Ghost Man on Third: Week 6

GHOST MAN ON THIRD

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE COMMONWEALTH DIVISION
"In Former Soviet Union, balls kick you."

WEEK SIX: "Welcome to the Camp. I guess you all know why we're here. My name is Tommy and I became aware this year. If you want to follow me, you've got to play pin(kick)ball. So put in your ear plugs, put on your eye shades, you know where to put the cork."

Table of Contents:

I - Hangovers
II – Mail-Bagging It
III – Game 1 Recap
IV – Game 2 Recap
V – Standings & Schedule
VI – Announcements
VII - Acts of Parliament Outlawing Windmill Strumming



PART I -"Sometimes I feel I gotta get away. Bells chime, I know I gotta get away. And I know if I don't, I'll go out of my mind. Better leave her behind with the kids, they're all right!"

Piecing together the foggy and slightly inebriated recollections of those in attendance, the Mid-Season Party was a rousing success. With nearly 300 kickballers in attendance from both the MA Commonwealth League, and those other folks in Boston, Hurricane O'Reilly's was the epicenter of awesomeness last Saturday night. $215 dollars was raised for the MA Commonwealth League's charity, The Cure Alzheimer's Fund, so everyone wins.

For those of you who missed this transcendental experience, do not fret, as the End of Season Bash is currently in the works. And as it will only be for the members of the MA Commonwealth League and their guests, it will truly be the must-attend event of the summer.

League Social Chair, and Ball Busters Team Captain Jennie Levangie has sent along the "acceptable" pictures from the evening. Since these are great pictures, one can only guess what the "unacceptable" pictures entail!



PART II – " Gather your wits and hold on fast, your mind must learn to roam. Just as the Gypsy Queen must do, you're gonna hit the road."

Since I'm two days away from a long vacation, I'm mailing this week in and simply answering some of the fan mail we've received here at the GMOT Fortress of Ineptitude.

Do you think Animal is My Homeboy will lose a game? (Josh B. Waltham,MA ) - Yes. I think that team is capable of losing a game. Whether that game is kickball is another question. I've seen that team, and honestly they seem vulnerable, especially if the game is the ever popular knifey-spoony or strip-chutes and ladders.

So what's the deal with airline peanuts? (Jerry S. Montauk, NY) - It's a conspiracy to make you pee, so that when you get up from your seat the flight attendents can raid your luggage and sell anything valuable on eBay to cover the rising fuel costs.

In the first GMOT, you mentioned that this league would have more Hugh Jackman, but he hasn't been mentioned since. What's up with that? (Hugh J., Beverly Hills, CA) - You just got mentioned. Happy?

Jim Jenkins is referred to as "League Rep." Does this mean he's union, and if so, does he know the whereabouts of the late Jimmy Hoffa? (J. Edgar, Washington, DC) - Yes. Jim is in a union, but he has no knowledge of the whereabouts of former AFL-CIO leader Jimmy Hoffa. Though he does recommend watching your step when rounding second base at Lowell Field.

Do you prefer the red solo cups or the blue ones? (Isaac G, Waltham, MA) - Until last night I would have said "red" as it is the color of my youth. But after the season 5 premier of Project Runway, seeing what one of the designers did with blue solo cups, and how hot his model looked, I'll have to go with blue.

So BRB stands for "Big Red Balls". Yet their team color is blue. What kind of God allows for that? (Richard D., London, UK) - A colorblind theistic God. Duh.


Where do you come up with all your funny comments? (Dorian G., Dublin Ireland) - Theft and snorting mustard packets.

What do you think ADPI stands for? (Besty B, Waltham, MA) - AluminumDextrous Penile Implants or Average Daily Pizza Intake.

Will we win again? (Jennie L, Waltham, MA) - You're all winners in my book.

Who is the band of the week? (Pete T, Shepard's Bush) - You are absolutely correct. (The) Who is the band of the week. They need no introduction, save for the greatest band in Rock n Roll.


PART III – "Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss."

Game One Recap: Ball Busters – 4 vs. Animal is My Homeboy 5

The issue of identity is important for any team. In the first game of week six, you had two teams with distinct and divergent identities clashing. One one hand you had Ball Busters, the league's cellar dwellers, who despite their poor record, are a scrappy and spunky bunch. On the other hand is the juggernaut that is Animal is My Homeboy, who've demonstrated time and time again their uncanny ability to just win baby.

Seeking to stay undefeated and clinch the best regular season record and the top seed for the playoffs, the Animals got off to a sluggish start and Ball Busters responded with an aggressive attack. Nearly batting around in the first inning, Ball Busters jumped out to a 4-0 lead, the exclamation point being Jennie PLOWING into Steve S of Animal, who was covering the plate to score the fourth run. The early lead had Becky doing cartwheels in the outfield.

In the bottom of the first a Brian S. single, Colleen G. sacrifice and Mark B. double plated one run. However, a great catch by Adam S.and a peg at the plate by Jamie D. limited the damage, and maintained a three run Ball Busters lead. The Animals, rebounded defensively in the second and third, throwing out runners at the plate in both innings to keep the deficit at three runs. In the bottom of the third, a Tom C. single, followed by a Nikki T. sacrifice, and singles by and Laura B.Scott B. plated Tom to cut the lead to 4-2.

Animals further cut the lead in the bottom of the 4th as Steve S. doubled and moved to third on a hustle double by Isaac Gerofsky. A ground out by Jeff F. scored the run to slice the lead to 4-3.

In the top of the 5th, Steve S. relieved Nikki, who despite the rough first had held the Ball Busters at bay while the Animals chipped away. Ball Busters missed some opportunities, to put runners on base and limit the damage, and the relentlessness of Animals set up a showdown in the 5th inning.

Ball Busters unable to extend the lead in the top of the 5th, wilted under the pressure in the bottom of the inning. Tom C. of animals lead off with a bunt, shocking both his teammates and the Ball Busters defense. Ed T. followed with a bunt and Nikki T's bunt loaded the bases with no one out. This seemed to fluster Ball Buster's pitcher Mike C, who then issued a base-loaded walk to Lauren B. to tie the score at four all. With the bases still loaded, Scott B. hit a fly ball that was caught, but Ed T. was able to tag up and score, sealing the comeback and keeping the perfect season in tact.

Isaac Gerofsky and Mike Haverty contributed to this report.


PART IV: "We're not pawns in any game, we're not tools of bigger men. There's only one who can really move us all. It all looks fine, to the naked eye. But it don't really happen that way at all."

Game 2 Recap: BRB – 6 vs. ADPI - 3

With the best regular season record sewn up by Animal is My Homeboy, the remaining teams must now turn their attention to jockeying for playoff position. BRB and ADPI, separated by a single run in differential, began the battle for second place in the second game.

ADPI, missing their captain, Besty, lead off but were stymied by the BRB defense, lead by their catcherHolly and pitching by the illustrious Dave. In the bottom of the first, great kicks by Kristina, Steve, and Adam kept bringing in the runs, to build a 4-0 lead. Maria and Jim combined to get the scoring started for ADPI and cut the lead to 4-2. But great defense by BRB, lead by Amir, thwarted the ADPI rally.

BRB was able to push another run on the board, but ADPI's defense held, as first baseman Brian shrugged off an injury and make a great play to end the third. Paul lead got on base to start the fourth, and scored on a sacrifice fly by Matt, beating a close play at the plate to cut the lead to 5-3.However, BRB was able to ad an insurance run in the bottom of the 4th, and spurred on by the crowd of children gathered in the stands, BRB held off the final ADPI rally in the top of the 5th for the victory.

"BRB is back. You knew it!" writes BRB scribe Holly Monaco. Whether it was the fact that the alcholic beverages were chilled, and all their stars were back, including team captain Marty, BRB was able to launch themselves back into greatness and claim a seeming strangle hold on second place.

"Who needs theme music anyway?"

Holly Monaco and David Merrill contributed to this report.


PART V: "I thought I was the body table king, but I just handed my pin(kick)ball crown to him."

Standings after Week 6

1.) Animal is My Homeboy (6-0-0) 12pts, run diff +12
2.) BRB (3-3-0) 6pts, run diff + 4
3.) ADPI (2-4-0) 4pts, run diff -1
4.)Ball Busters (1-4-0) 2pts, run diff - 15

Schedule for Week 7, July 17


6:30 - Animal is My Homeboy vs. ADPI
(ref -BRB, equip Jim)

7:15 - Ball Busters vs. BRB.
(ref - Animal is My Homeboy, equip - Jim) 

PART VI: "You talk about your woman, I wish you could see mine. Every time she starts to lovin', she brings eyesight to the blind."

Announcements, Announcements, Announcements

CHARITY: The official charity for the MA Commonwealth League is the Cure Alzheimer's Fund. Please check out their website: http://www.curealzfund.org/ League-wide fund-raising information will becoming soon to help fight this terrible disease.

WEBSITE: Check out the League site at

https://www.kickball.com/macommonwealth/index.php

Check out the photo albums from league members!

To add your photos email Steve Sweetser at ssweetser@gmail.com

GHOST: As always a copy of this newsletter can be found at the GMOT Blog, along with a ton of other useful information. Also the comments are active, so if you want to trash talk, feel free.

https://www.kickball.com/macommonwealth/gmotweek1.htm

BOCA BAR: Those hot steamy nights of summer are upon us. The BOCA BAR, the official bar of the MA Commonwealth league is the perfect way to fight the muggies, celebrate a kickball victory or mute the sting of defeat. Join us every week, at 11 Pine Street, Waltham. Team shot specials, great appetizers, 15% off fantastic food influenced by Costa Rica, and free wings with a Bud Light pitcher.



PART VII: "I call you on the telephone, my voice too rough with cigarettes. I sometimes feel I should just go home, but I'm dealing with a memory that never forgets."

Hope is an essential element to the human experience. It gives us the motivation and energy to fight through seeming impossible situations. Animal is My Homeboy has clinched the best record in the league. Yet this leaves Team Captain Isaac Gerofsky with a dilemma. Does he rest his star players for the playoffs, or does he go for the perfect season, which is so tantalizingly close? It's ADPI's turn to see if they can derail the freight train. Their last game was a rare last game loss of ace closer Jim Jenkins, and revenge is emblazoned on the minds of the ADPI like "LOVE and HATE" on Radio Rahim's knuckles in "Do the Right Thing." In the second game, Ball Busters will attempt to throw a monkey wrench into the 2nd place aspirations of BRB. While their record may not reflect their redoubtable spirit and multi-faceted attack of kicking, catching, dancing, theme songs, and outfield acrobatics, Ball Busters only win was over BRB, and team captain Jennie, may have their number. (867-5309?) With two weeks before the playoffs, teams must establish their identity. BRB, Ball Busters and ADPI must go to the mirror, boy, and ask themselves the question. Who are you? Who the F*ck are you?

- David, Team ADPI