeff, the Helmet of The Horror, The Horror went to Paul, and the Sword of Honor for team game MVP went to Jordan. 

Erik and David contributed this report

Dirty Mike and the Boys 9 18 over We've Got the Runs 0 

June 14, 2012: A day that will live on in kickball infamy. Dirty Mike and the Boys as always came to play. What started off as a sneaky jorts unveiling by leadoff hitter CT, turned into another defensive showcasing with great plays from the likes of Dara, Katie, and Tyler tracking them down. Hoping to avoid the imminent lashing that inevitably comes with a loss, BDO sweat it out on the mound, as his father watched from the sidelines. The offense as always came to play, but we need not single anyone out, as offense puts asses in the stands, but defense wins championships. Combined scores after weeks 1 & 2 = 27-0. Score a run on us… we dare you.

Once again We've Got the Runs actually didn't have any as our shut out streak is now at 2 straight weeks. Katie C made a great catch in right field in her first game. Mike D shut Dirty Mike and the Boys down in the top of the 5th but we still weren't able to capitalize. Additional highlights included Vivek aka "Osama" showing up and playing in blue jeans and commando boots. Once again Frank "the Tank" got himself into the highlight reel by fouling off a few pitches before getting the ball stuck in a tree. No one from either team was able to get it down despite throwing various rocks, drink bottles and other balls at the branches. Finally an elder gentleman from the black team was able to climb the tree and get the ball down so that the game could continue.

Chris and Sam contributed this report.

PART IV:" "This time you've really got something it's such a clever idea. But it doesn't mean it's good 'cause you found it at the library. Yes they were smart but they are dead And you're repeating all that they said, You know it don't make you clever like you thought it would. The Dead Quote Olympics. It's on." - The Hives

7:15pm Games

Looking to Bust Balls 4 over Kickin' Nuggets 3

LTBB narrowly escaped with a 4-3 win versus Kickin' Nuggets. Adam, Nick, and Steve each had RBIs in the first inning to open up a 3-0 lead. However Kickin' Nuggets rallied to tie the game at 3. In the bottom of the 4th fleet footed Richard jetted around the bases to score the winning run.

The Nuggets almost won, 4-5, last week against the pink team. Matt B started us off with our first run of the season, courtesy of speed only previously seen in Jacoby Ellsbury.Adam  commanded the infield by catching numerous pop-ups and keeping our team wired on Big League Chew. Pedro  kept kickers looking alive with his pitching prowess. The rest of the team contributed to our (near) success and almost always caught or stopped the ball!

Armed with a killer line-up, Big League Chew, and another practice under our belts, the Nuggets would like to notify the Runs that we're looking forward to our first WIN!

- Jess and Jason contributed this report.

Pumped up Kicks 4 over Teleballin' 1

Teleballin' had a bit of a rough start to the game, but had some great defensive plays made by Richard Z. and Maureen. The tenacious Teleballers went into the final inning down 4-0. Stefan G. ended up kicking a line drive to 3rd and came in to score their only run.

- Meghan contributed to this report

PART V: "Cause I have done it before and I can do it some more. I got my eye on the score .I'm gonna cut to the core. It's too late it's too soon or is it? Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, BOOM!"- The Hives

Standings:

Schedule:

6:30PM

Desert: 

Pumped Up Kicksv. Looking to Bust Balls

Referee: We've Got the Runs!

Grass:

Teleballin' v. Don't Come on My Base! 

Referee: Dirty Mike and the Boys

7:15pm 

Desert: 

Kickin' Nuggets v. We've Got the Runs!

Referee: Looking to Bust Balls

Grass:

Dirty Mike and the Boys v. Ninjapocalypse Now

Referee: Don't Come on My Base! 

PART VI: "So here I am yeah! Once again yeah! Calling out the news. What's that spell yeah! Go to hell yeah is that phrase I'm about to use." The Hives

Announcements, Announcements Announcements

HOT HOT HOT: As you are probably aware, it is hot. Your safety is the number one priority for the league, so please drink and bring plenty of water. It should be cooler when the games start, but please be aware of the heat.

PHOTOS:   Thanks to Robert of Kickin' Nuggets for some of this week's photos.If you have any from the games, Boca bar, or find yourself randomly wandering the streets of Eastern Massachusetts in your kickball t-shirt, Send them to me. 

GAME TIMES: Now that we've passed the summer solstice, the amount of day light we get will get shorter and shorter for the remainder of the season. For the regular season we are fine, but the closer we get to August the darker it gets earlier. Umpires, please enforce the start times as best you can, as soon as each team has 4 males and 4 females start the game. There is a 15 minute grace period, but after that period the game is a forfeit. Also there is a 90 minute time limit to games. If a game exceeds that length it will be called and the result of the game at the time called stands. Teams try to make sure you have at least 4 males and 4 females at the start of your game. We are not in Sweden where this time of year you get 22 hours of sunlight. Thank you

BOCA BAR: Cool margaritas, ice cold beers. What better way to beat the heat than Boca Bar!  

TWITTER: Remember to follow the league twitter account. @Macommonealth for all the latest news. 

PART VII:" I never wanted it to end. Good with transmission but too lazy to send. Not going down no in no history. You're going down all because of me." - The Hives

If you've ever shopped at an ikea, you know the layout. Instead of shelves and aisles, you have showrooms. Instead of picking things up, you write them down and have your order fulfilled when you check out. This method of merchandising is not some fluke, but a result of countless hours of research and optimization. ikea revolutionized the way people show by looking at the details from the customer perspective.

Details matter in all aspects of life, whether it be work, or play. Now that we are two weeks into the season the newness is worn off. Experienced teams won't be able to take advantage of the inexperienced as much. The jockeying for position gets tougher. Just look at this week's matchups: The two top scoring teams face off in Dirty Mike and the Boys vs. the Ninjas. Two teams yet to win in Don't Come on My Base! and Kickin Nuggets will face off as well. Yeah, it may be week three, but those results could go a long way to determine playoff standings and ultimately who win's the league. These little things matter. Invest in the little things now, and that payoff in the end could be huge. Now excuse me as I try to build a fucking book case with an allen wrench. Skitstövel!

Good luck and happy kicking,

- David, GMOT Editor