THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE MA COMMONWEALTH DIVISION
“Take your stinking paws off my kickball, you damned dirty ape!"
CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK “Here we come, walkin'.down the street. We get the funniest looks from Ev'ry one we meet. Hey, hey, we're the Monkees and people say we monkey around.” - The Monkees
Table of Contents:
II: Do the Evolution
III: Bedtime for Bonzo
IV:Orang-you-tan? Orang -ME!-tan
V: Schedule
V: Announcements
VI: I hate every Ape I see from Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z
PART I: “Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey. Brass Monkey - junkie.That funky Monkey. Got this dance that's more than real.Drink Brass Monkey - here's how you feel. Put your left leg down - your right leg up.Tilt your head back - let's finish the cup.” - The Beastie Boys
Two notes of (monkey) business.
First, tonight is Championship Night. All league members, friends, and hangers on are encouraged to attend to see who is crowned league champ. There will be trophies!
Umpires are needed for all three games, so please anyone interested in hanging out and helping out please 
email me, or just show up.
email me, or just show up.With the playoffs wrapping up, in this the penultimate GMOT of the season, now is a perfect opportunity to plant the seed and whet your whistle for the End of Season Party. The date and time are still to be announced. Social Chair Jennie Levangie is working the phones looking for the best deal with working air conditioning for the end of season blowout. The budget for this party is quite large (hey, Tom can’t embezzle all of the entrance fee money, though he tries).
Hopefully we’ll have the 411 in the GMOT: LEAGUE WRAP UP EDITION... if not, Tom will be sending out a general email to the league. Stay tuned. You don’t want to miss it. It will be more fun that a barrel of monkeys.
PART II: “Well did God make man in a breath of holy fire. Or did he crawl on up out of the muck and mire. Well the man on the street believes what the bible tells him so. Well you can ask me, mister, because I know. Tell them soul-suckin' preachers to come on down and see, Part man, part monkey, baby that's me. “ - Bruce
In the on going quest for knowledge and truth, human beings must constantly deal with the word “bias.” nfortunately in the “shout at the top of your lungs, saying ridiculous things” news media age we live in, bias has become a dirty word. And not the fun kind of dirty, either. A basic truth in life is that every individual is 
biased, as our conclusions about life are based on previous influences, influences beyond our control, and influences that may be wrong, especially in the light of such things as facts. A friend of mine recently sent me a you tube clip of a kids being taught about evolution from a fundamentalist view point. Now, I fully support someone’s right to believe whatever they want, especially when it comes to matters of faith, God, etc. However, I draw the line when fact is willfully denied to prop up dogma. It’s dishonest, and no “faith” in the true sense of the word, should be based on dishonesty. (It’s such a lonely word.)
biased, as our conclusions about life are based on previous influences, influences beyond our control, and influences that may be wrong, especially in the light of such things as facts. A friend of mine recently sent me a you tube clip of a kids being taught about evolution from a fundamentalist view point. Now, I fully support someone’s right to believe whatever they want, especially when it comes to matters of faith, God, etc. However, I draw the line when fact is willfully denied to prop up dogma. It’s dishonest, and no “faith” in the true sense of the word, should be based on dishonesty. (It’s such a lonely word.)But what really angered me about the clip was they started to pick on monkeys. Monkeys are awesome. Probably the coolest animal on the planet after the rhinoceros and panda in my eyes. Not only that, any rock and roll band worth its salt has a song that is dedicated to, about, or mentions monkeys. I have no problem with modern apes being my evolutionary cousins, and having descended from a common ancestor. In fact, I’d probably prefer some chimps and baboons over some of my other, more human relatives.
Oh. And monkeys love kickball. Deny that! Now enough monkeying around and onto business.
PART III - ”Come on it’s such a joy. Come on, let's take it easy. Come on, let's take it easy.Take it easy, take it easy. Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.” - The Beatles
6:30pm Games:
Allen Club 4 over Ball Busters 4 (via tiebreaker)
Editor’s Note:
In bringing to you this weekly newsletter, I have strived to highlight the relevant rules and procedures that may come up. An oversight and failure on my part in explaining the over time rules, was to ignore the ending of a tie game with Rock Paper Scissors. To both teams, I apologize. (Division Tournament Rules can be found here).
I empathize, as not winning a game on a field of battle, but due to chance, feels wrong, and is wrong and objectionable in many levels. But it is in the rules, and without rules, Caddigan could be roaming the field pantsless. And I’m sure no one wants that. (Can I get a hell yeah, ladies?)
As for the game itself, it was quite a battle. Ball Busters jumped out to a 3-0 leading, only to see Allen Club
tie it on a two-out bases loaded double that landed square on the right field fair/foul cone. Truly a precise shot. Extra innings featured each team scoring a run, but alas time expired an the game was decided as Tom threw rock, and Joshua threw paper. Just like Michael and GOB Bluth, it didn’t make sense to them either.
As for the Ball Busters, “I was told by my mom that if you "don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"...I feel that pertinent since I'm employed by WAKA and cannot say what I'd like to.” said
Team Captain Tom C. “Since when does a piece of paper beat a rock? Let me throw a rock at said piece of paper and see who comes out on top!” His justifiable anger diffused by some beer and a horse tranquilizer, he went onto say “Good luck to Allen Club, I hope they win the whole darn thing!”
Regardless of the ending, it was a great season for Ball Busters. Congrats to Toni, Max, Erica, Elisabeth, Greg, Ilana, Jamie, Jennifer, John, Jennie, James, Kristy, David, Lindsay, Lisa, Mel, Mike, Richie, Amy, Tara, Tom and Yasmin for a helluva season.
Tom C. contributed to this report.
Looking to Score 12 over Wakademia Nuts 3
After barely surviving the 15 minute time limit due to lack of girls, looking to score came out looking to score early and often. In the top of the 1st inning chris led off with a triple and alina followed with an rbi single. Kramer, Forge, and BDO all followed with doubles plating 3 more runs, and Nick capped off the 5 run 1st inning with a rbi sacrifice fly. Looking to score added to the lead in the 2nd inning thanks to some very crafty and heads up base running by jeff who circled the bases thanks to successfully dodging the ball at every base and increasing the lead to 6-0. Looking to score really put the game out of reach by plating 6 in the top of the 5th thanks to vera's bunt single to lead off the inning, richards hustle with 2 outs to keep the inning going, and forge, who in his last at bat for looking to score, kicked a 3 run home run capped by a head first slide into home on the dirt. An all around great defensive effort helped looking to score solidify a place in the semifinals with a 12-3 victory.
As for the Wakademia Nuts, the record did not reflect the heart and teamwork they displayed throughout the season. They approached each game with total effort, and it was only execution which failed them, something of which they should not be ashamed. Congratulations to Andrew, Andrew, Anney, Carolyn, Caitlin, Cathy, Christina, David, Adam, Jon, Jon, Jonathan, Justin, Karen, Emil, Lauren, Maureen, Nick, Nicole, Millia Andrew, Teddy and Vikul for a season well played.
Ben K contributed to this report
PART IV: “If Man is 5...If Man is 5.If Man is 5. Then the Devil is 6.Then the Devil is 6. Then the Devil is 6.And if the Devil is 6.Then God is 7.Then God is 7.Then God is 7.This monkey's gone to heaven.” - Pixies
7:15 Games
Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas 5 over Shenanigans 0
The Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas opened the playoffs by defeating the Shenanigans by a count of 5-0. Runs were scored by Paul (who took a two foot divot out of the ground on his slide into home), Anne Marie, Brandon, Ed and Jen. Shenanigan Jeff was pegged out steps from home plate, completing a Ninja inside joke from five weeks ago. No awards were given out as both recepients had left them at home, so let's just say the MVP went to team scorekeeper, equipment manager
and overall dad, Jason. Last weeks award winners Rob and Susan have both been stricken from the records book, a la Reggie Bush. Kudos to the Shenanigans, you all definitely came a long way since the first match up with the Ninjas. Looking forward to seeing you in 2011.
Captain Kelly’s crew fought valiantly, but alas came up short. Still, it was a remarkable season for the Shenanigans. Hearty congratulations go out to Alex, Ally, Laurie, Cat, Dan, Gabe, Jen, Juan, Kelly, Ryan, Matt, Olivia, O’Toole, Pat, David, Jad, Becca, Ryan, and Jeff.
Paul contributed to this report.
CareScout 5 over Kicked to the Curb 1
CareScout won their first playoff game 5-1. Great Pitching, Great Defense and a strong start on offense
helped them move to a second round of the playoffs. Deciding to bat1st, CareScout jumped out of the gate with 3 runs in the first, this would prove to be more than enough. The highlight of the game: 2 great catches by Dave P, one followed by an “Antoine walker” like shimmy!. Going the extra Mile, Matt K pitched a great game and scored 2 runs…most impressive was his tag up from second base on a long fly ball to right field. Finally Andrew B ended the game with an assassin kill shot at 3rd base.After going down 3 runs in the first inning, KTTC managed to pick up a run in the top of the second. In the bottom of the second the Care Scouts were looking to pile on the runs with no outs and runners at 1st and
2nd. Then a routine infield fly to pitcher Matt B opened the door to the first triple play of the season, tagging the runner at between first and second and throwing for the force out at 2nd.
KTTC finally adopted the bunting strategy that it lacked for most of the season, but pitching from the Care Scouts seemed almost unhitable at times as each pitch bounced, spun, and turned while reaching the plate. Overall it was a dominant performance by Care Scouts even though KTTC put together a solid showing. Congratulations to Ben, Andrew, Anubha, Matt, Adam, Matt, Elias, Elaine, Daric, Jaclyn, Sarah, Andrew, Kelly, Ledum, Kristin, Philippe, Rehab and Jonathan.
Dave and Matt contributed to this report.
PART V:"Well, I hope we're not too messianic.Or a trifle too satanic. We love to play the blues. Well I am just a monkey man . I'm glad you are a monkey woman.” - The Rolling Stones
Schedule for Championship Week:
Thursday, July 29, 2010
6:30 pm - Semifinals
Diamond:
#1 CareScout v. #5 Allen Club
Grass:
#2 Looking to Score v. #3 Wicked Awesome Helicopter Ninjas
Umpires for both games to be determined.
7:15 pm - Finals- Diamond
Diamond Game winner v. Grass Game winner.
PART VI: “Blonde haired, good lookin' tryin' to get me hooked. Wants me to marry, settle down and get a home and and write a book. Uh-uh, too much monkey business, too much monkey business.Too much monkey business for me to be involved in.Oh-ho-ho” - Elvis
Announcements, Announcements, Announcements:
BOCA BAR: Come say thank you to our league sponsors at the Boca Bar. Let’s blow it out tonight!
WEATHER: Despite the gloom of the morning, it looks like the weather will be okay for tonight. Show up to play. Like we always do.
SUNLIGHT: As we move closer to August, the amount of light we get will be less and less the closer we get to8pm. There is a 15 minute grace period. Any game that does not start within 15 minutes of the schedule start time will be a forfeit.
PART VII: - “Monkey driven. Call this living? Ha! Ah, too much thought it's overwrought a hole. Yeah, minding yours what's mine not yours.Will finish us off.” - Pearl Jam
The time for monkeyshines has come to pass. The banana has been peeled and now it’s time to eat. One team will be feasting. Three teams will join the rest of the league in flinging poo. It’s gonna be awesome. Don’t miss it and good luck to everyone!
- David, GMOT Editor, Team Shenanigans
